When visiting the Fox Theater, try not to get squashed by falling elephants.

The only problem (?) with my mom having another kid is that people keep bringing us meals. Delicious meals that I don’t have to make, which are really the best kind. Tonight’s was especially delicious and I hope I – as a food blogger – didn’t intimidate you too much, Mrs. W. We all enjoyed dinner tremendously. That being said, because we keep getting meals, I can’t make anything for my blog because we really have no room in our fridge for any more food. That might be because we have the smallest fridge on the planet that’s a billion years old and totally falling apart. There’s also no ice maker in it and my siblings enjoy leaving one ice cube in each ice cube tray and then putting them back in the freezer. Don’t even get me started.

The other day I got to go on a tour of the Fox Theater. For those of you who aren’t cool enough to live in St. Louis like I am, well, I’ll pray for you. Especially if you’re from Chicago. Does anyone know why St. Louisians and Chicagoans fight? Yeah, me neither. All I know is we always win. Especially when it comes to being in the NLCS this year. Too soon?

Back to the Fox. In my humble opinion, it is one of the most amazing parts of St. Louis. I’ve been to a bunch of shows there, like Wicked, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Celtic Thunder (my friend and I were scared we were going to get kicked out of that one…oops? Team Damian McGinty.), but really haven’t seen much of it. The shows I usually go to are late at night and you can’t really stick around afterwards to look at stuff when it’s dark and 5,059 other people are trying to leave the theater. Last weekend I was able to go on a tour of the entire theater. The tour guide said that that day was one of only 60-65 days a year when there weren’t any shows that night, so we could go backstage. You’re jealous already. But wait, it gets better.

Right when you walk into the Fox you’re kind of overwhelmed with how huge the lobby is. Well, at least I was. The whole theater is very elegant and dark and mysterious. The elegant part was nice, but the dark and mysterious didn’t make for such great pictures. And I hate using a flash. True story.

After leaving the lobby, we went to the auditorium. It was really nice to sit in the first row because the closest I’ve ever been to the stage is 6 rows from it. But that was when I saw High School Musical, so it totally doesn’t count. Not only is there an organ in front of the stage that’s been there since the theater opened in 1929, but it rises from the ground. It made me want to start up organ lessons again. Kinda. The man who played it for us said that if he plays the notes with the biggest pipes, the foundation of the theater shakes.

I had to restrain myself from pushing him off the bench and finding the foundation-shaking pipes, because how cool would that be? The pipes, not me pushing someone off a bench. Well, maybe.

There’s a chandelier above the orchestra section that I’m seriously scared is going to fall on me every time I sit beneath it. Turns out if it does fall, I’d be quite flat. The chandelier is 12 feet in diameter and weights 5000 pounds. It also takes 30 minutes to lower it. Kind of like the ball in Times Square on New Year’s Eve…except I can safely watch that on my tv and I don’t have to multitask watching the guys from Celtic Thunder do spins in kilts and keeping an eye on the chandelier so I don’t die.

After leaving the auditorium, we went on a tour of the rest of the theater. We rode in an old elevator (I’m going to say it’s called a crank elevator…? All I know is that the tour guide raised it up manually. And there was a creepy dude standing awfully close to me the entire time.), went into the men’s and women’s lounge, and saw the box seats. Dear Fox Theater, are you listening to how nicely I am talking about your theater? May I please have box seats? Or at least a free ticket to see Wicked this December? Yes? Fantastic.

There are elephants throughout the entire theater. An elephant with a raised trunk is a sign of good luck. Hence this super scary elephant right above the stage.

Wouldn’t it be ironic if that elephant fell on someone? Hey, just saying.

This is a ghost lamp. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Wow, I could seriously go for some waffles right now.” Oh wait, that’s me. You’re thinking, “That’s ugly.” We both have slightly strange thoughts. That must be why we’re such good friends. But yes, it’s hideous. Want to know what it’s used for? They turn on the ghost lamp after every show and leave it on until the beginning of the next one so the ghosts in the theater don’t run into each other. Now the theater’s haunted. Luckily I’ve watched one too many episodes of Ghost Adventures because I knew that if I ran into a ghost, taunting them would only make them follow me home and haunt me forever. Thank you, Zak Bagans.

