Ode to a search engine

People are weird. I know this just by looking at my blog stats to see how people found my blog today. Since some of the phrases are pretty hilarious, I’ve compiled a few short poems/haikus/whatever that I wrote using only the terms people googled to find my blog. Each line is one search term. And I swear I’m not making any of them up.

“driving lesson” “awkward silence”
are british boys cute
bacon grease

duct tape rose
i’m fifteen
need for food in our life

ryan reynolds turkey meatballs
you know you’re a damian mcginty fan when
brian regan jail

greens batman cookie mix
most awesomest batman converse
hot girls wearing batman shirts

how do u pronounce downton abbey
excuse me while i bake all day

i’m not always sarcastic sometimes i mean every word i say
be sure you’re not surrounded with idiots

“heaping spoonful”?
melty butter globs
psychotic nerve
i love bacon

who is christian bale’s aunt
owls in the family (weeps)
harry potter went downhill after goblet of fire
creative stupidness

You’re impressed with my mad poetry skills, I can tell.


12 thoughts on “Ode to a search engine

    • Woah. You definitely win the weirdest search engine terms award. Not that that’s a great accomplishment, since it sounds like a pretty cruddy award… :)

      I don’t know what’s weirder, the fact that people actually google this stuff or the fact that from googling it they end up on our blogs. Insane.

      • It’s most definitely insane onboth levels! And I don’t know about you but I don’t ever recall writing about trampling chinese people, kissing in bed or trampling voluptuous ladies! And I don’t even know what a direct fire chiller principle is!

        Did you ever, at any stage discuss being a hot girl in a batman shirt?! Though I’m sure you are a hot girl and Adam West was my favourite batman too!!!!!! :D

        PS Just out of curiosity who is Christian Bale’s aunt? I’d google it but I’d probably only end up back here :P

        • Uhh, no. I don’t think I’ve ever discussed my hotness. Because I don’t know is there’s much to discuss :) But now I really want to go trample a voluptuous lady while wearing my stilettos…

          Honestly, I have no clue who Christian’s aunt is. Shouldn’t you know? He’s British (err, Welsh…), you’re British. You should know these things! ;)

  1. Omigoodness!! This is amazing!! Hahaha! The search terms were funny to begin with, but I adore the poetic touch! I nearly died laughing!! xD

    Why would anyone ask how to pronounce “Downton Abbey,” though? If you watch the show, the characters say it all the time! And everyone knows the only right way is the British way!

  2. “Melty butter globs,” for some reason, made me giggle the most.
    And then I had to go look at my search engine terms, and yesterday someone searched “Hairy French” and “donkey cleaning.” Which are, by far, the weirdest search terms I’ve ever seen used to find my blog.
    This means… I should write more random things, and get weirder search terms… right?

  3. Pingback: Wookin pa nub using all the wrong search terms | Spoonlighting

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