So no one told me cookies were gonna taste this way *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

I’ve had the Friends’ theme song going through my head for a good week now. I’ve never even seen an episode of Friends, and the song just popped into my head for no reason. Now it won’t leave. I might go bonkers, to say the least.

Now that it’s officially almost Christmas, I can start making Christmas cookies. Although it’s felt like Christmas for the past month and half. Two of my favorite radio stations have played the same four Christmas songs since before Halloween, so I’m stuck listening to the 70’s music station. Worst. Genre. Ever. Hey, I’m just saying what I know you are all thinking.

But now that it’s two weeks from Christmas, it’s time for cookies! WOOHOO! So, put on your England shirt (I know I have mine on), turn on Straight No Chasers’ Christmas album, and let’s start making some cookies!

First cookies of the season were Lemon Crinkle cookies.

I tend to think I’m Martha Stewart sometimes, and I adapt recipes and then assume they’ll turn out ok. Sometimes they turn out. Most of the time they don’t. And sometimes they almost turn out. Exhibit A of almost turning out? These cookies.

I made them gluen-free and they didn’t flatten. So if you like delicious, gooey cookies, make the recipe using normal flour. If you like more chewy,…non-flat…(but still delicious) cookies use gluten-free flour. It’s up to you. And remember, no matter which option you pick, I’ll be there for you (’cause you’re there for me too).

The only problem with the beginning of cookie making season is that I want to make every single cookie. Ever. But my stomach is like GIVE ME COOKIES, while my brain is like ha, oh no you don’t. So my brain is a meany-head (literally?) and doesn’t remember the recipes I want to make. I saw a recipe for gingerbread cookies that looked amazing, and now I can’t remember where I saw it.  This is what happens when the only emails you get are newsletters from food-related blogs, and the only books you read are cookbooks. Well, cookbooks and Fahrenheit 451. Can I just say that book has the worst ending in the history of ever? I finished it today and it was depressing.

I’m done talking about books, let’s go back to these cookies. They actually turned out pretty well. I made two batches and I found that if you make them bigger (about a heaping tablespoon-full) and then let them continue cooking while they cool, they’re more squishy, for lack of a better word. The smaller ones were too crunchy for my taste. And, don’t you know, I have impeccable taste. I have such a distinguished palate that I ate almost an entire pound of bacon the other day. Unfortunately, when you tell people this, they ask you if you’re on Atkins. How do you answer that question without saying “No! Diets are stupid. I just love bacon” ? Awkward.

So what cookies have you made/are you going to make this year? I have white chocolate macadamia nut cookies on the mind. And possibly something with chocolate and peanut butter. And GINGERBREAD, but I still can’t remember where I saw the dumb recipe for them.

Ugh, and my dog just sneezed on my computer screen. *sigh* It’s like I’m always stuck in 2nd gear.

Lemon Crinkle Cookies
Adapted from here

Makes about 2 dozen cookies

½ cups butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
½ teaspoons vanilla extract
1 whole egg
1 Tablespoon fresh lemon juice
¼ teaspoons salt
¼ teaspoons baking powder
⅛ teaspoons baking soda
1-½ cup all-purpose flour
½ cups powdered sugar
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease dark baking sheets with non-stick cooking spray and set aside. If you’re using lighter baking sheets, add on about two extra minutes of baking time

In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar together. Whip in vanilla, egg, and lemon juice. Scrape sides and mix again. In a separate bowl, combine all dry ingredients (excluding the powdered sugar) together. Slowly add the flour mixture to the butter/sugar, and mix until just combined. Scrape sides of bowl and mix again briefly. Pour powdered sugar onto a large plate. Roll a heaping tablespoon of dough into a ball and roll in powdered sugar until fully coated. Place on baking sheet and repeat with remaining dough.

Bake for 9-11 minutes or until edges begin to barely brown and cookies look matte (not melty or shiny). Remove from oven and cool cookies for about 3 minutes before transferring to cooling rack.

*If you want to make these gluten-free, use a gluten-free flour and make sure to use 1 teaspoon of xanthan gum so they don’t go all crumbly on you.

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19 thoughts on “So no one told me cookies were gonna taste this way *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

  1. a) i love straight no chaser’s christmas album,
    b) my stomach is like GIVE ME COOKIES all the time, which has been difficult, and lastly,
    c) when you threw in the line from the song, i outright chuckled.

    • Isn’t it great? My friend recently gave it to me and it’s pretty much been on repeat the past few days :)

      Gahhh, same here. I’m not going to step on the scale until the beginning of spring.

      I wish I could just chuckle. My laugh is like a dying seal mixed with an engine starting. Which is annoying, because I love to laugh. Oh well. What can you do other than be totally awesome?

  2. Mmm lemon cookies! I tried to make lemon bars today, but the mix I had was old and rotten. (gross + smelly)THEN I made chocolate and I totally messed up the icing. Whateves, chocolate :)

    “Bake for 9-11” <–um, HAHA!

