A superhero cake for my brother who pretends he’s Batman

So, my brother. You know, the one who prays for Megan Fox and confuses the words potato and tornado? Yeah, he’s obsessed with superheroes. And obsessed is an understatement.

Every day his favorite superhero changes. Right now it’s a tie between Green Lantern and Batman, because he doesn’t like ones that fly. Apparently Batman doesn’t fly. Hmmm. I don’t understand that boy.

None of my other brothers have been as fascinated as he is with men who wear capes and most likely have anger issues. They were more into Blue’s Clues and cars, and they certainly didn’t run around the house wearing Batman glasses, a Spiderman shirt, and yelling I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU. He doesn’t get his craziness from me. I think?

It’s his birthday in a few days and for months now he’s been saying that he wants a superhero cake. Since I enjoy superheros too (Exhibit A: Batman converses.), I’ve been really excited about making one for him. So yesterday I sketched out a design for one that I’m not going to show because it looks like a talented 5 year old drew it. I really need to forget my non-existent dream of going to art school.

I think I also need to forget my non-existent dream of being on Ace of Cakes. It’s not too shabby for someone who really has no attention to detail, right? Just agree with me.

I was going to do a three layer cake and have a layer each for Spiderman, Batman, and Green Lantern, but I would have used three boxes of cake mix and that might have been a little too much cake. Maybe. So I used two boxes which made four 9-inch cakes. I stacked them on top of each other and cut the top layer down to be 7-inches. I forget that when you cut a cake the sides get all crumby. Hence the top layer doesn’t look so hot. The icing and I had a bit of a fight at 11pm yesterday.

So anyway, happy birthday, future Mr. Megan Fox. You’re insane, you know that? But you make me laugh. And I very much approve of your love of Batman.

Rum cake or death? Ummm, rum cake, please.

Once upon a time, there was a fair maiden named Picco. Now Picco had a bit of an obsession with alcohol in her food, but don’t be so fast to ship her off to AA, for said alcoholic beverages were always cooked and therefore wouldn’t make her tipsy. With that in mind, she felt less guilty making and devouring dishes with rum and kahlua in them. And then she married Joseph Gordon-Levitt and they lived happily ever after. The end.

Wasn’t that a great story? I’ll tell it again later.

I guess the real story that goes along with this cake is that I had a friend who was absolutely obsessed with it. We made it together all the time, and she demanded that it be her 17th birthday cake. It’s that good. But then life got in the way of things. We stopped being friends, I stopped making this cake, and my jeans started fitting again. So the recipe went back in the front of my mom’s Joy of Cooking with all the other random recipes, and I forgot all about it.

Then the other day, my sister with Celiac was craving cake, and I was about to make her a sour cream coffee cake, when my subconscious said, “Hey, Picco, I have two things to tell you. First, remember that delicious cake with booze in it? And also, what the heck are you wearing? As attractive as those unflattering tan capris (that make you look even shorter than you already are) look with that boys v-neck shirt and your purple hightops, please never wear them together. Ever again.” I pretty much hate my subconscious. And then I remembered rum cake. So I quickly ran over to the Joy of Cooking, grabbed the recipe, and proceeded to weep over it and begged its forgiveness because I had neglected it for far too long. That’s pretty much how things went down.

My favorite part about this cake is that you get to poke a bunch of holes in it. It’s quite entertaining, actually. It really doesn’t take much to entertain me.

If I had to pick one dessert to eat for the rest of my life, this would be it. I’m not sure what makes it so good. I think it’s the rum. Or maybe it’s the extra love I put into it…nope, it’s the rum. Because not only is there rum in the batter, but the glaze is made out of (wait for it) sugar, rum, maybe a little water?, and butter. Why is the rum always gone? (Tia, that one’s for you.)

So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat some rum cake for breakfast, and then cry into it (I do a lot of crying into/over food…) because I have to wait another 31 hours until I see Dark Knight Rises. It’s times like these that makes me wish the alcohol didn’t cook off. Ok, not really. There’s something seriously wrong with me. I’m so sorry you have to put up with me…

Rum Cake

I attempted to make this gluten-free and it turned out…ok. My sister loved it, but it was a little denser than it usually is with regular flour. Next time I’ll mess with the proportions a bit. Whoops, guess I’ll have to make it again. Darn. So here’s the recipe with regular flour. If you want my gluten-free version, email me. True story.

1 box yellow cake mix
1 package (I think it was about 5 ounces) instant vanilla pudding
4 eggs
1/2 cup water+1/2 cup rum (I usually do 1/4 water+3/4 rum, because that makes it that much more delicious).
Touch of orange juice
1/3 cup vegetable oil

1/2 cup sugar
1/4 water (or rum)
1 tablespoon butter

Cake:

Preheat oven to 350F.

Grease and flour and 10″ Bundt pan. Who came up with the word Bundt? I seriously can never get any baking done because I just sit back and laugh at the word Bundt.

Combine all ingredients and beat for 2 minutes (this is seriously the easiest recipe ever). Pour batter into pan.

Bake for 50-60 minutes, checking at 45 minutes. Cake is done with tooth pick inserted about 2 inches from edge comes out cleaner than a Raffi song. Does that even make any sense? Why did I just mention Raffi?

Cool in pan for about 20-30 minutes. Take a knife around the edges to loosen the cake, and then transfer to a plate.

Glaze:

Combine 1/2 cup sugar and 1/4 cup rum (or water) in a small pot. Boil for 3-5 minutes, stirring constantly. Seriously, don’t let this stuff burn. Add 1 tablespoon of butter to the hot syrup and stir to combine.

Poke holes in the top of the cake so glaze can run into it. Drizzle over cake.

