To be (stung) or not to be. I vote not.

So basically I almost died yesterday. Again.

Remember my run in with lead poisoning a few weeks ago? Ok, well maybe I didn’t get lead poisoning…but something happened to me. Anyway, yesterday I was going for a run and decided it would be a good idea to run up and down a really steep hill by my house. There were some pretty tall weeds on the hill and obviously there was a bee that agreed with me that exercise is dumb and decided to sting me. Can I just point out that I was actually doing something good for me when I was attacked by the bee? I wasn’t rewatching Newsies for the 100th time, I was exercising. EXERCISING. Since I’d never been stung before, I panicked and pulled the stinger out of my leg, which apparently isn’t what you’re supposed to do because it gets more venom in your body. Ew. So then I frantically ran/limped home, stuck some ice on the place I got stung, and then it all went downhill from there. Obviously, I’m allergic to bee stings. Not deathly allergic, but I was feeling really sick and dizzy and anxious and my throat started to feel weird. My slight allergicness combined with my lovely vasovagal qualities makes for a really annoying person to deal with.

I was freaking out so much I tried to distract myself by watching Spongebob and eating. As I was eating some soggy animal crackers (I’m still not sure why they were soggy) and saltines that I’m sure expired before I was born, all of the sudden I thought “Wait, if I’m dying, this is my last meal.” Then, half delusional, I starting thinking about what I want my last meal to be. The best I could think of was a chocolate malt from Crown Candy, biscuits and honey from KFC, and those little raspberry and blackberry candies. Delusional me obviously doesn’t have a very refined palate.

So I asked my mom why I was feeling so awful and she said, basically, I was poisoned, and then I started to freak out even more. No one ever told me that it was poison. People always said Picco, what is truth. Picco, what is the nature of the good. Picco, what should I order. Picco, what are you having. And not once did anyone ever say Picco, hemlock…errr…bee stings are poison.

Rosebud.

Oreo Triple Layer Chocolate Pie

From here

32 oreo cookies, divided (about 3/4 of 15.5-oz. pkg.). I used the leftover gluten-free overcooked brownie cookies I made the other day…in case you cared.
1/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
2 packages (3.9 oz. each) jell-o chocolate Instant Pudding
2 cups cold milk
1 tub (8 oz.) cool whip, thawed, divided
Finely crush 24 cookies; mix with butter. Press onto bottom and up side of 9-inch pie plate.

Beat pudding mixes and milk with whisk 2 min.

Spoon 1-1/2 cups pudding into crust. Stir half the cool whip into remaining pudding; spread over pudding layer in crust. Chop remaining cookies; stir into remaining cool whip. Spread over pie.

Refrigerate for 4 hours, or until set.

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14 thoughts on “To be (stung) or not to be. I vote not.

  1. Hi Picco. So, I’m Hannah and Claire’s second cousin who lives in California. Yeah. My mom found your blog because Aunt Gretchen follows it and we follow her blog, and I’ve been reading it ever since and I’m subscribed to your emailed posts. I don’t get much chance to cook, but I love reading about your cooking adventures because you make what I wish I had time for. I really love making desserts and stuff. Maybe I’ll have more time this summer. Anyway. Your sense of humor has my sister and I rolling on the floor, every time I read a post of yours. So, keep it up! You’re totally awesome.

    And here’s a picture of Batman and the Joker I thought you’d like, unless you’ve seen it before: http://4.asset.soup.io/asset/1668/9396_0b5c.jpeg

    • Hey! Claire’s mom said that she told a lot of people about my blog when they went on that massive road trip. If you’re looking for an easy dessert to make, I put up a banana bread recipe that is super easy. True story.

      But anyway, I’m glad you like my blog. I make myself laugh and I’m glad that I make other people laugh too… ;)

      I’ve seen that picture before! I’m still trying to tell if the skateboard is photoshopped… but even if it is, it’s still the coolest picture ever. I miss Heath Ledger :(

  2. I have only been stung by a bee once. I think. Maybe it wasn’t a bee. I don’t know. It didn’t really hurt that bad.
    Anyway.
    Bees hate me. So yay for me!

    Also, next time put toothpaste on it. It sucks out the poison. Not the gel kind though. It has to be the PASTE.

    • I read that you’re supposed to put lemon or toothpaste on it, but that just sounded disgusting, so I stuck with ice and, uh, it didn’t work. Next time I’ll follow your advice, oh wise Kait.

    • “Among people with vasovagal episodes, the episodes are typically recurrent, usually happening when the person is exposed to a specific trigger. Prior to losing consciousness, the individual frequently experiences a prodrome of symptoms such as lightheadedness, nausea, the feeling of being extremely hot (accompanied by sweating), ringing in the ears (tinnitus), uncomfortable feeling in the heart, fuzzy thoughts, a slight inability to speak/form words (sometimes combined with mild stuttering), weakness and visual disturbances such as lights seeming too bright, fuzzy or tunnel vision, and sometimes a feeling of nervousness can occur as well. These last for at least a few seconds before consciousness is lost (if it is lost), which typically happens when the person is sitting up or standing. When sufferers pass out, they fall down (unless this is impeded); and when in this position, effective blood flow to the brain is immediately restored, allowing the person to wake up. Short of fainting a person may experience an almost indescribable weak and tired feeling resulting from a lack of oxygen to the brain due to a sudden drop in blood pressure. Taber’s Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary describes this as the “feeling of impending death” caused by expansion of the aorta, drawing blood from the head and upper body.

      This is exactly what happens to me. Thank you, Wikipedia. So basically when I get my blood drawn, I go into fight or flight…minus the fight part…and I just pass out. I’m pretty cool, I guess? Also very annoying.

  3. You didn’t finish the story!! I object! I need an ending here, girl. You obviously didn’t die. Or did you? Muahaha

    Hmm anyway, I hope your feeling better… I’ve never been stung and hope I won’t be anytime soon. By the way, bee stung etiquette: 1. Don’t panic. 2. Using a book, card, towel, anything BUT your fingers, brush the stinger off. 3. Wash with warm, soapy water. 4. Apply ice.

    That is brought to you by your brilliant twin. Though I’ll probably forget all of it the moment I ge stung.

    • I’ll finish.

      *ehem*

      As Princess Picco was painfully suffering from her wretched bee sting, she sadly accepted the fact that she would die. As she was about to close her eyes for the final time, out of the shadows ran Prince First Aid Kit. Luckily, the prince was a door-to-door sales man who sold Benadryl, and he handed the fair maiden two little pink tablets. After taking them with water from the magical spring located outside her castle window, the princess was cured! She and the prince lived happily ever after, and she never ran hills again.

      The end.

      Thank you for the medical tips, twin. This is why I think you’re totally awesome :)

  4. Fact #1: I’m glad you’re not dead.
    Fact #2: I’m so allergic to bee stings, my nose is permanently bigger at the end from where I was stung by a bee there.
    Fact #3: Um, you’re *hularious*

  5. Weirdest bee sting story: We were camping, and my mother bit into a hamburger and got stung by a bee that had crawled into the raw meat and gotten cooked in the burger. She got stung on her tongue by a dead bee!

    • Woahhh, that’s weird, and sounds really painful. The closest I’ve come to that is when I went to a picnic when I was little, I took a sip of my soda and got a mouthful of fly that decided to go swimming in my Dr Pepper and didn’t realize it couldn’t swim. Blech. Dead fly.

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