Mid-week Crisis: There’s a bacon shortage. Excuse me while I go cry…

1. I’m officially the oldest of 7. Ta da. My brother was born last week and he’s pretty dang adorable. Only problem is that I’m torn between calling him Seven (which is what my friend calls him), or Spiderbaby (which is what Corrupted Brother calls him) on my blog. I might use both, so don’t get confused. Or I could just call him by his full name, which is Spiderbaby Gotham. Quite a name to live up to, huh? I thought so too. So to make him extra manly, I stuck him in an American Girl Doll dress and ear muffs and took pictures. Let the corruption begin…

2. Is it totally depressing that I watched this, uhhh, twice? I would have replayed it, but it’s 9 minutes long. Boo.

3. My friend’s 17th birthday was a few days ago and I got her a bacon and cheese double steakburger from Steak n Shake as a birthday present. As lame as that is, she got me a cheep-o fan from her trip to Spain for my birthday. I think I win. Because I was missing Heath Ledger that day, I got a Heath Bar shake, which was a total mistake. They totally skimped on the Heath bits and they used banana ice cream instead of vanilla. Banana. BANANA. It was so disgusting…that I finished off the entire thing. But seriously, I think Steak n Shake needs to give me a free shake or something. After we finished off our food, we played hangman with her 15 year old brother and their Spanish exchange student (rocking birthday, huh?). I’m not sure how this happened, but this was one of the games.

4. That awkward moment when you wear a bow on top of your head and accidentally signal that you’re out to get yourself a man.

5. This was on the back of a jelly jar. In case you can’t read it, it says, “Made with organic sugar from an ethical and environmentally friendly source certified EcoSocial by IBD.” Where do I even start…

6. And I still haven’t seen Looper or Premium Rush. Nope. Is Premium Rush still in theaters? How dare I call myself a Joseph Gordon-Levitt fan.. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE GO SEE THEM WITH ME?! I need my stupid license so I can drive myself to see a JGL movie alone. And the sad part is that actually sounds really wonderful.

7. Not. Cool. I’m stocking up.

8. I’m on a bit of a Russian author kick right now. Currently on my nightstand/floor since I don’t have a nightstand is Cancer Ward. And a book called Easy Microwaving that came out in the 70s. People were way too impressed with microwaves back then… But anyway, Cancer Ward. It’s such a great book. So incredibly long and I can’t keep the characters’ names straight, but it’s great. Aaannnddd that’s about it. Note to self: never tell that story again.


7 thoughts on “Mid-week Crisis: There’s a bacon shortage. Excuse me while I go cry…

  1. A BACON SHORTAGE???????? SHUT THE FRIDGE DOOR…. And a WORLD SHORTAGE to boot??? Dear Lord above us, I’m off to buy an additional freezer to stock pile, why don’t they just make more pigs? Pigs love copulating so I expect they would be well up for it…

    In unrelated news congrats on the new addition, maybe you could call him Oink? Or Piglet? That would be cute

  2. I almost wept when I read your headline. Fortunately, I have just discovered a local grocer that has _awesome_ ground pork. So, guess what? I have had pork products (or bacon fat soaked rice) every day since. Bring on the lard!!! :-D

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