See look, more elephants. These are on the carpet in the audition room. All of the elephants in the theater have their trunks pointing towards the stage. It’s really cool, actually.

Then we got to go on stage. This is what the performers see. Blech. I would be so nervous…

And these are props in front of a bunch of scary electrical wires. Does anyone else ever have that feeling when they’re up really high on a balcony or staircase that they’re going to throw themselves over the edge for no reason? I kind of felt that way about the wires. I was like oh my gosh, it’s going to be like that scene from the Psych episode Tuesday the 17th when the guy pushes the other guy into the wires and he gets electrocuted. This and waffles are pretty much the only things I think about. And ironic falling elephants.

This was on the stage. The picture’s a bit blurry, but I had to take a picture of it because there was a old man next to me who said, “They didn’t put a date on it. How the heck are you supposed to know when next week is? Crazies…” We’re best friends now.

The walls leading from the stage to the dressing rooms are covered with signatures of people from every show since the theater reopened over 30 years ago. How cool is that?

I unfortunately didn’t get any pictures of the dressing rooms because I didn’t want people in any of my shots. No seriously. A majority of the people there were wearing ratty jeans and tee shirts, and I didn’t want them ruining a perfectly good photo. I know, I have issues. But I can describe the rooms to you. If you’re a star, you get a super fancy dressing room with couches and a tv. If you’re a schmuck, you get stuck in a small room with 24 other people, and the walls and floors are an incredibly depressing shade of white. It’s so small there’s no way the fire marshal would allow the maximum occupancy to be more than 2 oompa loompas, a fig newton, and an ant. Moral of the story? Unless you want to develop claustrophobia, don’t go into acting.

I’m not obsessed with Wicked.

Going on the tour made me really want to be on Broadway. Unfortunately that would require me being able to sing, dance and/or act. I really don’t see that happening since I don’t sing much, I was told by my ballet teacher that I wasn’t a ballerina (I was like well, on that note, I quit. You big meanie.), and the last play I acted in was when I was in 5th grade. I played elf #2 in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I had three whole lines. So basically I’ll never be on Broadway. Oh well. I’ll just go see Wicked later this year with the free tickets I’m getting from the Fox. Right?

Oh and Beth, this is for you.

AND my blog got its 35,000th  page view today. I love you guys.


9 thoughts on “When visiting the Fox Theater, try not to get squashed by falling elephants.

    • Isn’t it amazing? If you ever come visit, we definitely have to see a show there. I really want to see Phantom. We could also go up the arch, since I’ve lived here for 17 years and never been up it. I’m a failure to my hometown.

      • haha that’s alright. We have this famous hotel here (the Hotel Monte Vista) that is apparently haunted and bazillions of famous people have stayed there, including John Wayne. It’s pretty epic…but I’ve never been there. *sigh*


        • Ooooh, haunted. Me no so good with the haunted stuff. I got the heebie jeebies after the guide whipped out the ghost lamp. I also got the heebie jeebies when this one 20ish year old dude was creepily staring at me the entire tour. Why do I attract the weirdos?

          • My feelings exactly. Why do I attract creeps?? At least he was still 20ish. Its the 30ish and 40ish that really creep me out. Bleh….

            Haha, yeah I’m not so good with haunted stuff either, but whenever I think of haunted stuff, I think of the Phantom, and then I’m okay. ;)


  1. Yesss. I love the Fox. Every time I go (meaning I’ve been there once) I sit and stare and pretend that it’s perfectly normal to be sitting in a theatre that could have been the set of Phantom of the Opera. ahhh! :)

    • You’re going again soon :) I wish I could see it with you but alas, Justin Bieber trumps French plays.

      But seriously, I have to see Phantom of the Opera there. Like now. Just to see the chandelier drop. Although it’s pretty awesome when Elfie melts into the floor in Wicked. The Fox is so cool.

  2. Thanks for the shout out Picco, you have given me the confidence to try and cook maybe once more for a mom who has had a baby!

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