Qui$ha. Like Ke$ha, but more quiche-like.

Corrupted Brother: What are you doing?
Me: Looking at scholarships (I assumed he knew what those are since he knows about Megan Fox…I mean what 4 year old DOESN’T know about scholarships?)
CB: What are scholarships? (ok, I guess I was wrong.)
Me: They are things that give me money for college.
Me: Oh really?
CB: Yeah, Steve can bring his pillow to college.
Me: So am I like Steve?
CB: *looks at me for a second*

So apparently I’m like an old bald dude with really bad veneers. Thanks a lot.

Anyway…I’ve had two fun filled days. Yesterday I went shopping and today I got a necklace from my lovely blogger friend Kait Culbertson. Oh and I was sung to yesterday. Jealous? I’ve already told like 5 people this story, but I need to tell it again.

You are not allowed to judge, but I enjoy Hot Topic. I only buy normal stuff there, I swear. No gauges for me, only Dr. Who shirts and buttons that say “cool story, bro.” My aunt got me a bag with the Beatles’ Abbey Road picture on it for my birthday, and I used it yesterday when I went to the mall. I walked into Hot Topic with my friend and the guy who worked there (Bryan) said “Hey, I really like your bag.” I said thanks, figuring the conversation would be over. Nope. He then said “So, I guess you like the Beatles?” And I said “Yeah, I was kinda raised on them.” And it went downhill from there. He proceeded to tell me all about how he was too and then he asked if I had heard of a band called City of Colours. I stupidly said yes, and then he said “Ok, don’t tell anyone, but I’m going to turn off the heavy metal and put on some acoustic stuff by City of Colours.” So he started playing their music through the store speakers…and singing to me. Twice. He actually had a semi-decent voice, but it was odd hearing a heavily tattooed and pierced dude sing a pretty song to me…and it was also odd to be heavily hit on by the same guy. By the time I left, I was actually surprised he hadn’t proposed. Weirdest experience of my young life? I think yes.

Also, I spent the day with my friend Katie. After a long period of not talking, I think we actually get along much better than we did pre-awkward fight. And I didn’t even think it was weird when she accidentally pulled multiple items of clothing off the rack at Forever 21. I missed her.

Earlier today, my brother ran up to my room holding a letter and laughing. He’s like what is this?! It was a letter from Kait addressed to *real first name* Piccola Gordon-Levitt Italiana *real last name*. It would have been perfect if she had added Bale to it. What was inside the letter? Uh, only two friendship necklaces. One for Marie and one for me. Kait has the Union Jack one, Marie has the double decker bus, and I have the telephone booth. It’s pretty much one of the coolest things I’ve ever gotten. Also, Kait is one of those people who can say, “Heeeeeey, did you ever realize that seals are like mermaid dogs. That’s weird.” without thinking anything of it. Exhibit A why we get along so well.

Now that I’m done with all of that, let’s discuss quiche. Once upon a time, I had a friend whose parents’ favorite meal was spinach quiche. I bet you’re thinking hey, spinach quiche. Potentially good, right? WRONG. It was disgusting and they would make it All. The. Time. It was painful for 8-year-old me to simultaneously pretend to like it and try not to barf. It was about that time that I got very good at multi-tasking. Needless to say, I was scared of quiche for a while. Then I found out you didn’t have to make it with spinach. You could make it with other normal foods, like bacon and cheese and onions. Which is exactly what I do now.

I’m not sure if this is a good recipe or not, since the only other recipe I’ve tried that I can compare it to is the Disgusting Quiche From Heck That Probably Comes Alive At Night one, but I like it. It also doesn’t have a crust, so it’s gluten free. Could life get better? Actually yeah, my life would be much better if I hadn’t been traumatized by stupid spinach quiche. I swear that explains all my problems.

Crustless Quiche

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 onion, chopped
1 pound bacon, thawed
6 eggs, beaten
2 1/2 cups shredded swiss cheese
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

Lightly grease a 9 inch pie pan.

Place bacon on a foil-lined cookie sheet. Put bacon into a cold oven, set oven temperature to 400 F, and bake for 15-18 minutes, or until cooked. Finely chop bacon after it has cooled.

Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Saute onions, then stir in bacon so the delicious flavors of bacon and onion are melded together and make you start drooling. In a large bowl, combine eggs, cheese, salt and pepper. Add bacon/onion mixture and stir to blend. Scoop into prepared pie pan.

Bake in preheated oven until eggs have set, about 30 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes before serving. Ha, just joking. Dig right in and burn your mouth. It’s so worth it.

Mid-week Crisis: The portrait of Picco Grey

1. Is anyone else super excited that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is in Premium Rush which is out now as well as Looper which is out in a month? I wanted to see the hour and half Joe Show/Premium Rush last weekend with Marie since EMILY HAD TO LEAVE AND GO GET EDUCATED AT COLLEGE, but she had to work. The three amigos broke up. Although I don’t think we ever actually called ourselves that. Now we do?

