You’re glutenful. You’re glutenful. You’re glutenful, it’s true.

“Lemons are disgusting,” said no one ever.

I love lemons. Actually, one of my earliest memories is being on a boat in Colorado with my family and just eating lemons. Another one of my earliest memories is sitting in a car seat and freaking out because I thought I was going to die. Yeah. I was a strange child.

One of the blogs I stalk intensely admire is AmyBites, and she put up a recipe for Lemon Loaf the other day. Since loaf is one of the weirdest words ever (next to tyrotoxism, which means to be poisoned by cheese. I kid you not. Look it up.), I’m going to call it Lemon Pound Cake. Sounds a bit better, right? This recipe was kind of exciting because I got to grate a lemon for the first time. Is it really sad that the most exciting part of my life is grating lemons? Wait. Don’t answer that.

The magic of lemons is that they help you find cuts on your hand you didn’t know you had. What makes it worse is I have a bit of a habit of picking the sides of my nails when I’m nervous. This has been random facts about Picco that make her sound totally mental. But anyway I was in some serious pain juicing these lemons yesterday. I would compare the pain to the pain I felt enduring Leonardo DiCaprio while I was watching Inception. Great movie, don’t get me wrong, but he bothers me to no end. Side note: since Titanic is now in 3D, if they still don’t notice the iceberg, they have some serious issues. Just saying.

I think I’ve finally realized the trick to making non-enjoyable outings enjoyable. Before you leave for said awful event, make food. Last night I went to a homeschool conference that I was anticipating I wasn’t going to enjoy. I mean, what sounds fun about being around a bunch of people you don’t know and listening to a long talk at 8pm, which is wayyyy past my bedtime? (that’s sarcasm, people. I’m not that lame. I actually go to bed at 9.). So right before I left, I made this so I knew I would have something to look forward to. Luckily, I actually had a good time. Part of what made it enjoyable was quoting Brian Regan at random times during the talk with my friend. That always helps.

I used regular flour in this because we were out of brown rice flour, and, OF COURSE, my sister with Celiac was like “You made Lemon Bread! I love you!” It was such a big guilt trip, I’m pretty sure I could have gone to Antarctica and back. Speaking of, one of my friends said that she wants teach to paragliding lessons and dig up dead people’s bones in Antarctica when she’s older. I know, you’re jealous of my awesome friends. It’s pretty obvious.

Lemon Pound Cake
Adapted from AmyBites

For the pound cake
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt
1/3 cup lowfat buttermilk (I know if you don’t have buttermilk you can make it by adding lemon juice to milk and letting it sit for a little while, but I’m not sure exactly how to do that.)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 pound (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
Zest of 4 lemons (yes, 4.)
Juice of 4 lemons

For the glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespoons  lemon juice
2-3 tablespoons water

Preheat the oven to 350º F. Prepare a 9″ loaf pan with baking spray or parchment paper; set aside.

Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt in a bowl, and set aside. In a separate bowl or measuring cup, mix together the buttermilk and vanilla, and set aside. There’s lot of setting aside in this recipe.

In a stand mixer, or in a mixing bowl using a hand mixer, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Add the flour mixture alternating with the buttermilk mixture in three additions, beginning and ending with flour. Stir in lemon zest and juice.

Transfer the batter to your prepared pan and smooth the top with a spatula. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes, until a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean and the pound cake springs back to the touch. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack.

To make the glaze, whisk together the powdered sugar, lemon juice, and water in a small sauce pan. Heat over low heat until warm. Be careful to not caramelize the sugar. Drizzle over cooled pound cake. Enjoy immensely.

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8 thoughts on “You’re glutenful. You’re glutenful. You’re glutenful, it’s true.

  1. My favorite part was when you jumped about 10 feet to grab the bag of cookies the speaker threw into the audience… you should really consider trying out for college basketball. :) And of course, Brian Regan quotes make everything enjoyable.

  2. Picco,

    Most everyone is familiar with the word loaf. In fact some people even practice it. However, the other word you cite is a new one to me. Your dictionary must definitely be unabridged, as my dictionary does not have the word tyrotoxism listed. However, now I know why I do not like cheese. Paragliding is OK, but I heard that your dream is to go kite surfing in the Melbourne Beach, FL area.

    Have a Wonderful Palm Sunday!!!

  3. Lemons are good. As are lemon flavored candy.
    But don’t put lemon in my tea or I will keel you.

    Those look yummy.
    Send me some.
    Because I just really don’t feel like getting up and making those right now.

    • Lemon flavored candies are the bomb. Although when I was little, I was at my friend’s house I was eating a lemon candy and accidentally swallowed it whole. I pretty much thought I was going to die. Scary stuff.

      I’d love to make you some, but then I’d have to send them in the mail or send them telepathically and, frankly, I’m just too lazy.

  4. This looks SUPER good. Like, I need to make it soon.
    Also, I was very amused by the title (it made me laugh out loud when I saw your post in my inbox), and the first line. :D I don’t like lemonade, if that counts as saying lemons are disgusting.
    But it’s not the lemon’s (or lemons’…?) fault. It’s just that lemonade (and lots of other lemony things) reminds me of having the flu and throwing up. Beautiful fact, huh?
    My fingers would probably die after grating lemons, too. The skin around my fingernails is peeling right now (it’s gross), and I also have the tendency to… you know… grate myself on accident…

    • You should. I definitely recommend it. Although make sure to mix the batter well and distribute all the lemon juice/zest, or you might take a bite and be attacked by sourness. Speaking from experience here.

      Ugh, I had the song You’re Beautiful going through my head all last week. I also had You Make My Dreams Come True on repeat in my mind, but I blame Marie for that…

      Oh, no worries. I always accidentally grate myself. Sometimes even when I’m not grating stuff. It’s sheer talent.

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