Two words: Spaghetti. Tacos.

Mondays. The worst day to spend 1/7 of your life. Actually, Mondays are ok-ish. It’s Tuesdays that kill me. The weekend has a wonderful way of making me forget just how harsh the weekdays are. So I’m like “eh, it can’t be as bad as I remember.” But by Tuesday, I’m writhing on the floor screaming “IT’S EXACTLY LIKE I REMEMBER!!!!” Nah, I’m joking. It’s not that bad. Monday’s over and we’re all still sane (well, at least I am). I think we all deserve some brownie points! Or real brownies. Take your pick.

It’s been pretty slow around here lately. My mom’s been under the weather, which means I’m in Mom-Mode. Being in Mom-Mode means no time for me to cook like I want to. Not cooking means no yummy food. No yummy food means grumpy me. Grumpy me means stress for my mom. It’s all one vicious cycle that doesn’t include good food, which makes it that much worse. Needless to say, I needed to break that cycle. So I opted for something random and delicious. What did I come up with? Spaghetti tacos. No joke, they’re real.

Surprisingly, they turned out ok. I made them with gluten-free rice noodles so my sister could eat them, and I kind of had my doubts about that. But if you dump some sauce and 2 pounds of ground beef on something, chances are it’ll taste good. So that’s what I did. It’s the combination of the hard, crunchy taco shell with the squishy (for lack of a better adjective) noodles that makes it so good. They were definitely something I’d make again, even if they were a little weird. But hey, sometimes you need weird just to keep things interesting, right?

It’s the end of the world as we know it. Maybe…

Congratulations on surviving The Rapture :) Apparently that preacher dude was just trying to psych us out, because now the real end of the world is OCTOBER 21st. DUH! Silly us. But that’s a whole 5 months away. I don’t know if I can handle that much suspense. And that was sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell.

Also, happy belated birthday to my amazing, wonderful, beautiful (I’m running out of descriptive adjectives…) mom! She turned 39. Again.  She was fine when we were at Ted Drews (with some of my favorite people on the planet) last Sunday, but later in the day she got this weird fever and has been in bed since then. My poor mom :( So I’ve pretty much been running the house. Yes, thank you, thank you :) Actually I don’t know how good of a job I’m doing if I’m sitting here blogging…hmmm….

My dad’s brother visited last week and tried to one-up me (and not the Mario Bros. green mushroom kind) in the cooking department. He cooked pretty much every meal and all I could do was eat it and apologize to my diet for the carb overload. I figured I’d post some pictures of the food, even though I didn’t make it. But I did take the pictures AND eat it, so it’s pretty much the same thing as making it, right?Which one’s gluten free, hmmmm???? Aside from the fact that if you scroll over them, one of the pictures is titled “gluten free lasagna”, you’d never be able to tell!!!!! MUAHAHAHA!!! *ehem* Moving on….This was some of the best curry I’ve ever had. Unfortunately, I couldn’t quite capture the deliciousness of it. This was the least gross-looking picture I had. Sorry.Actually, I don’t give myself enough credit, I did make one thing this week. I call it….wait for it….Yogurt with Cucumber and Dill! Guess what’s in it? I sort of improved a recipe using 1/2 cup plain yogurt, 1/2 a cucumber and some dill. It was so good, the only picture I got of it was when it was almost gone :)

Ok, I’ll stop talking, but one last thing. Did anyone seriously think the world was going to end May 21st? I want honest answers from you people. Don’t we all know it’s going to end in 2012? I mean, they even made a movie about it. How much more proof do we need?! Gosh. ;)

My (hilarious) Saturday night with Brian Regan

Can I just say something? Brian Regan is an absolute genius. Not only is he brilliant, he’s also hilarious. Or as some people say HI.LAR.I.OUS. Seriously, if you don’t know who he is, how can you have lived with yourself for so long without him in your life?! Go Google him. Now. *side note* There is another guy also named Brian Regan who is in prison for being a spy. I don’t think his comedy sketches are as funny as this Brian Regan, so don’t bother with him.

Actually, just watch this.

I was lucky enough to score front row tickets to the non-spy Brian Regan show last Saturday night. How did I get such amazing seats, you ask? The tickets went on sale at 10am back in March. I spent from 9:55-10:00am blankly staring at the website and clicking refresh, waiting for them to go on sale. Annoying and a total waste of my time, but hey, I was front row, DEAD CENTER. Me=happy :) Let me give you a run down of what happened on possibly one of the best nights of my young life so far:

