I’m pretty sure bacon needs to be made into a food group. Not only because it might just be the most delicious thing on the planet, but also because then at least I’d eat more food groups. I was thinking about making chicken tonight, but I wanted to make it healthy. So I went out on a limb and made some of the chicken with thyme. Thyme is a vegetable, right?
Boring. So with the rest of the chicken, I turned it up to an 11. Bacon wrapped chicken, dunked into a brown sugar+chili powder mixture. Nothing more needs to be said.
I’ve made bacon wrapped chicken before, but last time I made it it needed…something. That something was brown sugar. I would like to thank Paula Deen for the heart disease we’re all going to develop now thanks to her recipe. I honestly have no clue who this Paula chick is (you’d think that as much as I love food, I’d watch Food Network, huh?) other than she seems obnoxious and she hid her diabetes diagnosis from us. Oh, and she has the most delicious recipes ever, but I’m scared to try most of them in fear of having a heart attack at the age of 16.
While I was making this, I made up a song to the tune of Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. I call it…wait for it… Paula Deen. Clever, right? The refrain goes “Paula Deen is not my dietician, she’s just a lady who feeds me yummy bacon.” And that’s all I got. I’ll work on it.
Aside from becoming temporarily employed in the music industry, I also thought some very deep thoughts in the process of skewering the bacon and chicken together. What if this bacon wrapped chicken actually has a deeper meaning? What if it’s meant to represent something fantastic…such as Downton Abbey? Yes, that’s it. The chicken obviously represents the tension between the various members of the Crawly family, the brown sugar must be for the (somewhat) normalcy the staff adds to the drama the Crawlys create, and the bacon is the the Irish chauffeur, Branson. Because I love that guy.
And the best part? This is all gluten free. In my world, we like to call that an epic win. Now there’s no excuse for you not to make these…unless you’re Jewish or a vegetarian. In that case I apologize. On behalf of all the bacon lovers of the world, we’d like to express our sincere sorrow that you cannot eat this delicious food. So here’s a picture of Branson from Downton Abbey for you to stare at.
Sweet Chicken Bacon Wraps
Adapted from the Food Network website
8 boneless chicken thighs
1 (1-pound) package sliced bacon
2/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon chili powder
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Cut chicken thighs into thirds, and then cut those thirds in half. Basically you’ll cut each thigh into 6 parts. Understand? Good, because my brain hurts and I just had to do a lot of thinking right there… Cut each bacon slice into thirds. Wrap each chicken slice/cube/thing with bacon and secure with a wooden toothpick. In a small bowl, stir together brown sugar and chili powder. Dredge (dredge? Wait, what? That’s the word Food Network uses. I can honestly say I’ve never heard that word in my entire life. But I’ll keep it since it sounds cool.) wrapped chicken in sugar mixture. Coat a rack and broiler pan with nonstick cooking spray. Place chicken wrap on rack in broiler pan. Bake at 350 for 30 to 35 minutes or until bacon is crisp. Stick under the broiler on low for 2-3 minutes at the end to crisp up bacon even more, if you so desire. Eat.