    I can't believe you didn't like the ending!! I think I liked, I actually don't remember how I felt. Obviously a sign I need to read it again.

    P.s. Your laugh is cool.

    • Have you ever had chocolate covered bacon? I feel like we’ve talked about this. Did I have this conversation with you…or with myself? Anyway, I haven’t tried it yet (because I’m chicken. bawk), but I’m thinking next Wednesday I’m just going to bring a pound of chocolate covered bacon. Just to see who freaks out.

      *eyeroll* I didn’t say bake until your cookies look like terrorists. Do you want me to change it? I can say “Bake for 9-11 minutes…unless you’re Marie. Then just sit at home making gross expired lemon bars whilst I make homemade gluten-free lemon cookies from scratch. OOOHHH, BURN.” ;)

      The last 20 pages were like…what? I would have liked the ending, but things moved too fast. And then *SPOILER ALERT*, kaboom. Depressing. And I wasn’t too fond that Clarisse wasn’t in the entire book. She reminded me of Clarissa :)

      P.S. Seriously, be my roommate in college. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you and Emarshily next year, when it’s just me and Clarissa. And now please cue the sad violin music…

      • So usually I click the little box at the bottom that says “email me with follow up comments” and for some reason i didn’t….Fyi. :P

        MAH goooooodness. Bring chocolate covered bacon sometime (i.e. TOMORROW) and wear yo HS bling–HS may stand for Honor Society and/or High School.

        Oh and in my defense, the lemon mix was already was past the due date….

        GAH! i totally had forgotten about what happens at the end of 451 but now that you mention it, i do remember being really confused and then it was over. I think I’m going to give it a re-read.

        P.s. AGREEEEEED. Emarshily et tu need to go to Cdom avec moi.

        • LOL. “LOL? What does that mean?” -Stupid girl from last night.

          Gahhh, I would. But we don’t have bacon or chocolate :( And I’m TOTALLY wearing my HS bling tomorrow! I was polishing it up earlier today. Ok, not really. How do you polish up a $5 medallion?

          Excuses, excuses.

          It’s a great book…up until the last 20 pages or so. If you just stop a few pages before the end and think up your own ending, it works out great.

          iSI! Ok, I know that i isn’t an upside-down exclamation point, but I wanted to sound like an authentic latina…si? Wow. My brain is fried. I apologize for my stupidity.

  3. I always enjoy reading your narratives and looking at the pictures of the goodies.

    I also like the comments made by your friends, although I may not completely understand the finer points of some of them.

    Now about your opinion regarding the 70’s music genre…..

    • I don’t understand some of the comments my friends make either, so we’re in the same boat.

      Well, let me rephrase that. If I had to choose my least favorite of genres of music, 70’s and country music would be on that list. But I obviously don’t dislike 70’s music *that* much, because I still listen to the 70’s station. Right?

  4. yummy cookies Miss Martha Stewart!! ;) I love Christmas cookies. For class this next week we’re having a Christmas party, and I think I’m gonna make Buckeyes. Yum!

    Bacon is amazing. And pork is the only way to go. People who think turkey bacon is actual bacon have to have something wrong with their noggin. It’s *sooooo* not bacon. Paper thin weirdness. yeah, so not working. ;)

    yours derkishly,
    -Tia

    • BUCKEYES=HAPPINESS. Seriously, what’s better than chocolate and peanut butter? Um, nothing. Other than Batman. But that goes without saying.

      Psh, turkey bacon is like wannabe bacon. And turkey’s gross anyway. Fact.

      Yours derkishly times pi,
      Picco

  5. I might change my mind and go to college in St. Louis if you made me some cookies every once in a while. :)

    My favorite Christmas cookies are Martha Stewart’s cherry chocolate chip cookies with dried cherries, dark chocolate, toffee, and oatmeal. Delish. Typical of Martha, they take about four hours to make.

    • DEAL! Next time I see you, I’ll have a plate of cookies and a please-stay-in-St-Louis look on my face. Well, once I figure out how to make that face…hmmm…

      Ooooh, those sound good. But 4 hours? That’s insane and such a waste of my life. Martha bothers me sometimes.

  6. “Unfortunately, when you tell people this, they ask you if you’re on Atkins. How do you answer that question without saying “No! Diets are stupid. I just love bacon” ? Awkward.”

    This is the best response for the Atkins question ever! I’m totally stealing this next time someone asks me this after eating a pound of bacon. It happens surprisingly often?

    As for my cookies this year, simple sugar cookies cannot be beat. Of course you have to add a ton of icing to them making them extra good and healthy for you.

    • It’s pretty much my answer to everything. “What time is it?” “NO! Diets are stupid. I just love bacon.” See? It works.

      I love sugar cookies, but I’m never patient enough to make them, since they have to sit in the fridge for a while. So, basically I’m lazy? Yeah.

    • Would this be Mommy JJR? :)

      Good luck making them! That brown rice flour mixture is amazing. If you’re ever feeling adventurous, use it in place of regular flour to make things gluten free. Just make sure to add xanthan/guar gum.

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