I’m too hilarious for my own good.

The problem with having sarcasm as advanced as mine is that sometimes quite often people think I’m a total dumbo. Seriously. The other day I was with a few people, and I was reading the back of a bottle of bleach (I’m not even going to go into the backstory…). Half of the instructions (or whatever they are) on the back were written in English, and the other half was in Spanish. So me, being the oddball I am, decided to use that moment to be funny. I proclaimed, “Hey, I can’t read Mexican!” One of the people I was with looked at me like I was totally mental, gave me the evil eye, and said, “Um, It’s Spanish.” At that point I’m pretty sure I audibly rolled my eyes and said, “I know…” Moral of the story? Always surround yourself with people who appreciate how funny you are. The end. That was a great story. And that previous sentence was a prime example of sarcasm. Work on it, people.

In other news, I’m made some food. Delicious food. Do I ever make anything else? Actually, yes, I make a lot of gross stuff…but that’s besides the point. I made crepes. Delish.

My camera was being weird tonight, so the pictures are kind of wonky. And when I say my camera, I mean my mom’s nice camera that she lets me use. And when I say wonky, I mean wonky might be my new favorite word and I’m pretty sure I’ve already used it 478 times today alone. For example:
“Hey, look at that wonky giraffe!”
“Oh no, people don’t appreciate my witty humor. They’re so wonky.”
“Hey Picco, I hear you’ve recently started watching White Collar. What do you think of it?” “It’s totally wonky! And Matt Bomer is totally attractive. Fact.”

Not so fast, mister. Scroll back up and admire that picture. That stupid picture took me forever to take. Not only because the lighting was all wonky (see? you can use it everywhere.), but because the crepes cook in about 2.7 seconds so by the time I was about to get a good picture, I had to flip the crepe over or take it off the stove. You have no idea how nerve wracking it was. Food, done right, really is a work of art. You know what else is a work of art? Matt Bomer’s eyes. I love blue eyes. Seriously, if you have blue eyes, you’re automatically that much cooler in my book. And actually, looking back, every single best friend I had as a child had blue eyes. Coincidence? I think not. Can I say the words “blue eyes” anymore in one paragraph? Again, I think not. Wonky.

I have to trick myself into eating vegetables. I hate them. And I’m not trying to be a cute and dumb (when is dumb ever cute? Seriously.) girl and be like, “Heehee, I hate veggies! They’re grrrrooossssssss. And now I shall throw myself at every guy within a 100 foot radius of myself.” No. I take pride in the fact that I’m pretty intelligent, I’m not desperate for attention, and I seriously hate vegetables. But smother them with cheese and I’ll eat them. So I put extra cheese in the scrambled eggs and guess who ate all her veggies tonight? Me! Who’s impressed?

If you haven’t made crepes before, do it. I triple dog dare you. They’re actually much easier than you’d think. It’s the whole quickly-swirling-the-batter-in-the-pan-to-evenly-coat-and-if-it-isn’t-even-it’ll-cook-all-wonkishly part that gives me a small heart attack. But once you’re on your 3rd crepe or so, things get easier. Scouts honor.

Wonky wonky wonky. Ok, now it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore. I need a new adjective.

Crepes

Adapted from allrecipes.com

1 cup all-purpose flour
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup water
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons butter, melted

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the flour and salt. In a separate bowl, combine the milk and water. Slowly add the flour/salt mixture to the milk/water mixture. Add in the butter, and beat until smooth.

Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each crepe. Quickly swirl the batter in the pan to coat it evenly. *insert slight panic attack here*

Cook the crepe for about 2 minutes, until the bottom is light brown and no longer wonky. Loosen with a spatula, turn and cook the other side. Serve hot.

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24 thoughts on “I’m too hilarious for my own good.

  1. Oh yes! I love crepes. My recipe is even simpler: egg, milk, flour. Stir together and add milk and/or flour until consistency looks kind of right. It never fails! I love flipping crepes, too. :D

    As for the Mexican thing… I think some people are just too literal. :P

    • I’m always scared to improvise with cooking because so much can go wrong. But when I’m feeling adventurous, I’ll definitely try your recipe! :)

      *sigh* I know. I guess I need to learn to be more tolerant of literal people…

      Thanks for the comment!

  2. You must have mysterious hypnotic powers because when I read “Scroll back up and admire that picture,” I did.

    Wonkey eh? <–say that with a British accent and tell me it wasn't fun.

    Oooh sarcasm is fun. I was looking at a picture of George Washington once in a history museum and remarked,"He looks familiar. Isn't he Abe Lincoln?" The total stranger in front of me turned around and was like, "Uhhhh THATS GEORGE WASHINGTON!" hahahha…I laughed and laughed. He really fell for it.

    Okay end of story, stop laughing.
    Bye.

  3. Some very interesting responses to another of Picco’s blockbuster blogs.

    One of your favorite male actors (JD), now considers YOU as one of HIS favorites. He thanks you for turning his screened last name into a very popular adjective. Sorry about that; but it is very early on a Saturday.

  4. Oh, gosh, I can *so* TOTALLY relate with the sarcasm thing. I’m extremely sarcastic all the time….and some people get kind of offended when I’m sarcastic. it’s just my sense of humor..I guess. Some people just don’t get it. ;) I love that “hey I can’t read Mexican!” haha oh and the “National Sarcasm Society – like we need your support.” – now THAT is epic – topped with some awesome sauce. ;)

    btw, about the blue eyes… I’m your bestie and I have green eyes. so there. new record, people. but green eyes top blue eyes anyday…so…. haha ;)

    I so agree with you about the heart attack-producing crepes. those things are delicious and easy-peasy to make – until you get to the actual cooking part. :shock: scary stuff. ;)

    -Tia

    • Once upon a time, I was making cookies yesterday. My phone was in my pocket and while I was mid cookie making, it buzzed like 100 times (slight exaggeration). My first thought? WOOHOO!! I’m so popular! And when I finally got the cookies in the oven and had a second to see who all the texts/emails/fanmail was from I was like “haha, comments from Tia. Classic.” The end. But anyway, you’re crazy. In a totally cool way, no worries.

      That’s why I said best friends from my CHILDHOOD. I am a young lady now. Duh? If I were to say my best friends from my young-adult-hood, I’d say they all have had green eyes… ;) So fine, green eyes might just top blue eyes. Especially on Hilary Duff. Um hello, that lady is gorgeous.

      I think you’re starting to talk like me. Either that or I’m sounding like you. Because saying “it was epic-topped with awesome sauce” might actually be a phrase I’ve used before ;) TWINS?!

  5. and when you wrote, “not so fast mister. scroll back up there and admire that picture”, I actually did. without even thinking about it. You should be basking in your telepathy-controlling powers. :D

    -Tia

  6. Pingback: Chicken pot chicken pot chicken pot pie « Spoonlighting

  7. I’d been wanting to make these ever since I first read this post, and I finally got around to it the other night. I thinly spread strawberry jam on them and then rolled them up. Yummy! Thanks for the recipe!

    • Aren’t they good? I’m too lazy to read this post again and see if I’d said this before, but putting Nutella and strawberries in them is really fantastic too. On nom nom.

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