Spoonlighting: verb. The act of starting a blog in which you would cook your way through The Silver Spoon before the end of high school… and then not actually doing it.

I am finally done with high school, and you know what that means. Not only am I off to college, but I miserably failed the whole “finish The Silver Spoon cookbook before I graduate” thing. But I feel like none of us should really be surprised since I haven’t made anything from it since like forever ago. When I tell my future employers that I’m goal-oriented, should I cross my fingers behind my back?

I leave for college in two months. Isn’t that insane? Remember the 15 year old blogger who had absolutely no idea what she was doing and used too many smiley faces and zero exclamation points? I’ve eased off the smiley faces, but I still detest exclamation points with a passion. When I read things with exclamation points, it’s like I’m about to audition for a Disney Channel show and I’m reading over the script one last time before I throw my life and sanity away. Since I’m off to college, of course I had to register for classes. HAHAHAHAHA it was horrid.

Before I tell you all about my adventures in Class Registration Land, let me first toot my own horn and let you know I was a finalist for a scholarship. I applied for this scholarship months ago and don’t even remember what the prompt was, but I do remember I wrote about my blog. I got a letter from them a few days ago saying that they had too many applicants, but I was still a finalist and I got… a $10 Amazon gift card! An exclamation point was acceptable there because it was fake enthusiasm. Oh well, I’ll take what I can get. If anyone knows about any scholarships for white, middle class girls who aren’t disabled or veterans, whose parents are still together, and who have a hard time writing convincing essays on how much they care about green energy, please forward them to me.

I went to the college last week for orientation to register for classes and other fun stuff. I got up at 4am because my college is about 4 hours away and the day dragged on forever. Of course, I got to register for classes at 3pm that afternoon. So picture me: I’d already been awake for almost 12 hours, I was grumpy, and all I wanted to do was go home and watch some movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt in it. And my college was expecting that model homo sapien to sign up for classes for the first 4 months of her college experience. That plan is almost as good as the time when I had a grass eating competition with my friend. He didn’t end up eating any grass while I went all plague of locust on it. I tell that story all time, so pardon me if you’ve heard it before. I’m just so proud of the fact that I ate disgusting grass. I’m going to be a nurse, and all of the nursing majors were registering for classes at the same time as the biology majors. Aside from an intro to nursing course, guess what the ONE required class for first semester is? No, it’s not Women in Buddhism, although that is one of the classes they offer (Um, what?). It’s biology. AND THE STUPID BIO MAJORS TOOK ALL THE CLASSES. They were opening up the biology classes one seat at a time and basically whoever clicked on the one opening first got the class. It was the most intense clicking I’d ever done. It took me almost an hour just to get a seat, and luckily I ended up with an afternoon class. My psychology class on the other hand is Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 8:30am so far from my dorm that it’s basically in another time zone. I actually might walk into the past on my way to get to it.

Even though it was an incredibly stressful, long day, I’m glad that I have my classes set for the first semester. I’m really happy with how everything’s turning out for me college-wise. I absolutely love my roommate, I’m in the best dorm on campus, and my suitemate is the RA and seems really nice. Aside from the psychology class on another continent, I think my first semester will go well. So now that it’s summer, I’ve decided to start a bucketlist. So far the only things on it are blog 1-2 times a week, finish at least five books, and watch all 6 seasons of Third Rock From the Sun. What can I say, I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Corrupted Brother – who is 4 years old – ate almost all of this quiche. And I have no idea how I made it because I just sort of threw spinach, eggs, milk, and cheese together. Sorry there’s no recipe… just go look at the pictures again. Or watch Angels in the Outfield. Hey, it could happen.

