ERROR 404 BLOG TITLE NOT FOUND. Probably because the owner of the blog is suffering from lemon overload…

You know when you have a lot to say but can’t find the words to say it so it’ll make sense? That’s my problem right now. I actually have that problem a lot. Lately I’ve found that after I’m done talking I’ll think to myself “wait, that wasn’t even a sentence…” I’m a little awkward.

In other equally interesting news, I made lemon cake today. Hold up. Make that a 4-layer gluten free lemon cake with lemon filling and lemon buttercream frosting. Go go gadget get me something to get all this lemon out of my system. I feel like I need a detox now. But it’s definitely worth it because the cake was totally fantastic and was the prettiest cake I’ve ever made. Which really isn’t saying much since the cakes I usually make involve cake mix from a box and then me frosting the cake while it’s still in the 9×13 pan and just eating it straight out of there. Classy with a K.

A lovely reader by the name of Avra-Sha Faohla submitted something for Stalker Sunday. Two things: first, I totally forgot about Stalker Sunday, and second, isn’t that to best name ever? I was seriously walking around my room today going Avra Sha, Avra Sha, Avra Sha. But, then again, sha is fun to say. I really need to get out more.

Oatmeal Bars

Adapted from AllRecipes. (Right on. That website is the bombdotcom.)

Ingredients

3 cups rolled oats
1 cup brown sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
2 eggs
1/2 cup melted butter
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3/4 cup dried cranberries

Directions

Decide that instead of making your friend a birthday cake, you will help use up the ridiculous amount of oatmeal that’s hanging around your house by making her oatmeal bars.

In a large bowl, mix together oats, brown sugar, cinnamon, baking powder, and salt (or skip the salt because you’re cool and always skip it).

Realize that you’ve forgotten to preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Do so now.

Beat in milk (or rice milk, because you’re cool and only make dairy-free baked goods), eggs, melted butter (or oil, because you’re cool and try to be healthier even for baked desserts), and vanilla extract.

Discover that you actually have a huge bag of dried cranberries that no one’s using and therefore do not need a substitute. Stir them in.

Spread batter into a 9×13 inch baking dish and bake for 40 minutes.

Decide fifteen minutes into the forty that it would have been epic if you’d spelled out a happy birthday wish in dried cranberries, but determine that it’s too late for that.

Remove from oven at the end of the forty minutes. Cool, slice and eat. Ignore the fact that the thing totally falls apart when you slice it because it’s delicious enough to make up for that.

Sha. Ok sorry, I’m done now.

Please excuse me while I ramble about chocolate and tuxedos…

I made you some food, because I think you’re awesome.

I’m not entirely sure what I made, but all I know is that it’s edible and delicious and I might eat all of it by myself. Om nom nom.

It’s been kind of a weird day today. I was up until 1 this morning, which is wayyy past my bedtime, and I’m a little tired. Why was I up so late, you ask? Why, I was being my social butterfly self and I was par-taying, of course. HA. I wish. Actually, I was at a benefit dinner for my church. In addition to playing violin in the church orchestra during the dinner, I also helped run the coat check, ordered kids in the children’s choir around, ate food (shocker?), and told attractive people that they looked really good in their tuxedos. And by people, I mean one person. And by attractive, I mean really, really attractive. Fact.

So since I’m a bit of a space cadet today, I wanted some coffee. And Kahlua. Because Kahlua is delicious. Did you know that in England you can drink alcohol if you’re over the age of 5?  There’s your random British trivia for the day. You’re welcome.

I’m not entire sure how I found this recipe, or even what it’s supposed to be. Cake? Bread? It tastes a bit like the muffins from Bread Company/Panera Bread. So maybe it’s a bread muffin? Breadin? *sigh* My brain hurts.

Dear Kahlua, why do you taste and smell so awesome? It’s a valid question. Sincerely, Me.

