Thank you, Mr. Hitchcock, for making me scared of absolutely everything

I love Alfred Hitchcock movies. Like LOVE love. I could easily watch all of them all day. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of watching The Birds last night. Mistake #1: watching it at night.  Not only was I scared out of my mind, but I was over at my grandma’s sleeping in a dark room. By myself. Just waiting for birds to swarm in through the windows and vents to attack me. The Alfred Hitchcock movies have a way of making me scared of things that really aren’t that scary. So now I’m terrified of showers, crop dusters, windows, the number 39, and now birds. Great.

Luckily, Hitchcock didn’t have time to make a movie about bacon-wrapped chicken coming alive and taking over the world. And if he did, please don’t tell me about it until all the leftovers from tonight have been eaten. But anyway, I was skimming through The Silver Spoon the other day looking for edible things and I came across a recipe called Chicken Roulades with Sage. So basically, chicken wrapped with pancetta and a sage leaf, held together with a toothpick. Seemed good enough, so that’s what I made tonight. Pancetta is disgustingly expensive so I opted for bacon. Bacon is so much tastier anyway! ;) And, like a dummy, I forgot to check and see if we had dried sage, since I didn’t get any fresh sage from the store. Shockingly, we didn’t. So its understudy, thyme, took its place. I didn’t hit the chicken with a mallet like the recipe said to (the closest thing we had to a food mallet was a sledgehammer and as tempting as that is…) and I didn’t serve the chicken with a radicchio salad. So, pretty much, I didn’t follow the recipe. Not that I ever really do.

As for my critique of this recipe, it didn’t wow me. It was definitely good (bacon and chicken. Um hello, yum), but I didn’t eat it and, with tears of joy rolling down my face, scream out, “WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!”. Instead, I ate it and went “Eh.” Maybe something I’d make again. After I calm down from the fact that chicken is a bird and now it’s out to get me.

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6 thoughts on “Thank you, Mr. Hitchcock, for making me scared of absolutely everything

  1. Picco,

    I have to agree, no I don’t have to, I want to agree with the precious caller, commenter or poster. Your latest post is your bestest.

    You have conveyed your love of the Hitchcock cinema genre every well. Alfred would probably roll over (hopefully not rise up) in his grave (a reference to the “Harry” movie by Hitchcock) exuding much happiness that you are a fan. I am sure that you are aware that AH makes cameo appearances in his movies.

    Some people like bacon well done, but others like it medium rare—just like you have prepared it. Some people like to read narratives that are well done—just like the one you have prepared.

  2. Lady M,

    There is a first time for everything and I am very happy that you are my first introduction to the fine art of a blogotroduction. It is my extreme pleasure to make your acquaintance. I look forward to your future comments.

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