Mid-week Crisis: A German rap song a day keeps the doctor away. Except I have a horrible cold, so that’s a lie.

I woke up the other day with an awful cold. Like a no-voice-head-hurts-I-want-to-go-punch-a-wall cold. Apparently I’m aggressive when I get sick? The first few days I sounded like Chewbacca, if that gives you a nice mental picture. So to help with my sore throat I’ve been downing cough drops like they’re going out of style. Apparently Halls thinks I have low self-esteem because there are motivational speeches on the wrappers.

Uhhh, that’s not weird. And, no offense, but they really don’t help. You should fire the guy who came up with that idea and hire me instead, because I reeeaaallllyyyy need some money…

My friend Marie and I make CDs for each other a lot and it’s nice to see that her taste in music is just as weird as mine. A few CDs back she gave me this song. Needless to say I love that guy and have memorized all the lyrics to that song. Yes, I know the words to a German rap song. Just when we all thought I couldn’t get any cooler… I had no idea what he was saying until about 10 seconds ago when I looked up the English lyrics. Don’t. It’s basically about him burning down his house and killing his goldfish. Just watch the video.

I went to a bookstore the other day just to find that someone had stolen the name of my autobiography. Jerk.

I’m getting Fringe season 2 disk 4 from Netflix on Thursday, and I just bought a Fringe hoodie. I have a problem and someone needs to intervene. Now.

Three words: Justin. Bieber. Perfume. Between that and his nail polish line I’m having a hard time trying to believe he really is a guy.

I love Halloween. And apparently you get weird looks from the employees at Walgreens when you take a picture of the candy at their store, which explains why it’s so blurry. My mom was like, “Uhhh, take the picture now and let’s move. People are staring…”

I walked into my room the other day to find Corrupted Brother sitting on my beanbag, staring off into space, and singing a song about how the freckle on his stomach won’t go away. The refrain went “Freckle me, freckle me, freckle me, why am I not in the superhero squad? Go away, freckle. Oh wait, you can’t.” And then it more or less repeated. I don’t understand that boy.

Coffee and Marie’s creepy phone and hand.  Bread company is the best. I think I could live off of their pumpkin muffies, you know, in case you were wondering.

Look how cool these are. I was going to buy one but then…ummm…I really didn’t care. But it’s a cool idea. Kudos, creative British person.

The reason I’m not dating anyone is because (among other reasons) no man will ever compete with my Robin Hood. Yes, the animated 1973 Disney movie Robin Hood where he’s a fox. Have you seen that movie? How can every little girl (and 17 year old girl…) not completely love him? Unfortunately, he has set the bar too high and I’m not about to lower my standards, so I’m going to die alone with my cats, whistling that annoying song at the beginning of the movie.

Word of the day: meshugana. Noun. Yiddish. Used in a sentence: Having a cold that is making me sound like a cross between Darth Vader and Chewbacca and having to live in a world where 18 year old guys have successful perfume lines is gonna drive me meshugana.

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11 thoughts on “Mid-week Crisis: A German rap song a day keeps the doctor away. Except I have a horrible cold, so that’s a lie.

  1. Awwwww Robin Hood. I love him. 24 year old girls can have crushes on an animated fox, too. So there. :D
    I hope your cold goes away soon! Colds are the WORST. But on the bright side, having a weird voice is usually really fun. You can fool so many people with it! :D

    I don’t get Justin Beiber’s perfume and nail polish lines, either. I just wanna go up and shake him and say “You’re a BOY. Make COLOGNE and… whatever it would be that could replace fingernail polish in a masculine way… BAAAHHHHH.”
    Sigh.

    • I feel better now :) He’s just so much swankier than any other Disney prince. It is fun having a Clint Eastwood voice.

      Haha I’d like to see you do that. And then afterwards you could do his makeup. Or…uhhh…fix his makeup.

