Have you ever wondered what goes on in a typical day in my life? If you have, then you’re kind of creepy. But if you have wondered in a non-creepy way, you’re in luck. I documented my entire day today on a Netflix envelope. Enough said.
Here’s a glimpse of what goes on in a typical day:
6:29 I had a dream that I was making scrambled eggs and for some reason I needed to add paprika. Just as I’m adding the paprika, my alarm clock went off and I dumped the entire bottle of it on the eggs. These are the things I dream about.
6:30 Woke up in a grumpy mood. Obviously.
6:31 Resolved to get out of bed and start the day.
7:00 Half-asleep I finally got up and got dressed wearing the same dress that I’ve worn the last 3 days. In my defense I bought it from Urban Outfitters and it was originally $70 but I got it for $30, so I’m very proud of my purchase. And it has pockets. Gotta love pockets.
7:30 Half-asleep I remembered that there were peaches that were overripe sitting in a brown bag on the kitchen counter, so I decided to make peach crisp. I googled some recipes and begin making it.
7:55 Half-asleep I took a break from preparing the crisp to eat a piece of gum, and 5 seconds into it it started to taste like vaporub.
8:26 Half-asleep (it takes me a while to wake up…) I finally got the crisp into the oven and began preparing a hearty breakfast for my siblings and me: cereal. We go all out over here.
9:17 Took crisp out of oven, stared at it, and wondered if it’s supposed to be brown. I ignored the fact that it looked disgusting and ate it anyway.
9:45 Went on Amazon to buy screen protectors for my phone, and then got sidetracked looking at Psych, The Beatles, and House merchandise. Amazon has an awesome Psych sweatshirt, in case you were wondering.
10:20 Looked at local colleges to start applying to and almost passed out from how insanely expensive they are. I sound like my mom, but it’s true.
11:34 Started a math packet that my lovely ACT tutor gave me (no, she really is lovely). I may or may not have been reviewing Algebra 1…hey, I got a 34 on the reading part of the ACT and I got a…uhhh…less than 34 on math. We all have our strengths, right?
12:12 Ate yet another hearty meal, but this time it was guacamole. Just guacamole. Well, and some chips, but I ate 2 avocados worth of guac. 
1:27 Texted my friend to see if she is free this weekend. I texted her meaning to say “Chillax this weekend? Wanna go shopping?” but autocorrect decided that I AM a felon and changed shopping to shoplifting. Luckily we’re good enough friends that she texted back “totes chill with me, broski.” and seemed unfazed. Thank goodness for people who understand me.
2:57 Looked through the pockets of my dress and pulled out a comb, 2 gum wrappers, a pencil, some bobby pins, and a St. Louis Cardinals 2012 schedule. All of this accumulated just from today. How.
4:19 Read some more Dante’s Inferno. I started that book a few days ago and I seriously haven’t been able to put it down. I’m going to have to get a hip holster to carry it or something. Or I could just finish it and move on. Decisions decisions.
4:24 Had another piece of disgusting vaporub gum. I need serious help.
4:39 Attempted to do some more ACT work
4:42 Gave up
6:40 Ate a hearty dinner of gluten-free peanut noodles. That might have been the most substantial thing I’ve eaten all day. I guess you could count the peach crisp as substantial since it had a stick of butter and a cup of sugar on top of it. And it had fruit. That’s the whole food pyramid right there. Oh, and I had a carrot earlier. I’m set.
7:19 Started cleaning out my brothers’ closet with my mom and sister. Why are boys so…the opposite of tidy? Since I’m really awful at organizing, my job was to put the clothes my sister and mom gave to me into bags, and to draw on the bags. Drawing on the bags was an unspoken command from my mom, because she knows how well I draw stick people and snowflakes all over trash bags. It’s a talent, I know.
9:13 Looked at my newest copy of InStyle magazine and saw the most amazing haircut ever. This:
I’m getting it. Like, now. I’m seriously making my mom set up an appointment tomorrow so the cool chick who cuts my hair can work her cosmetologist skills magic stuff. I figure if I don’t like it (which, psh, how could I not?), it can grow out enough for my senior pictures. Or I can have a really wonky senior picture, which might actually be funny.
10:20 Watched some Alfred Hitchcock Presents with my sister. That guy was so weird and so cool at the same time…next to George Harrison, Christian Bale, and Adam Richman, my man Albert is my hero.
Now: Blogging while eating Moose Tracks ice cream. My eyes are repelling against my contacts and I’m having a hard time seeing, but I’m too lazy to take them out because I’m thoroughly enjoying my ice cream. You know, priorities.
So that’s my life. Pretty uneventful. But I keep things interesting by listening to really loud Italian opera and eating oreos sporadically throughout the day. Speaking of, this weekend I shall marry (Mawage. Mawage is what bwings us togeda today.) Oreos and Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups to create one amazing cookie/thing, and then dip them in chocolate. Of course you’ll be getting the DL complete with pictures. Prepare to start drooling.