2. I watched the entire first season of Fringe in a week. And I may or may not be getting the first disk of season 2 from Netflix today. My parents won’t let me buy the second season. I’m not sure why, since I know I’d be totally productive and would only watch one episode a day. Ha, not.

3. The wall of Picco has expanded. See my awesome New York poster? I also have glow in the dark stars. Are there any other 17 year olds that have those too…?

Also, my friend drew this picture of me.

At first my nose was huge and even her mom was like ugh, fix that now. In case you were wondering, this doesn’t even look like me at all. The hair is right, but I have Joseph Gordon-Levitt eyes. I promise I won’t mention him again in this post.

4. I love Glozell.

5. I used to think it was lame that people would find friends over the internet. Well, it’s still a bit lame…but thanks to this blog I now have the coolest friends…that I’ll probably not meet for a long time. The coolest ones are definitely Tia, Kait, and Mara (because she’s adorable and is getting married to Hunky McGorgeous).  I’m actually talking to Kait over Gmail chat right now and all I’m trying to do is finish up this stupid post. Stop distracting me. Jeez.

6. The other day I decided that I was youthful and that it would be a good idea to do the monkey bars and flip-overs on a bar at the park close by. That might go down in history as the worst idea ever, after promising to not talk about Joseph Gordon-Levitt in this post. I aggravated both sciatic nerves and I’m pretty much in a bit of pain. Although the other day I was told I complain too much, and now I’m self-concious about it…hmmm…anyway, I was reading online what to do when you have annoyed the most painful nerves in your entire body, and the intertron said to rest for a few days and then exercise. That was also the worst idea ever.  I ran two miles a few days ago and just accepted the fact that I was going to die. And then I ran again today. Dear internet, YOU LIE. Do you enjoy seeing me suffer? I hate you. Love, Picco.

7. Tomorrow I’m going to hang out with a girl who was my best friend for years. We kind of drifted apart/got in a huge fight and I haven’t talked to her in a year and have only seen her twice in 2 years… but we’ve been talking lately and decided to get together. We’ll see how things go, but I’m pretty much super excited. Although I can’t tell if I’m more excited because I’m going to see her or because we’re going to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch.

8. Don’t judge.

Mid-week Crisis: Going off the rails on a crazy Wayne (Brady)

A friend gave me season 1 of Fringe on DVD for my birthday. I’m addicted. This probably isn’t a good thing since there are 6 seasons and I plan to watch all of them. If none of you ever hear from me again it’s because…ok I’m not finishing that sentence because I want to finish up this post and go watch another episode. Yeah, it’s almost become a problem.

My favorite show next to Fringe? Whose Line is it Anyway. Wayne Brady and Jeff Davis are pretty much the most hilarious people ever. And Jeff is still single. *WINK* And 38 years old. But mainly single.

This is the corsage I got from my next door neighbors for my birthday. I’ve been meaning to put up a picture of it for a while, but I keep forgetting. Oops. My mom and I tried taking so many pictures of it, and I had a creepy weird old man hand in all of them. It was disturbing. So we finally realized hey, why not just get a picture of the corsage WITHOUT my hand in it? Brilliant.

I really need this shirt. No, really.

I went to a St. Louis Cardinals baseball game the other day. I obviously don’t get out of the house much because I forgot that most people wear a jersey or at least the team colors to a game. What did I wear? Jeans, a black shirt, green jacket, and my purple converses. I was seriously the only person in the entire stadium not wearing red and white. It was rainy and we left after the 7th inning stretch because the game was really boring. It was almost like game 6 of the World Series last year…except for the fact that I think the guys forgot how to hit the ball. Dear Cardinals baseball players, you guys have 2 jobs in life. One, be non-American (I think there are like 3 Americans on the team. I’m pretty sure Puerto Rico manufactures their baseball players. It’s like Brave New World all over again.). And the second job is to hit and catch the stupid ball. Don’t even try to play the old “It’s coming at me at 100 miles an hour” card. I’m still unimpressed.

Corrupted Brother (who just turned 4, I might add) sings Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne. Yeah, we’re THAT family.

Aaaannnnddddd PBS knows me too well.

A superhero cake for my brother who pretends he’s Batman

So, my brother. You know, the one who prays for Megan Fox and confuses the words potato and tornado? Yeah, he’s obsessed with superheroes. And obsessed is an understatement.

Every day his favorite superhero changes. Right now it’s a tie between Green Lantern and Batman, because he doesn’t like ones that fly. Apparently Batman doesn’t fly. Hmmm. I don’t understand that boy.

None of my other brothers have been as fascinated as he is with men who wear capes and most likely have anger issues. They were more into Blue’s Clues and cars, and they certainly didn’t run around the house wearing Batman glasses, a Spiderman shirt, and yelling I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU. He doesn’t get his craziness from me. I think?