Enjoy immensely.

No! I will not hide in the fruit cellar! Ha! You think I’m fruity, huh? Well, maybe the cake I made is…

If you’re reading this, then chances are you can read. Or you’re a high-functioning illiterate, in which case please excuse me whilst I marvel at your brilliance. That made sense to me…

I feel like you and I have a good enough relationship (even though, chances are I’ve never actually met you. Hi, I’m Picco.) and I can tell you my innermost secrets. Here goes: I don’t read. There, I’ve said it. That’s probably not something I should proudly announce to the world, but as of last week it was true. I used to read all the time when I was younger, but being homeschooled (no, I don’t do school in my pajamas), I really haven’t had a “set” highschool reading list, so reading has kind of fallen to the wayside. What books do normal people read in highschool…? My problem is I have a really hard time pretending to be interested in books that bore me (unfortunately, that also applies to not just books, but movies, sports, people, etc.) and I guess I thought I was too “busy” to read. Busy with what? *silence* Now that I think about it, I realize I spend my free time watching mindless/amazing shows like Downton Abbey, Sherlock, Psych, and House, and listening to mindless/amazing music like The Beatles, Queen, and Adam Lambert. Ok, Adam Lambert is the only mindless one. But I’m going to marry that man someday. Once he, you know, breaks up with his boyfriend and stuff….details, details.

So now that I have become a reformed book addict, I’ve been speeding through fantastic books and basically can’t stop reading. Does that qualify me as a dork? No. I don’t watch Dr. Who. Ergo, me=not dork. Although I think using the word ergo is points against me. In the past 5 days I’ve finished Dante’s Inferno, read Catcher in the Rye (pretty much my new favorite book), and I’m halfway done with Brave New World. I kind of have eclectic tastes when it comes to books, obviously. I told my mom last night “Wow, I love reading.” and she gave me the I-can’t-believe-we’re-related look and said “Um, you should…”

I’m reading now. Check. AND I even ordered frames from Target and framed a Damian McGinty poster I’ve had since I bought it at the Celtic Thunder concert a bajillion years ago. Where did this new-found drive to accomplish things come from? But I weirdly haven’t had any appetite for days. I’m pretty sure I’m dying. I think this is the 3rd? 4th? death scare I’ve had this year. Although this isn’t as bad as the lead paint incident a few months back. Remember that? Even though I was only exposed to it for 1/2 hour, and I don’t even think it was lead paint, I still think that it went to my brain and messed me up for good. I’m going to start speaking in Esperanto or something, because that’s what happens when your brain is messed up, right? I’m not sure why I’ve had this weird obsession with Esperanto lately. I blame lead paint.

No appetite, no desire to check blog stats or approve comments, not answering texts or emails. I’m just kind of blah. What’s wrong with me? I decided that I needed a Snap Out of Your Stupid Mood cake. It’s a wonderful cake, really. Marshmallows, fruit (hmmm…I’m still not totally sold on the whole fruit thing. I only eat it because, knowing me, I’d get scurvy. Which might be a better way to croak than from lead poisoning.), and cake. Delicious. And it helped me behave like a normal person again. Ah, the magic of non-healthy food.

I’m usually very proud of my cooking creations, whether they turn out or not, but I’m especially proud of this one. Not only was it my first attempt (AND SUCCESS) at making a yellow cake from scratch, it also is words-can’t-possibly-describe-it good. I was going to follow How Sweet It Is’s recipe exactly for the cake and icing, but I didn’t feel like melting chocolate on the stove to make the icing (lazy with a capital L), so I decided to make a buttercream frosting. Then I remembered buttercream frosting is made with powdered sugar and it always tastes disgusting. Does anyone else notice the weird taste that powdered sugar has? Blech. So I made a marshmallow frosting, which, you know, is pretty awesome. This is a cake to make when you have rediscovered your love for books, or when you’re in a bad mood, or when you have to accept the fact that you and Adam Lambert will never be together. Sigh.

And yes, I did write Picco in blueberries.

Yellow Cake with Marshmallow Frosting

Cake from How Sweet It Is, frosting adapted from some random website. The berries were my own creation. Impressed?

makes two 8-inch layer cakes

Yellow Cake

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup milk

Preheat over to 350 degrees. Sift flour, salt and baking powder together in a bowl and set aside. Can I just say that sifting flour is really annoying?

Beat butter and sugar together in the bowl of an electric mixer until light and fluffy, about 2-3 minutes. Add eggs one at a time, mixing fully until each is combined, then add vanilla. I kinda spaced on the fact that the recipe called for 3 eggs, so I only used 2. But it turned out fine, in case you cared. After the mixture has come together, add in half the of the dry ingredients and mix. Add in the milk, then the rest of the dry ingredients, mixing until just combined.

Pour batter in two 8-inch buttered and floured cake pans. Bake for 23-25 minutes, or until cake is not jiggly (heehee, jiggly…) in the middle and is golden on top. Let cool completely before frosting.

Marshmallow Frosting

32 large marshmallows
3/4 cup COLD butter
2/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla

Place saucepan on burner on LOW heat (I maybe started to burn my marshmallows…I don’t remember…yeah) and combine your 32 marshmallows and 2/3 cup of milk. Allow to heat until marshmallows dissolve then remove from heat. Mix, then set aside, ignore, and go watch House. When you finally remember that you made frosting, it will probably be room temperature, which is what it should be.

On the medium speed setting of your mixer, cream the butter until light and fluffy, like the opposite of the Catcher in the Rye plot.

While still beating the butter, slowly add the marshmallow/milk mixture, and then the vanilla. Mix until thickened.