The (totally un)Official Brian Regan 2011 Tour Review

Mr. Regan is funny. Blah blah blah. If you want his bio, go look him up. On to Saturday! He was giving 2 shows at The Pageant, since us Saint Louisans love him so much. My mom, dad, sister and I went to the 7pm show, which was kind of a bummer because they had to rush us out as soon as it was over to get ready for the 9:30pm show. Which means I couldn’t gawk at the stage after it was over thinking “Woah, Brian Regan…was…there…so close….woah…”. Well I mean, I still did, but I had to be speedy. His younger brother Dennis did a 20 minute opening act for him. He was pretty funny, but seemed a little awkward. Not that I didn’t enjoy him, but I was kind of like “Bring out Brian…please…I’m here for Brian, not you…”. So 7:30-ish, Brian finally comes out. As soon as he starts talking I’m like GAH!!! *smacks forehead* I watched this skit on youtube earlier today! Most of his skits came from his All By Myself CD, which I was listening to that day to pass the time. Stupid idea. He had a few new things, but I could recite most of the show word-for-word along with him. As funny as he is, he seemed a little stiff and forced, probably because he’s been reciting the exact same thing every night for weeks. The only part where I was actually dying laughing was when he was talking about porridge and someone yelled out “UPS!” to get him to do his UPS skit. He started laughing, said he’d do it at the end and then he lost his train of thought. So someone next to my dad tried to help him and said “Ummm, porridge…” and he did this whole improv thing about lame porridge jokes. Ok, it was funnier if you were actually there. So summing things up, he was funny as always, but not as funny as he is in his DVDs and CDs, but still AMAZING!!!!!!! :)

Food-wise, the other night I was feeling uninspired and had a 4 lb. frozen chicken. Bad combination. So, using some random recipe I found, I adapted it and created….THIS.

If you’re wondering why there’s some meat missing from the left side of the chicken, it’s because I wasn’t fast enough with my camera. And SOME PEOPLE are really impatient/hungry. For once, it wasn’t me. But the recipe is seriously really good and if you are ever stuck with a chicken and a crock pot, I’d recommend using it. And I’m not just saying that because I created it.

Easy Chicken Crockpot Recipe

  • 1-1/2 tablespoons salt
  • 1 teaspoon paprika
  • 1 teaspoon onion powder
  • 1 teaspoon thyme
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 1 whole roasting chicken, about 5 pounds (frozen or thawed, it’s up to you. I used frozen and it turned out amazingly)

In a small bowl, combine spices together. Remove any giblets from inside and clean chicken. Rub spice mixture onto chicken. Add chicken to crockpot. I bet you’re thinking WHAT?!! No liquids?! Nope. There will be plenty of chicken juice by the end of it… ;) Ew. Anyway… Cook on low 6 hours if thawed or 6-8 if frozen. Since all crockpots are different, cut into the chicken and see if juices run clear towards the end of the cooking time.

That’s it. It’s easy and delicious. Two of my favorite adjectives.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels…except for cake. But skinny’s a close second.

You can just call me Dr. Picco. Why you ask? Because I diagnosed myself today. I have CED-Constant Eating Disorder (which I thought was pretend until I just googled it…). I eat pretty much 24/7, whether I’m hungry or not. And when I’m truly hungry, I’m like “I’M GOING TO DIE!!! I NEED FOOD!” I finally noticed I need to change my eating habits when I was on my 4th rib a few nights ago and I realized I don’t even like ribs. So as of a few days ago, I am on Atkins. *pause for laughter*

My mom and I are having a competition to see who can lose the most weight by June 9th.  We’re both scarily competitive, so I’m not sure this is the best idea. We might both end up like Kate Moss by the end of it…

My friend’s family raises cows. Long story short, we were lucky (is that the right word?) enough to purchase 1/2 a cow. Only problem was it kept falling over *ba dum bum chh* :) Ahh, I’m sorry. It’s too early for me to be funny/enjoyable… but anyway, we have the meat from 1/2 a cow in our basement. You know what gets boring? Beef 5x a week. There are only so many ways you can make beef interesting. So I tried to shake things up and make hamburgers. I’m not entirely sure how exactly that “shook things up”, but hey, I tried.

I kind of improved my own recipe and it actually turned out ok. I mixed 2 pounds of ground beef with 2-ish tablespoons of lemon pepper seasoning, some Worcestershire sauce and BOOM, instant deliciousness. Well, instant deliciousness after I cooked them.

But do you know the BEST part about being on a diet? You can hardly eat anything!!!!!! This was my dinner:

*insert depressed face*

Avocados Anonymous

Hello, I’m Piccola Italiana.
*everybody in unison* “Hi Picco.”
And I am an Avocado Addict.

It’s true. I’m a bit obsessed with avocados. And obsessed is an understatement. If there was no chance of me getting super hugely fat off of them, I’d eat only avocados for the rest of my life.

I love when I look in our fridge and see food that I’m pretty sure wasn’t there 5 minutes earlier. Today’s magically appearing food was an avocado. Perfectly ripe and everything. I kind of glanced around to see if the Food Fairy was still lurking in the kitchen…

I don’t really have a guacamole recipe that I follow (I have a way of ignoring instructions, recipes, commands etc.), so I just combined an avocado, cilantro and some lime juice. Sheer deliciousness.

But aside from eating avocados, this is what I do with my time.

Yes, I color pictures of The Little Mermaid. Except I messed up on Ariel’s mouth. Don’t look at it. I SAID DON’T LOOK! Jeez.

Soooo, one of these days I am going to get back to The Silver Spoon of Grossness. Probably once school settles down for the summer. It’s kind of hard to call my adoring fans Spoonatics where there’s no spoon involved, huh?