The original recipe said to add dates into the batter. But I knew that couldn’t be right. I mean, who willingly eats dates? So, when it said “dates”, I assumed it was just a typo and that it actually meant to say “chocolate chips.” Because next to bacon and Dr. Pepper, chocolate is God’s gift to this earth. I love chocolate. Which is why I will eat all of this bread stuff by myself.

And now I’m just awkwardly sitting here, eating my breadin and thinking that if I were a dude, I’d totally wear a tuxedo all the time. I really need to go to bed.

Chocolate Kahlua Bread

Adapted from here

1/4 cup softened butter (1/2 stick)
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup hot brewed coffee
3 tablespoons Kahlua
1 egg
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1-1/2 cups white flour
1/2 cup chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugar. Then add the coffee, Kahlua, and egg.  Mix until well combined.

In a separate bowl, combine the cinnamon, baking power, baking soda and flour.  Slowly add the flour mixture to the Kahlua mixture of deliciousness. Gently stir in the chocolate chips.

Grease an 8 x 8 or 9×9 pan. Pour the batter into the pan. Bake for 25-28 minutes, checking after about 25. The cake/bread/whatever is done when a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Join me in Stalker Sunday :)

How to participate? Glad you asked. Even though I mention how to in every other Stalker Sunday post. Short term memory loss, much?
1) Take a picture of food you made off of a blog/website.
2) Send it to me at thespoonatic(at)gmail(dot)com including the name of the concoction you made and the name of the place you got the recipe from.
3) Eat the food you make. Duh?

And for my next trick, I shall make the most delicious cookies ever to grace the planet

I made cookies. In case you couldn’t tell.

But not just any cookies, no sir. On a scale of 1 to Christian Bale, these cookies are up there near Mr. Bale. In Piccoland, that means that they’re pretty dang fantastic.

Oh and for the record, I have no clue why the sugar and butter mixture is orange.

Are you out of Halloween candy yet? Because we aren’t. At all. Luckily, I got to use up some of the 17 pounds of Halloween candy we accumulated. So now there are no more M&Ms left. Which is ok, because who really likes M&Ms anyway…? Skittles are the only way to fly. Oh and 9 little packages of M&Ms is almost equal to 1 cup, in case you wanted to know. What ever shall you do now that you have this new-found knowledge?! I suggest going on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Is that show still on? Or what about The Weakest Link? You are the weakest link. Goodbye. *ehem* Moving on…

One of the best parts about these cookies is that once you roll the dough into a ball, SHAZAM, you pull it apart. So then you have two globs of dough. But wait…then you stack them on top of each other! Can you tell I really had fun making these? It was kind of the highlight of my day…err…life.

But seriously, these cookies are so good they make you want to smack your mama. Ok, not really. I’m sure your mother’s a lovely woman and not in need of a smack. But you know what I mean.

Yeah, I got hungry and started to eat one of the cookies. And then realized it would make for a cool picture. Aaannnddd then I realized that no, it really wouldn’t make for a cool picture. More of a lame picture that shows I have no self-control when it comes to food. The end.

Thanks to How Sweet It Is for the cookie recipe that is too fantabulous for words. I’m too lazy to type up the recipe, but if you click here, it will take you to her post about the cookies.

Oh and thanks to Marie for submitting a Stalker Sunday recipe :)

And one last thing before I post this and go read my new favorite book, Pride and Prejudice (funny story, actually. But more on that later.), I just wanted to say how to make these cookies gluten-free. I used 2 cups + 2 tablespoons of gluten-free flour, and 3/4 teaspoon of xanthan gum. The dough will be a little squishy, for lack of a better adjective, but the cookies will turn out fine. Ok I’m done now.

Fish Tacos

Submitted by the always lovely Marie.

