Mid-week Crisis: Does your little brother pray for Megan Fox too?

1. I unfortunately have to start this blog post off on a depressing note. For those of you who didn’t know, we have chickens in our backyard, because we’re hipster like that. Last night at 2am, an opossum got into the chicken coop, and decided that my mom’s favorite chicken, Rose, would be a tasty snack. Without going into sad details, Rose is no longer with us. And the opossum is playing opossum…in the dumpster. WHACHA. That’s what you get when you mess with my hipster family, you stupid, possibly rabid animal.

2. This week on I’ve Officially Corrupted My Little Brother, we learn that I really have corrupted him. A few days ago I decided to pray with him before he went to bed. So I asked him who he wanted to pray for. He answered with a completely straight face “Mommy, Daddy, and Megan Fox.” Also, about an hour ago he was singing Alejandro by Lady Gaga. And he’s only in pre-school. Sorry, mom. But he does have some redeeming qualities. For example, he uses the words potato, volcano, and tornado interchangibly, which always makes me laugh, especially when the potato sirens are going off outside. He’s pretty adorable. A little crazy, thanks to me, but adorable.

3. Have you ever had a Starburst ball? No? Well, let me tell you all about them. Every time I get together with a friend of mine, we make one. Basically, you take an entire bag of Starbursts, unwrap them, place them in a bowl, microwave them for about 5 seconds just to get them soft. Then, you squish all of them into one gigantor ball of carbs, stick it back into the microwave for another 10-15 seconds, and enjoy. I made it last Friday and my two friends and I finished almost the entire thing in half an hour. You’re pretty much guaranteed to feel like crap afterwards, but it’s worth it.

4. My obsession with techno and house music is now going to be part of your life. Sorry.

5. I went to a murder mystery party on Sunday. I was a greaser named Johnny who turned out to actually be a Russian spy. I got to whip out my fake Russian accent, and wear a Harley-Davidson leather jacket. It/I was pretty cool.

6. I somehow convinced my mom to let me buy Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Heath Ledger posters. You will hear ALL about them when I get them. No, seriously. I’ll probably be really annoying.

7. Has anyone watched men’s volleyball during the Olympics? Can we just talk about how disproportioned those guys are? They’re all 6’8″ or 6’9″, have HUGE biceps, aaannnndddd serious chicken legs. It’s so weird to look at. I was laughing at them for about 7 seconds and then I stopped because I was drooling. They are all quite gorgeous. Quite. And the UK gymnast Sam Oldham ain’t too shabby either.

8. It’s my birthday in 3 days. You still have time to order me one of those Harry and David food baskets. Except don’t get me one with cheese or anything. How about just chocolate? And bacon? And Tom Hardy? Mainly Tom Hardy.

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19 thoughts on “Mid-week Crisis: Does your little brother pray for Megan Fox too?

  1. Good for you on the posters!! I love posters…and my room is pretty much filled with them. I think I told you about this, but I’m still saving up for that Joker wall scroll. I’m pretty much psyched for it. :D Is your Heath Ledger poster one of the Joker, or the Australian? ;)

    I’m pretty sure you’ve mentioned your birthday in every post for the last five posts. Excited much?? haha Have any superubercoolamazing plans?

    Another fact of twinness – we have chickens as well. This is getting kind of scary. Are we like carbon copies or something? Except, we don’t have ‘possums here..so… But we do have Bald Eagles, Racoons, Hawks, Coyotes, and Elk. And they are all dangerous, no matter how cute they look. ;) Oh, but one of our chickens died today as well. Not sure why…it was fine, and then my little brother went out and found her dead. Kind of weird.

    -Tia

    • I’m super excited to see the joker scroll when you get it :) is Heath as an Aussie. He’s in a tux, looking oh so lovely. I also got one of the scene from inception (you’ve seen that, right?) where everyone is passed out and JGL is standing up trying to figure out what to.do with them.

      I take my birthdays and half birthdays very seriously, donchaknow? Tomorrow I’m going to go see batman again and then go bowling. And then on my actual birthday I’m hanging out with a friend and going out to dinner.

      I swear you’re my clone…or I’m yours. Only the coolest people have chickens, obviously.

      • Actually, I haven’t seen Inception. All my friends have, and they’re constantly making allusions to it, but I never get them ‘cuz I haven’t seen it. That needs to change. We need to rent and watch a bazillion times over until I understand it. (I’ve heard that you have to watch it like a LOT to get it)

        Wait, wait, wait – you hated The Dark Knight Rises, and you’re going to see it again?? I still haven’t seen it. I’m hoping for this Saturday….except that it’s my mom’s birthday too, so she might not want to see Batman. Maybe Sunday! Before I met you, I never thought about half-birthdays before, and have never celebrated one. I don’t even know what day it falls on…maybe I should think about that. ;)
        haha, obviously.

        • You haven’t seen Inception?! WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?! It’s only the most amazing movie on the planet. And yes, you do need to watch it at least twice to understand what’s going on. I’ve seen it probably 7 or 8 times and I’m still sorta confused.

          Yeah, I know. There’s something wrong with me. But I’m going to see it with some friends and maybe if all of them like it, I’ll convince myself that I like it too. And if not, then I can just stare at Bale, JGL, and Hardy for 3 hours.

    • I can’t take any credit for it, unfortunately. I’ve been making them for like 5 years now, but my friend was the one who introduced them to me. It tastes almost like taffy. Really addicting, incredibly sugary taffy that sits in your stomach for days… ;)

  2. Re your brother: I have always felt that being a little bit crazy is a good thing.

    Speaking of Olympic VBall, I especially enjoyed watching the Brazlian Women’s VBall team. They lost to the US, but they could play the USA team again for the Gold.

    I have not forgotten your Bday. The check is in the mail. Have a great one!!!

  3. “You’re pretty much guaranteed to feel like crap afterwards, but it’s worth it.”

    Oh–I needed a laugh last night (can you believe my husband is weary of getting a $317 Blendtec blender?!) and you provided me one with that line.

    • I can’t believe he isn’t thrilled about the $300 blender. It’s such a good investment, especially since you can’t get normal ones at target for like twenty bucks ;)

      Every time I make them I think “oh, this is such a good idea. I won’t eat a lot of it. Maybe just one little bite.” And then after I’ve finished almost all of it I’m like “what the heck is wrong with me. NEVER AGAIN.” Then rinse and repeat. I’ll never learn.

  4. You are too funny! I’ve never heard of the starburst thing, but I’m willing to bet my oldest would love it. Poor chicken. Here it’s foxes you have to watch for if you have chickens. And your little brother sounds like a hoot!

  5. Dearest Piccola,

    I think that I would very much like to interact with your younger brother and would find him most entertaining. And I want to eat a Starburst ball.
    Also, the thing I ordered for you as your birthday present has yet to arrive so my gift to you is going to be just a bit late.
    Like by at least three weeks.

    Sincerely,
    Kait

    • Dearest Kaitlyn,

      I would very much like to see you and my brother interact. It would be quite comical. Also, I was quite happy upon reading that’s you were considerate enough to purchase me a present. Actually my face was a bit like this :) as you can see, I have no nose. Talk about awkward.

      -picco

  6. Pingback: A superhero cake for my brother who pretends he’s Batman | Spoonlighting

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