      • Leather gloves! A manly replacement for nail polish would be leather gloves. But I kind of feel that if Justin Beiber came out with a line of leather gloves, they’d be ruined by association. :/

  2. I love so much about this post, I’m not sure where to begin!!
    First off, I’m really sorry you have a cold, and that Walgreens employees don’t understand the importance of taking pictures of their candy aisle. Those are both sad things for sad times. :(
    But hold up!! I recognise all those things in that picture of foods! I see our Panera chips, and someone had an Asian Seasame Chicken Salad, for there are remnants in the bowl, someone had soup that is now gone, oh my goodness, pumpkin muffies are the bomb! And what’s that? A chocolate pasty! (croissant). Amazing. :D Oh, is it called The Bread Company where you are? Ours is Panera Bread. :) But it’s all the same wonderful food! I don’t work again until tomorrow night, but now I’m hungry for our food!
    Rimmel is the best makeup. Not just because it’s from London. Okay, that’s reason enough. But I love their eyeshadow. My entire makeup cabinet is made up of Rimmel products. :D Way to represent! Woo!
    I totally, totally agree with you about Robin Hood the foxy fox. I love him.

    • I’m more upset over the Walgreens employees not having a sense of humor…

      I forgot you worked at Panera! Fun fact: Panera started here in St. Louis. I’m not sure why all the restaurants aren’t called the same thing… St. Louis Bread Company is so much harder to say too. And you totally were spot on with all the foods, Nancy Drew. I was the one who had the Asian Sesame Chicken Salad. That’s kind of the only thing I ever get there. Marie got a bowl of Broccoli Cheddar and a Tomato Mozzarella panini. I always feel like I should branch out and try something else from their menu, but I chicken (no pun intended) out last minute because that salad is so good. I did try the caramel latte (I think that’s what it was? All I know was that it was delicious), and you can’t go to Bread Co./Panera without getting a pumpkin muffie. That’s just not acceptable.

      It is awesome. I got some liquid eyeliner from them. I’ve attempted to put it on four times today. Let’s just say I’m not cut out to be a cosmetologist.

      He is quite foxy, and his accent makes him that much more amazing ;)

      • That’s super weird! When you type the word W a l m a r t, it changes it to Walgreens in the comments! =O

        I actually knew that about the St. Louis Bread Company, but I wasn’t sure if maybe you were calling it just “Bread Company” to hide your location. :) But here’s another fun fact: The rewards cards work at all Paneras! Even if yours say SL Bread Company and ours say Panera Bread! Mmm… no, I’ve tried everything on our menu (and then some, because I know how to edit the heck out of things to build my own sammich) and since everything is good there, I don’t judge if you always order the same thing. ;)

        Oh, it took me forever to master liquid eyeliner. You have to use a weird mixture of boldness and caution. I imagine surgeons go through similar stress. ;P

  3. 1. So sorry you have a cold. I hope you feel better! Last night I pretty much felt like I was going to die because I had a sudden stomach bug something or another, but I’m good today. Colds can be ridiculously horrible too, though – so I hope you get better soon. Plus, it really stinks to get sink during school because then you get all behind and have to catch up on sooo much. Blech.

    2. Justin Bieber. There are not words enough to describe my extreme dislike of that guy. Perfume?? Seriously?? Something is seriously twisted with that guy…

    3. Robin Hood is amazing. :D

    -Tia

    • Being sick is the worst :P I know, I’ve done school today. I think you should get a get out of jail free card for school work when you’re sick. If that makes sense…?

      Ugh. Seriously.

      I’m so glad everyone else loves him too! Robin Hood is my favorite Disney movie, and probably one of my favorite movies ever :)

  4. Hey, alles glänzt, so schön neu.
    Hey, wenn’s dir nicht gefällt, mach neu.
    Die Welt mit Staub bedeckt, doch ich will sehn wo’s hingeht
    Steig auf den Berg aus Dreck, weil oben frischer Wind weht
    Hey, alles glänzt, so schön neu!

    • Isn’t that insane? I need to find the person that decided perfume and nail polish lines for a guy was a good idea, and then slap them upside the head. Ok, not literally. Well…maybe literally…

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