Great Expectations (of a cookbook)

“We need never be ashamed of our cookies.”

I know the real reason so many Italians emigrated to America. It was because they were fed up with The Silver Spoon cookbook.

Earlier this week I was at home by myself for a few hours and threw a massive party. Ha, not. I memorized Latin verbs and read about Constantine and the Edict of Milan. You know, what normal teenagers do. Anyway, after I was finished with all of my school work I decided to do a little cooking. Instead of reaching for my trusty Gluten-Free Baking Classics, I grabbed The Silver Spoon instead, since I haven’t cooked anything from it in a while and, you know, my blog’s named after it. That was my first mistake. My second mistake was attempting to make something edible out of it.

I knew I wanted to bake, so after looking through the baking chapter and skimming over the spiced figs and the ricotta and raisin tart, I found a recipe titled English cookies. The ingredients looking pretty forgiving and only good things come out of England, right? Christian Bale, Downton Abbey, more Christian Bale… (Ashley, you’re not allowed to comment.)

Instead of altering the recipe like I wanted to, I decided just to make it as it was written and see what would happen. The recipe seemed sort of off, but I wasn’t sure why. Like there was too much flour or something. Anyway, I went ahead with it and was feeling pretty confident UNTIL….

To be continued.

Ok, it’s not that great of a story. I’ll finish. When I took them out of the oven when they were supposed to be done, I’m pretty sure they were more unbaked than when I put them in the oven. Then I put them in for longer and the bottoms got burnt and the insides were still mushy. Luckily I am the oldest child, which means it is in my nature to be responsible, so I didn’t freak out and get upset. By the way, never google personality traits of oldest or youngest or whatever children. According to the website I was looking at, first borns have good leadership abilities and are very responsible…”if they develop correctly.” That’s actually what it says, so then I got worried I didn’t develop correctly. AND THEN it said that a trait of incorrectly developed first borns is insecurity and believing that you’ll always be inferior, which then leads to never developing successful relationships. Wow.

Look what high hopes I had for this project. I went through pretty much the entire cookbook and marked what recipes I wanted to make. Now I shall go back to my Spoonlighting hiatus. Since I never talk about The Silver Spoon, I think I should to change the name of my blog. I’ve had a lot of great ideas, but these are the options I’ve narrowed it down to:

Christianbalelighting
Baconlighting
Britlighting
Downtonlighting
LeonardoDiCraprio’sfacefreaksmeoutlighting

I might choose that last one. You know it’s true.

I’m not even going to put up the recipe for these cookies. They were so disgusting no one should ever attempt to make them ever. Oh and also, I went around to all the Reynolds products, like aluminum foil and cupcake liners, in the house and changed them to say Ryan Reynolds. Highlight of my day. You think I need to get out more…?

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9 thoughts on “Great Expectations (of a cookbook)

  1. Baconlighting. Definitely. Or…. something classic like “Picco’s Food Adventures” haha. I’m so original, I know. :D

    And that’s a bummer about those cookies. I kind of think that person who wrote that recipe had something wrong with their noggin. Just sayin’. ;)

    -Tia

  2. Telling someone not to comment is basically a challenge to comment. Challenge accepted. :)

    Sorry the cookies were a let down. You should make a gluten-free lemon cake to make up for it. And then… this is the important part… then share it with me. You will feel so much better about your baking skills. And I will do my part and force down this cake. I’m just that kind of person.

    Also, I think you mean to have http://www.thesartorialist.com/ on your blog list. If this is true, you are awesome. If not, please still make me a lemon cake.

    • I thought about that as I wrote it…

      Meh, it’s ok. I do need to make a gluten-free lemon cake, and then NOT share it with you because you deliberate disobeyed me.

      I do have The Sartorialist on my blog roll because it is the greatest blog ever and I want to dress like everyone on it. Minus the guys. Usually. Oh, and I spelled Sartorialist wrong…oops.

    • You=hilar. As I just typed that, my phone just tried to change hilar to Hitler. And if you were Hitler I’m not sure I’d be letting you vote on my blog name change. No offense?

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