1. Salsa: if you want to make your own, that’s good, but I’m allergic to mangoes so I stuck with a low-calorie store bought version. Allergic also sometimes equals too lazy and didn’t have enough time….
2. Cream Topping: Plain Low-Fat Yougurt + 1/2 tsp of Fajita seasoning (I used twice that because I love Fajita seasoning). Mix and refrigerate. Also spill some seasoning on the floor and dip your sleeve in yogurt (try both at the same time for BONUS POINTS!!).
3. Fish: as much fish as you need–the recipe calls for tilapia; I used cod, but it took for.ev.er. to cook. Best to actually do what the recipe says, wonder of wonders, and use tilapia. Season it with salt and pepper and lime juice. Bake for about 8-10 minutes.
4. Spicy Black Beans: 1-2 cans of black beans (depending on how many you are serving–I was serving 8 and we had just enough for one each) in a pot with pre-sauteed 1/2 diced onion and 2-4 cloves garlic, 1 tsp cumin and 1 tsp chili powder. Mix it all up and spill lots of black bean juice on your pants.
5. Slice up your cabbage (or romaine, or iceberg, or rice if you are feeling like eating lots of carbs) and lay it over a toasted tortilla. Top this with the rest of your ready made ingredients and PRESTO-YUMO: you now have some deliciously amazing tacos.
6. Eat them very messily.

Join me in Stalker Sunday :)

How to participate? Glad you asked. Even though I mention how to in every other Stalker Sunday post. Short term memory loss, much?
1) Take a picture of food you made off of a blog/website.
2) Send it to me at thespoonatic(at)gmail(dot)com including the name of the concoction you made and the name of the place you got the recipe from.
3) Eat the food you make. Duh?

Napoleon, gimmie some of your tots

It’s official. Tater tots are the solution to all of life’s problems.

Overwhelmed with school/work? Eat some tater tots. Annoyed with people who really aren’t even worth your annoyance? Tater tots. Depressed because you know things will never work out between you and Christian Bale? Tots. Although, even if he wasn’t married and a dad, he’s too angsty for me. And I don’t do well with angsty people, in case you wanted to know.

Tater tots also help when you realize that you haven’t finished a book in over 6 months. In my defense, I’ve started many, many books. I just haven’t finished them. Crime & Punishment? Too depressing. Pride & Prejudice? I’m still working on that one… Dracula? *psh* Why bother? I only like books that have an ampersand in their name. Did you know that the “&” thingie is called an ampersand? I didn’t until the other day. Probably because I’m an illiterate loser. But do you know how to fix illiterateness and loserness? Join Goodreads.

I joined it the other day. It’s the 3rd social networking site I’ve joined! Woohoo! Pinterest, Twitter, and now Goodreads. Sadly, after joining them I didn’t attain the “coolness” I had anticipated I would. And really, the only reason I joined twitter is because Pinterest required a twitter account to register. Aaannnddd that’s why I’m not “popular”. That and I also have a bit of an obsession with quotation marks and ampersands as of late. I enjoy punctuation, ok?! Jeez.

But now that I’ve joined Goodreads (is that one word or two? Good Reads? Goodreads? I’m confused), I’ve realized that most of the books that I’ve read and enjoyed are children’s books. With the exception of The Giver and A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, the rest of the books that I rated “5 stars” (see? Who doesn’t love quotation marks?) were classics like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, The Giving Tree, and Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. I worry about myself sometimes.

I should probably tell you what all these pictures are of. Or maybe I won’t! BUAHHAHAHAHA. No, I’m joking. They’re all pictures of the Tater Tot Casserole I made yesterday. Meat? Yum. Cheese? Yum. Tater tots? YUM. Broccoli? *awkward silence* Ummm, I’m still learning how to appreciate certain foods. Like broccoli. And onions. And pretty much everything that isn’t deep fried and/or covered in chocolate and/or made with bacon. Ooooh, bacon. Off topic, but I really love bacon.

Oh, and when you realize that Christian Bale isn’t even on Twitter? Eat some tots to numb the pain. Christian “The Love of My Life” Bale isn’t on Twitter, but the dumb Kardashians are? *sigh* It’s a messed up world we live in, people.

Tater Tot Casserole

1 pound ground beef
1/2 of a medium onion, chopped
1 (10.75 ounce) can Campbell’s Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
3 cups frozen Tater Tots

1. Cook beef and onion in a skillet over medium-high heat until beef is no longer pink, stirring to break up meat. Spoon out grease.

