Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. Or you could just chuck your alarm clock at them.

Are you tired (no pun intended) of continuously hitting the snooze button in the mornings, just to realize that you’ve overslept and now have approximately 4 minutes to get ready for school/work? I have the solution. Get the song Circle of Life from the movie The Lion King, set it as your alarm on your phone, and then, when the guy sings in African at the beginning of the song, I guarantee that you’ll be awakened to sound of the onset of Atrial Fibrillation.

Obviously, I only set that alarm (which I aptly named: good morning, it’s time for your daily panic attack) when I NEED to be awake the next morning at a certain time. For example, last night I stayed up until past midnight watching a documentary on Lyme disease (don’t judge) and didn’t feel like waking up earliy-ish today. I also watched The Truman Show for the first time. It’s a great movie, but Jim Carrey is awful as a serious actor. Watching him fake cry was about as awkward as Greg Page unretiring from The Wiggles and kicking his replacement Sam out of the group. I mean…uhhh…I don’t know who The Wiggles are and I’ve definitely never seen them live in concert with my family.

You know what’s worse than being awakened to the sound of BAAAAAHHHSOWHENYAHHHHMAMABEATSEBABAAHHHH? When you’re having a dream about your mom’s friend who is about to tell you the reason why a particularly nasty girl you know is so vile, the sound of stupid roofers drilling into the side of your house wakes you up. You heard me right. Our next door neighbors are getting their roof replaced and the guys insist on starting at around 6am every morning. This morning they drilled plywood panels over our windows so they don’t break them when they’re throwing slate around. I don’t want to talk about it.

I need to stop talking about the roofers because now my inner-Sicilian is baring its fangs and I’m going to hold grudges against all of them until forever. So let’s talk about this mac and cheese which I’ve dubbed the mayor of Comfort Food Land. It’s delish. I actually have no words to describe it other than…uhhh, it’s delish. I’m really not good with words. I’m not sure if you can tell but the brand of pasta we use is Tinkyada and it’s great. It doesn’t taste gluten free at all. It gets a bit mushy if you overcook it, but if you smother it in cheese, it’s fine. But what else is new?

Baked Mac and Cheese

Adapted from All Recipes

1 1/2 cups uncooked elbow macaroni
1/4 cup butter
1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 cups milk
8 ounces American cheese, shredded
8 ounces Monterey Jack cheese, shredded
1/2 cup seasoned dry bread crumbs

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Butter a 1 1/2 quart casserole dish. Bring a saucepan of lightly salted water to a boil. Add macaroni, and cook until not quite done, about 6 minutes. If you’re using gluten free pasta you’ll probably have to cook it for about 13 minutes, because if you eat it after it has cooked for 6 minutes, you might as well eat concrete. Drain the pasta.

In a separate saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Blend in the cornstarch and pepper, stirring like a madman or else the cornstarch will get all lumpy and no one wants a lumpy butter/cornstarch sauce, right? Slowly stir in the milk, beating out any lumps in the mixture, even though I explicitly told you to make sure there weren’t any lumps. Disobedient. Add the cheeses and stir constantly until the sauce is thick and smooth.

Stir the noodles into the cheese sauce. Transfer the mixture to the prepared casserole dish. Sprinkle bread crumbs over the top.

Cover the dish, and bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until sauce is thick and bubbly.

Also, I made the breadcrumbs by toasting two slices of Udi bread, sticking them in the food processor, and adding oregano, salt, pepper, and parsley. Om nom nom.


7 thoughts on “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. Or you could just chuck your alarm clock at them.

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