It’s his birthday in a few days and for months now he’s been saying that he wants a superhero cake. Since I enjoy superheros too (Exhibit A: Batman converses.), I’ve been really excited about making one for him. So yesterday I sketched out a design for one that I’m not going to show because it looks like a talented 5 year old drew it. I really need to forget my non-existent dream of going to art school.

I think I also need to forget my non-existent dream of being on Ace of Cakes. It’s not too shabby for someone who really has no attention to detail, right? Just agree with me.

I was going to do a three layer cake and have a layer each for Spiderman, Batman, and Green Lantern, but I would have used three boxes of cake mix and that might have been a little too much cake. Maybe. So I used two boxes which made four 9-inch cakes. I stacked them on top of each other and cut the top layer down to be 7-inches. I forget that when you cut a cake the sides get all crumby. Hence the top layer doesn’t look so hot. The icing and I had a bit of a fight at 11pm yesterday.

So anyway, happy birthday, future Mr. Megan Fox. You’re insane, you know that? But you make me laugh. And I very much approve of your love of Batman.

Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Close your eyes. Ok wait, don’t. Then you can’t read this…unless you’re Henry Sugar from that Roald Dahl story. Has anyone read that? No? Right then. Back to closing your eyes.

Imagine that you’re on a desert island with Ryan Gosling. Nevermind, I have dibs on him. You can have Michael Jackson or Amy Winehouse or Lindsay Lohan. Good old Lindsay. You realize that you’re going to kick the bucket soon from lack of food, water, and the fact that Lindsay is driving you over the edge. This story would have been much happier if you were with Ryan Gosling. Sorry? As you’re about to die, a magical genie appears and asks you what you want your last meal to be. I’m not sure why this genie can’t just help you off the island, but this is my story so whatever. With your last dying breath you mutter, “Picco’s blueberry muffins.” The end.

That might have been the weirdest story I’ve ever written, which is impressive since the other day I found a story that I wrote when I was 8 about a teddy bear that was walking through a forest, found a bag of money, was overjoyed, and then got his head bitten off by a butterfly. It really explains a lot about me. The moral of the story is that I’m pretty much in love with these muffins. Goodbye Christian Bale, I’m leaving you for these…WAIT NO COME BACK. I WAS JOKING.

I’ve been running a lot and trying to get in shape, but it’s not working since I’m drowning my sorrows in food. I actually don’t really have any sorrows, but I’m using that as an excuse to eat more. Well, maybe I do have some sorrows. A bunch of people I know are starting college, and two of them are people I’m really good friends with. Luckily one is staying in town, but the other one leaves in 4 days. Boo. And then my friend who lives close by that I spend a lot of time with starts school in 2 days. I’ve decided education is overrated. We should all just stay home and eat muffins while we watch a little House, MD.

It’s sad thinking that my close friends are all leaving. It hurts. *sniff* Ok, but it doesn’t hurt as badly as getting conditioner in your eyes like I did last night. Or getting a contact lodged behind your eye like I did last week. Or stepping on a lego like I do, ummm, every day. But the worst is running your hip into the corner of a counter. Whenever I do that, I pretty much just accept the fact that I’m going to die. Wait, what’s my point…? Oh yeah, I’ll miss you Emily and Marie. But I’m sorry, I really must go back to my muffin. I’m currently on my third and I’m pretending they’re healthy because they have blueberries in them.

My dad took one look at the muffins and said, “Where’d we get these?” I said, “I made them.” He responded, “Seriously? They look store-bought. You are the coolest person on the planet.” Ok, maybe I made up that last part. Just like my go-to cookie recipe is this one, this muffin recipe is now the only recipe I’m going to use for infinity and beyond. And there’s a strudel topping. Could life get better? Word of advice: don’t eat the uncooked topping. Just because something has butter and brown sugar in it, doesn’t mean that those ingredients will overpower the flour. At all. Seriously guys, don’t eat it.

My lovely friend Marie was nice enough to get me the coolest mug on the planet for my birthday. It’s a Harry Potter cup that changes color when you put hot water in it, and the words “mischief managed” appear. For those of you who are savvy with Harry Potter, you’ll know that this is one of the coolest presents ever.

It makes me feel super fancy if I eat my muffin whilst drinking my green tea. In case you were wondering…

Blueberry Muffins

Makes 12 delicious muffins

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 egg
1/3 cup milk
1 cup fresh blueberries

1/2 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup room temperature butter, cubed
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Grease 12 muffin cups or line with muffin liners.

Combine 1 1/2 cups flour, 3/4 cup sugar, salt and baking powder. Place vegetable oil into a 1 cup measuring cup; add the egg and enough milk to fill the cup. Mix this with flour mixture. Fold in blueberries. Fill muffin cups right to the top, and sprinkle with crumb topping mixture. Again, don’t eat the mixture. It’s tempting, but don’t do it. Are you listening to me?!

To Make Crumb Topping: Mix together 1/2 cup sugar, 1/3 cup flour, 1/4 cup butter, and 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon. Mix with fork, and sprinkle over muffins before baking. Don’t eat it.

Bake for 18 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.