Spoiler alert: I got into nursing school

Ok kids, it’s story time with Grandma Picco, which is awkward since I’m pretty sure I’m younger than a majority of you. No matter. Here’s a story of how yesterday was one of the best days of my life. I remember it like it was yesterday…

Things were going pretty dandily around here. I was home with Sister Celiac and Spiderbaby while my mom was out with the other 4 Italiana children at swimming lessons. I was taking a break from science because my cranium about exploded from writing about the Medulla oblongata. See what I did there? Anyway. I picked up my phone and started looking through my emails. My train of thought went a bit like this: “Hmmm, Pinterest, Pinterest, Pinterest, Mara… ooo… I haven’t read this post. Ugh, she has such amazing clothes. I’ll come back to that. More Pinterest. Maybe I should set it up so I don’t get emails from them every 30 seconds? Nah, it makes me feel popular. Uhhh, Pinterest. Nursing school from the college that I got accepted into. Wait. Nursing school from the college that I got accepted into? What does this say. Dear Picco… so many words… I GOT ACCEPTED.”

Yes, folks, I got accepted into nursing school. Can we please take a moment for a quick round of applause? It still hasn’t really sunk in yet. I never really doubted that I wouldn’t get in because, heh heh, I wrote killer essays for both the college and the nursing school, but I was still a bit nervous. I was so relieved yesterday, though. Remember how I reacted when I got into the college? Yeah, multiply that by about a bazillion. After I read the email about 5 times, I ran downstairs and almost totally wiped out because my happy dance was so spastic. Then, I read/shouted the email to Sister Celiac and shoved the phone in her face and made her read it. Her face was similar to that of a squirrel in the middle of the road that just sort of stands there until you get close, and then it runs back the way it came from. Squirrels are scary creatures.

Speaking of iPhones (we were talking about them, right?), I’ve been pushing for one lately since the battery of my current phone lasts barely longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage. Basically it dies in 4 hours. I’ve also worked out a nice speech every time I bring up me wanting one. Today I presented it to my mom and said, “So, when I leave, I still want to blog and take pictures. If I get an iPhone, I can take great pictures and you won’t have to buy me a digital camera!” She was unfazed. The problem is that I also need a new laptop since the bottom of mine is currently being attached to the computer by pink Hello Kitty duct tape. Another problem is I’m a die hard Mac lover and need a MacBook. I’m such a loving, hard working daughter who would be eternally grateful if I got a new computer as a graduation present… Was that subtle enough?

And I shall end with a random story. I’m all about stories today, huh? I requested that we get sushi tonight as a celebratory yay-the-last-14-years-of-schooling-have-not-been-all-for-naught-since-you-got-into-college dinner. I was eating it and I don’t even remember what I was saying because I was focusing too much on how I haven’t had sushi in forever and really loved it, and apparently I just kept talking. At the end of my rambling, Sister Celiac turned to me and bluntly said, “Ergo, shut up.” I would have been annoyed, but how many other 13 year olds can use the word ergo correctly? I come from an awesome family.

I am absolutely exhausted right now from all the sushi and from reading my acceptance letter too many times (today I got a hard copy in the mail. YAY!). I think I’m going to go read over the list of dorms again even though I submitted the housing application less than an hour after I received it. Can you tell I’m excited? So here’s the recipe. Sorry I’m not typing it up…

Chicken Gyros from Annie’s Eats. I love that woman.

Also, these are 100% gluten free, minus the pita part obviously. Sister Celiac should stop making snarky comments if she wants me to ever make these for her again.

My uneventful last day on the earth. Thank you, doomsday, for making me seem incredibly boring.

As of right now it’s 10:04pm on Tuesday, December 20, 2012. Although by the time I actually post this it’ll probably be like midnight because I always reread my posts between 1 and 57 times so I can fix the typos. Also because I make myself laugh with my writing. Sorry for tooting my own horn. I’ll counter it by pointing out that I have officially failed the whole December photo challenge. See? Look how humble I am.

So, what did you all do on this fine last day on the planet? Here’s a list of things I accomplished today:

Slept in until almost 10am.

Finished some data entry I was doing for my aunt.

Realized that I never, ever want to be an accountant.

Helped my brother stir the chocolate chip cookie batter he made. So. Exciting.

Played Hay Day on my mom’s iPad. I’m ashamed that I’m addicted to that game, and I’m even more ashamed that Sister Celiac keeps going on it and using up all my money. ALL I WANT TO DO IS SAVE UP TO BUY A STUPID BOAT.

