Mid-week Crisis: Never trust an elk leading an empire

Yes, there have been a lack of posts this week. Yes, I didn’t forget that I had a blog. Yes, I’m watching Psych while I’m writing this. Any more questions? No? Let’s move on then.

1. I’m doing a writing and logic workshop. Woah. Seriously, go look in the mirror. Your face just screams “Picco is so impressive and all-around awesome and totally deserves this for her birthday.” I’ve been going to the workshop since Monday and it lasts all week. It’s basically 6 straight hours of thinking, and I’m the youngest in the class by a lot. Everyone else is in college and graduate school, so I feel a little dumb. Just a little bit. But it’s a humbling sort of dumb. For example, I was nicely corrected yesterday because apparently I didn’t know that the plural of medium is media. Also, apparently my style of writing doesn’t really jive in the academic world (I thought people always wrote like they were having a spastic conversation with internet people they’ve never actually met? Or is that just me?). And apparently you’re never supposed to start a sentence with “because” or “and,” and sentences can never be one word. Humbling.

2. I woke up yesterday morning and all I could think about is this amazing buffalo chicken dip I had once. I was trying to remember where I had it or if I made it. I then proceeded to think about it all day, especially during logic when I was given 30 terms to define in 10 minutes. How on earth are you supposed to define “justice” or “truth” when you have buffalo chicken dip on the mind? So I just asked Socrates.

3. Oh, and I remembered I DID make it. Somehow I remembered that I found it off of How Sweet It Is. And I’m making it tonight. I need to stop starting sentences with the word and. This workshop is making me self-conscious. JEEZ.

4. People are always like “keep a notebook by your bed so you can write down those 2am inspirations,” so I did that. Last night I woke up, wrote something down, and then fell back asleep. What did I write? I looked at it this morning and it said “The phrase ‘An elk leading an empire’ means that something could never happen.” I am no longer keeping a notebook by my bed, because 2am me should stay at 2am and never show its face at any other time. But you’ve got to admit, I have pretty good half-asleep handwriting.

5. Why are all my friends becoming adults? The latest one is the wonderful, fantastic, super groovy Emily. Happy birthday, Emily! Don’t grow up, kids. It’s a trick.

6. I may or may not have left virtual flowers on Heath Ledger’s grave. And I may or may not do it every day until Batman comes out on Friday. And I may or may not totally miss that guy.

7. The other day my little (and by little, I mean toddler. Itty bitty. Barely-potty-trained tiny) brother was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, repeatedly saying “I’m Megan Fox.” He also has all of the song We Are Young by Fun. memorized. I think I’ve corrupted my siblings.

8. I’ve become a Monopoly fiend. This is what it looks like to be totally beaten by me. And I didn’t even get a chance to break into my secret under-the-tablecloth stash of $2000. Scared? You should be.


11 thoughts on “Mid-week Crisis: Never trust an elk leading an empire

    • Don’t they? This is also the brother who is convinced I’m a boy. Everyone else in my family is the correct gender, but noooo, not me. And there’s not even a reason for it. I’m a boy and anyone who says otherwise will get yelled at by him. It’s weird…

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