I woke up the other day with an awful cold. Like a no-voice-head-hurts-I-want-to-go-punch-a-wall cold. Apparently I’m aggressive when I get sick? The first few days I sounded like Chewbacca, if that gives you a nice mental picture. So to help with my sore throat I’ve been downing cough drops like they’re going out of style. Apparently Halls thinks I have low self-esteem because there are motivational speeches on the wrappers.
Uhhh, that’s not weird. And, no offense, but they really don’t help. You should fire the guy who came up with that idea and hire me instead, because I reeeaaallllyyyy need some money…
My friend Marie and I make CDs for each other a lot and it’s nice to see that her taste in music is just as weird as mine. A few CDs back she gave me this song. Needless to say I love that guy and have memorized all the lyrics to that song. Yes, I know the words to a German rap song. Just when we all thought I couldn’t get any cooler… I had no idea what he was saying until about 10 seconds ago when I looked up the English lyrics. Don’t. It’s basically about him burning down his house and killing his goldfish. Just watch the video.
I went to a bookstore the other day just to find that someone had stolen the name of my autobiography. Jerk.
I’m getting Fringe season 2 disk 4 from Netflix on Thursday, and I just bought a Fringe hoodie. I have a problem and someone needs to intervene. Now.
Three words: Justin. Bieber. Perfume. Between that and his nail polish line I’m having a hard time trying to believe he really is a guy.
I love Halloween. And apparently you get weird looks from the employees at Walgreens when you take a picture of the candy at their store, which explains why it’s so blurry. My mom was like, “Uhhh, take the picture now and let’s move. People are staring…”
I walked into my room the other day to find Corrupted Brother sitting on my beanbag, staring off into space, and singing a song about how the freckle on his stomach won’t go away. The refrain went “Freckle me, freckle me, freckle me, why am I not in the superhero squad? Go away, freckle. Oh wait, you can’t.” And then it more or less repeated. I don’t understand that boy.
Coffee and Marie’s creepy phone and hand. Bread company is the best. I think I could live off of their pumpkin muffies, you know, in case you were wondering.
Look how cool these are. I was going to buy one but then…ummm…I really didn’t care. But it’s a cool idea. Kudos, creative British person.
The reason I’m not dating anyone is because (among other reasons) no man will ever compete with my Robin Hood. Yes, the animated 1973 Disney movie Robin Hood where he’s a fox. Have you seen that movie? How can every little girl (and 17 year old girl…) not completely love him? Unfortunately, he has set the bar too high and I’m not about to lower my standards, so I’m going to die alone with my cats, whistling that annoying song at the beginning of the movie.
Word of the day: meshugana. Noun. Yiddish. Used in a sentence: Having a cold that is making me sound like a cross between Darth Vader and Chewbacca and having to live in a world where 18 year old guys have successful perfume lines is gonna drive me meshugana.