Recreated the food I made with my friend the first time I ever went to her house. It was about 3 years ago and her family completely intimidated me (not sure why…). I was so nervous, but right when I got there my friend was like let’s go to the store and get some broccoli. So she and I made these broccoli cheese meat things wrapped up in crescent rolls. I’m pretty sure it was at that moment that I realized our love of weird food would make us inseparable. Wasn’t that a beautiful story? Anyway, I left out the broccoli part tonight because I was too lazy to see if we had any frozen broccoli in the basement.

Rehearsed for midnight mass. The orchestra I’m in at church is pretty lame. There are 3 violinist (two of which are Sister Celiac and I), and two cellists (one of whom is Future Chef). My mom used to play in it too, so it was pretty much the Italiana Family Orchestra. But for the mass, the choir director hired 3 more violinists, a violist, a cellist, a double bass..ist? trumpeter..ists, and there might have been drums. I don’t know. It was so cold in the church that I think my brain froze. It was absolutely beautiful with the whole choir singing and the orchestra playing, and I think I have frostbite.

Also, here are some conversations I’ve had with various siblings lately. I really have nothing to talk about here, but I figured I’d blog one last time before, you know, we all die and stuff.

Brute Sister: haha, JK.
Me: Do you even know what JK stands for?
Brute: Uh, yeah. Joe Kelly. (In case you were wondering, along with Yadier Molina, Joe Kelly is my favorite baseball player. I may or may not have a picture of him as the background for my laptop. And phone. And I wrote him a love letter that I’m going to send. And we wonder why I scare people…)
Me: …uhhh…?
Brute: Speaking of Joe Kelly, what would you do if he came up to you and was like “Hey, you’re gorgeous. Let’s get married.”

And then she walked away. It was the weirdest 15 seconds of my life.

Me: Goodnight, Corrupted Brother.
CB: Goodnight… Hey, Picco?
Me: Yes?
CB: Am I from Canada?
Me: No…
CB: Oooohhhh. That’s weird. Let’s shake hands and I’ll go to sleep.

Ok, I lied. That was the weirdest 15 seconds of my life.

Hey, it’s only 11:34. I got this done quicker than I thought, and I even got sidetracked looking at pictures of Joe Kelly. But I’d better get to sleep because I’m waking up tomorrow at 5 so I can witness the end of the world at 5:11. I’ll take a picture for you guys of the meteor or Planet X or whatever that’s supposed to crash into earth. Honestly, I’m not worried about the world ending tomorrow. I’ve lived through 28 doomsday predictions so far, and that’s not even counting the zombie apocalypse that was supposed to happen last year. Besides, the world isn’t allowed to end yet. At least not until I watch season 3 of Downton Abbey. Then it has my permission to end. Because not only do I make myself laugh, but I also control the fate of the earth. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with me? Exactly.

Gluten-free Crustless Spinach+Bacon Quiche

Adapted from a recipe on AllRecipes

1/2 cup butter (One. Whole. Stick)
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 small onion, chopped
1 pound bacon, thawed, cooked, and chopped
1 (10 ounce) package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained
1 (4.5 ounce) can mushrooms, drained
1 (6 ounce) package herb and garlic feta, crumbled
1 (8 ounce) package shredded Cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste

4 eggs, beaten
1 cup milk
salt and pepper to taste

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

2. In a medium skillet, melt butter over medium heat. Saute garlic and onion in butter until lightly browned, about 7 minutes. Stir in bacon, spinach, mushrooms, feta and 1/2 cup Cheddar cheese. Season with salt and pepper.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs and milk. Season with salt and pepper. Pour into a pie dish and stir to thoroughly combine the egg mixture with the spinach mixture.

4. Bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes. Sprinkle top with remaining Cheddar cheese, and bake an additional 35 to 40 minutes, until set in center. Allow to stand 10 minutes before serving.

5. Just kidding. Eat immediately and happily suffer through the 3rd degree burns you’ll get in your mouth, because this recipe is so dang delicious.

Just an introvert girl living in a loud world.

