Tales of adventure (which includes, but is not limited to, the lost art of money folding, bad bowling skills, and secret admirer valentines)

It’s funny how going out and doing stuff can make you realize how much you don’t go out and do stuff. That made sense, right? Basically, I hit the town yesterday. I’ll tell you all about it only because if I didn’t, I’d probably be wasting my life on Pinterest right now. Or watching reruns of Psych. I’ve heard it both ways.

When choosing a “fun activity” to do with your friends Marie and Emarshily, pick something all of you are actually good at. If none of you are good at bowling, maybe you shouldn’t go bowling. How can you tell if you’re not good? If you are 16 and your two friends are both 17 and all of you ask to have the kiddie bumpers on the lane put up, you’re not good.

When going bowling, one does not simply use their real names, just as one does not simply walk into Mordor. You have to pick cool, hip names. I used Napoleon, which totally stood for Napoleon Bonaparte, not Napoleon Dynamite… and my bowling mates were The Dowager and Heathcliff. Oh, and I can’t bowl to save my life.

80 points. And that was with the bumpers up. Oof.

Marie was so upset I lost, she threw a temper tantrum right in the middle of the bowling alley and started smashing that weird podium thing. It was awkward. We were fingerprinted, had our pictures taken, and then were escorted out by 2 huge security guards. Thanks, Marie. They’re totally never letting us back in there now.

After bowling, we ran across the street to get lunch at IHOP. I love IHOP. Although I don’t love the name, because when I type it out, I feel like I have to put it in all caps since it’s an acronym and then I shout in my head. Story of my life. When you go to IHOP (shouting again…), do yourself a favor and specify a waiter/waitress with a sense of humor. Ours didn’t. I ordered a Belgian waffle and there was the option to get fruit on it, so I said to the waitress, “Could I have the Belgian waffle with that blueberry stuff on top?” And she looked at me like she was Luke Skywalker and I was Darth Vader telling her I was her father.

People that work at IHOP have weird names. Take our waitress for example. Her name tag said Beashariquedstify or something like that. All I know is that there were way too many consonants for it to be a real name. And she introduced herself as “bee”. I wanted to ask her how she pronounced her real name and also what was going through the mind of her mother when she named her that, but I didn’t. So I decided we should fold her tip into tiny paper airplanes.

APPARENTLY people don’t like it when you turn their tip into art, because she totally gave us the evil eye as we were leaving. Um, her loss. Look how awesome those are.

So that’s how I spent my Sunday afternoon. How was your weekend? Did you find out that the secret admirer valentine you hired someone to send to someone else was basically interpreted as a death threat? Is it the second year in a row that you’ve sent out secret admirer valentines and both years the receivers of the valentines have been severely weird out? No? Then I envy you.


17 thoughts on “Tales of adventure (which includes, but is not limited to, the lost art of money folding, bad bowling skills, and secret admirer valentines)

  1. A trip to Japan might be in order here. You could take lessons in paper folding (there is a fancier name for that skill which escapes me) and they probably do not have bowling alleys over there. Just kidding.

    I would imagine that you were very happy to enjoy a meal that was not prepared by you!!! IHOPE your next IHOP waitress will have a simpler name and will not end up staring daggers at you.

    • Sadly, no. Although I’m pretty sure I was almost about to get kicked out for getting such a horrid score. My bowling ball was seriously riding the bumpers the whole time. Ohhhhhh dear, I’m so not sporty…

  2. I may be replying backwards, but I gotta say stuff before I forget…

    If I was allowed to take tips, I would totally rather have a small tip folded awesomely like that than a bigger one slapped down on the counter. For serious. Unless it was $100 vs $1. Then I might accept the boring bills. Maybe. :P But that’s super fantastic!

    Also, I’d like to second that question. Were you guys honest-to-goodness kicked out!? I kind of want that to happen to me. Just once. I wanna be reckless and stupid enough to get kicked out of a place. But one I don’t care about coming back to. Maybe I’ll find that IHOP (*shouts* IIIIIHOOOOP!!!) and get kicked out of there because the waitresses don’t have a good sense of humor.

    And I love, love, love all your references! Like the Star Wars one. And the bowling names are AMAZING!! Love that you were named after the historical Napoleon. Most people now automatically think of Napoleon Dynamite. *shrugs* I’ve heard it both ways. ;) I stayed up way too late last night watching three episodes of Psych. Love it.

    • Thanks! I felt pretty creative when I did it… ;)

      Hahaha no we weren’t kicked out. But that would be the best story ever. I think I’d invite myself to parties just to tell about the time I was escorted out of the bowling alley after my friend destroyed the place.

      Errr…actually I think I was named after Napoleon Dynamite. Maybe. BUT in my defense, my friend suggested I call myself Napoleon and I guess it was never really official which Napoleon she was referring too. Psych=happiness. I’m so glad they started airing more episodes from season 6! I’m going to be an emotional wreck when that show stops.

  3. I love your creative tips. That waitress just doesn’t have a sense of humor, I’ll tell ya. haha looks like you guys had a great time! I hope you’re allowed back in the bowling alley…. Secret of mine: bowling alleys scare me. Why? No clue. They’re just creepy.


    • Thank you. I loved them too ;) Seriously! Nothing’s worse than not being able to laugh at yourself/the money paper airplanes you just received. I think we will be allowed back in ;) They scare you? Well, I can see that. The one we went to was filled with…interesting people. There were these two guys playing pool in the arcade and one of them was a little coo coo for cocoa puffs, if you know what I mean. He was yelling about how the other guy had the score wrong and he’ll never get anymore points until he fixed his prideful heart of his. Yeahhhh.

  4. I don’t think I’ve ever had quite so much fun bowling if I may say so and I blame you for getting us kicked out. Your horrible score made me get upset and throw a tantrum which resulted in us getting kicked out. Therefore it’s your fault. FACT.

    Is it just me or does my plate of chocolate chip pancakes look like something died on it? …and then melted?

    • Same here :) Sorry I’m such a lame bowler. I’ll work on lots of life skills before going out in public with you again. Who knows what you’ll break next time?

      I was trying to remember how I knew that your chocolate chip pancakes were so good and then I was like, oh yeah…I totally ate some off Marie’s plate. I’m glad you let me eat your food and then still think I’m semi-normal afterwards. Merci.

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