2. Stir soup and Worcestershire sauce into skillet. Spoon beef mixture into 12×8-inch shallow baking dish. Cover with tater tots

3. Bake at 425 degrees F for 25 minutes or until potatoes are done.

Forget about Stalker Sunday? I know I did. But luckily Tia didn’t :)

Pumpkin Cream Cheese Coffee Cake

Thanks to Google for letting me steal this picture, because the picture Tia sent me wasn't uploading. True story.

1 1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 1/4 c. canned pumpkin
1/4 c. oil
1 t. vanilla
2 1/4 c. all purpose flour
2 t. ground cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice
1 t. baking soda
1/2 t. salt

Filling:
8 oz. light cream cheese – softened
1 egg
1 T. sugar

Topping:
3/4 c. flaked coconut
1/4 c. chopped pecans – toasted if desired
1/4 c. packed brown sugar
1/4 t. ground cinnamon
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a large mixing bowl, beat sugar, eggs, pumpkin, oil, and vanilla.

Combine flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt; add to egg mixture and mix well.

Pour into a greased 9×13 pan.

In a small mixing bowl, beat cream cheese, egg, and sugar until smooth.  Drop tablespoonfuls over batter; cut through batter with a knife to swirl.

Combine topping ingredients; sprinkle over top.

Bake for 35-40 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.  Cool on a wire rack.

16 servings.

Craziness runs in my family. Actually, it practically sprints.

This weekend we celebrated my great-grandparents’ 70th wedding anniversary. With a reception last night and a brunch and party all day today, it was a lot of fun. But very tiring. Luckily, I have insane family members to keep things interesting. Like my aunt.

That’s my lovely aunt who also doubles as my godmother. She’s pretty cool, in a making-fun-of-Miley-Cyrus-on-a-Saturday-Night-Live-skit kind of way. And yes, that’s a dinosaur finger puppet on the right. I was thinking of somehow adding this picture to my Spoonlighting logo, but even with the mask, her secret identity is kind of obvious. Oh, and I know that people she works with read my blog. Awkward.

In diet news, I stuck with my diet for a whole 6 days and 18 hours. Who’s impressed? I was supposed to hold on until November 1st, but last night around 6ish I was like I’m done eating veggies, BRING ON DA CAKE. And I then ate 2 pieces of salmon, a bunch of pasta, a roll, a huge piece of cake, and lots and lots of candy I was stealing from my little cousins. And I’m not even going to begin to talk about what I ate today.

Dear 4 pounds I lost,
You’ve been missed. Welcome home.
Love,
My hips

I totally forgot to do Stalker Sunday this week. And I’m not about to go cook something right now and then eat more. But Tia didn’t forget, of course. Have I mentioned I love that girl? I’m pretty sure I have, but I just wanted to reiterate it. Ok. Reiterating done.

She didn’t send a picture, so I was trying to find pictures of the bread online and just say she took them. But what the heck does creme de menthe chocolate chip bread look like? The only pictures that were coming up when I googled it were green breads. Is it really green? Because that’s messed up.

Crème de Menthe Chocolate Chip Bread

From Tia Rising over at Holding The Future Hostage

1 pkg. instant pistachio pudding
I pkg. Pillsbury white cake mix (or yellow)
1/3 c. oil
1/3 c. Crème de Menthe
1 c. sour cream
4 eggs
Mix, beat with electric mixer until smooth.  Add 1 cup mini chocolate chips (or regular if you’re a chocolaholic like me).  Divide into two greased bread pans.  Bake 30-40 minutes at 350 degrees.

Join me in Stalker Sunday :)

How to participate? Glad you asked. Even though I mention how to in every other Stalker Sunday post. Short term memory loss, much?
1) Take a picture of food you made off of a blog/website.
2) Send it to me at thespoonatic(at)gmail(dot)com including the name of the concoction you made and the name of the place you got the recipe from.
3) Eat the food you make. Duh?