You know what’s wrong with the world? People don’t think before they speak.

The other day Sister Celiac was talking to a girl about my new brother. The girl asked, “So, how’s your baby brother?” When my sister said that he’s great, the girl said, “Oh cool. Is there anything wrong with him?”

I’m sorry, what? What if he was born with three arms and we were going to have one surgically removed but didn’t want anyone to know about it? My sister isn’t even KIND OF friends with this girl, so why should she tell her, “Well, we’re not really telling anyone, but he’s actually a monkey.” Oh great, now you guys know our secret. This is awkward.

I know quite a few people that I simply can’t have a normal conversation with. Now granted, most of them are teenagers, but I’m not sure how good of an excuse that is. A good conversation consists of asking questions and telling stories, right? If I’m ever talking to one of those people, the conversation is just them talking over me and bragging or making stupid comments. They always feel the need to one-up me in everything. I once had a guy ask me how long I’ve played violin. When I told him 14 years, he immediately told me how he’s played for 6 years and had already learned Mozart’s hardest concerto. Dear Child Prodigy, as my dad always says, “If you have to tell me how great you are, you’re not.” Also, I heard you play and I’m not going to comment on it because I have nothing nice to say.

Better yet is when people don’t just say rude things, but actually do rude things. I can ignore the girl who told me my legs were so big she had no idea how I could fit them into my skinny jeans (When I’m around that girl I have to use every nice molecule in my body to restrain myself from kicking her in the shins. I’ve been successful so far…), but when you forcefully take a drink out of my hand telling me how bad it is for me, then we have a problem.

I’ll admit that I’m very quiet. I’m not as shy as I used to be, but I’m definitely an introvert, and apparently there’s something wrong with that. There’s nothing I hate more than being told I’m quiet. Ok, maybe I hate it second to running my hip into the corner of a table. You do not know pain until you do that. When people tell me I’m quiet I just want to be like, “NO. WAY. I seriously had no idea. Thank you so much for enlightening me,” but I don’t because, hello, introvert. Don’t really talk much. I actually used to get really upset over it. Sometimes to the point of tears. I’m not sure exactly what made (and still sort of makes) me so upset. What I’ve sort of figured out is that since our world is so loud and no one can sit still, I’m the outcast because I’m not dominating a conversation or wanting to party every Friday night or constantly flirting with guys. Because, you know, as if I don’t have a hard enough time fitting in as is. One of the many pros of being introverted is that I think before I speak. Actually, I over-think and run through what I’m going to say 5 times in my head and by the time I’m comfortable to say it, the topic has already changed. Oh well. Better to be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt, right?

Not to go all psychology on you guys, but what do you think causes people to feel like they can say whatever they want? Is it a lack of manners? Class? Or just insecurity? Or maybe the world just needs more introverts. I’d be totally chill with that.

Also, I used to collect those white pieces of paper at the bottom of Reece’s peanut butter cups. I was a weird kid.

Halloween Candy Cookies

(This recipe is from the back of the box. More or less. I added the candy bit because we have so much Halloween candy left over.)

1 package King Arthur gluten free cookie mix

1/2 cup soft butter

1 large egg

2 tablespoons water

8 frozen Reece’s peanut butter cups, chopped

1/2 cup M&Ms

1.Preheat the oven to 350F.

2. Put about half the cookie mix in a bowl, and beat in the butter. It’s especially fun to beat the butter with the arm you got a flu shot in. Yeah.

3. Beat in the remaining cookie mix, scraping the sides and bottom of the bowl. Add the Reece’s peanut butter cups and M&Ms.

4. Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheet, leaving about 2″ between cookies. Gently squish cookies 1/2″ thick. Ok, it said flatten on the box, but I definitely squished the cookies.

5. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Remove from oven and let cookies cool on the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a rack to cool completely.

6. Devour. Om nom nom.

This post is in no way sponsored by King Arthur, but I wish it was. Please. I’m not asking for much. Maybe just a few boxes of your cookie mixes or some money. I’d definitely enjoy money.

There’s never a dull moment when you have little brothers

Being the oldest of 6 (soon to be 7), I have a lot of odd things said to me on a daily basis, especially from my brothers. I obviously feel the need to tell you about them, so prepare to be amused/weirded out.

A few days ago I was just sitting on my bed when my engineer-brained freaky genius slightly evil scientist-like brother came in. This brother is known for pondering things and saying stuff that makes you go, “…wait, what?” He explained light refraction the other day. And he’s half my age. I’m not sure why my siblings feel like they can just barge into my room, but they do. So anyway, he looked at my wall and saw all the concert tickets I have taped to it. He asked, “Have you been to all of those concerts?” When I said yes, he exclaimed, “WOW! You’re the most interesting person I know! You sure know how to brighten up a room.” I just sat there dumbfounded while he turned to leave. On his way out he looked at my money jar labeled Ireland Fund and said, “You really think you’re gonna go to Ireland, huh? Because I don’t.” And walked out. I don’t even know where to begin with this…

Speaking of weird, let me give you the down-low of the conversation that went on in my head the other day:

Dum dee dum dum dum. I’m hungry. Ha, when am I not hungry? Exactly. I need to go scout out some food. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller…NO. That song will never get out of my head. Oooo, maybe I’ll have a peach. You’re insecure, don’t know what for…HEY, I JUST MET YOU, AND THIS IS CRAZY. Ugh. Why does my brain have it’s own soundtrack…? Gross, this peach has a rotten part on it. I need to cut it off. I think sodas need to come with a straw so when you’re trying to sip the last bit of it you don’t have to do an awkward backbend to get it. Yeah, that’s a great idea that I may or may not have stolen from Marie. I guess while I’m cutting off the gross part, I should just slice up the whole thing. Whoops, text from Kait. Must. Ignore. It. Well…ok, I have to respond. Oh, she’s just quoting Napoleon Dynamite. Never mind. Back to the peach. *slice slice slice* Wait, what the…HOLY ASTRINGENT PEACH-LIKE FRUIT, BATMAN. THAT’S A WORM.*

Yes, there was a disgusting worm in my peach. Worm. In something I was about to devour. Saying I was traumatized is an understatement. I still feel like I have bugs crawling on me.

*Side note, “Holy Astringent Plum-like Fruit, Batman” was actually a phrase uttered by Robin in the old Batman tv show. The writers on that show had serious issues.

Evil scientist brother explained to me the difference between cupcakes and muffins. “Cupcakes are just cake with frosting on top, while muffins are delicious pastries filled with fruit or chocolate.” Thanks for clearing that up.

Corrupted brother was looking at my dog Gemma and said to me, “When mommy’s new baby, Spiderbaby, is born, I think we need to shoot Gemma because she bites people.” I explained to him that he was insane and she’s never bitten anyone. After thinking about it for a second he said, “Maybe at Christmas after Santa gives us presents he’ll go STICK YOUR HANDS UP, GEMMA, shoot her, and leave.”

I could continue, but this post is getting long.

I love having brothers.

Ground Beef+Vegetable Casserole

Adapted from here

1lb ground beef
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of chicken soup (I used cream of mushroom and the world didn’t explode, so don’t feel confined to only using cream of chicken.)
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can milk
1 (8 ounce) package of noodles. The original recipe called for egg noodles, but the only noodles we have in this house are spaghetti and penne. Obviously, I used penne.
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 cup shredded cheese

Brown ground beef in a large pot. I really hate cooking with meat because I’m always scared it’s not going to be cooked all the way and I’m going to poison my family. Valid fear…right?

Drain fat off and season meat with onion powder, salt, and pepper. After browning, add cream of chicken soup; mix well. Add one soup can full of milk and mix well.

Simmer on low 25 minutes.

Mix in cooked and drained noodles and transfer this to a baking dish.

Top with shredded cheese.

Bake the casserole covered in 325° oven for 25 to 30 minutes, and uncover for the last 10 minutes.

Enjoy.

Oh, and I just threw in some random frozen vegetables. You pretty much have to sneak vegetables into foods around here. Even with me…