1. I don’t even want to talk about the baseball game Monday night. It was depressing. No, it was beyond depressing. The first 30ish seconds of this video sum up my feelings about the game. Once it gets to the part where the baseball team actually starts playing well is when it stops reminding me of the game and I get all sad again. Good thing when Joseph Gordon-Levitt asked, “Dad, when are we gonna be a family again?” his dad didn’t answer, “When the Cardinals win the pennant.” because then they’d never be a family and Joe would die a poor orphan with a bad haircut. Seriously, who’s the stylist for the movie that thought his hair looked good? *sigh* I’m acting like we’ve never won the World Series…even though we did last year. And in 2007. I was just hoping we’d win this year.
Although we lost, I did gain a bit of an affinity for the rookie pitcher Joe Kelly. Here he is using his bare hand to try to catch the ball Hunter Pence hit. No glove, and that thing was flying at him at the speed of light. He was great for the entire 2/3 of the inning that he pitched.
Oh, and Hunter Pence scares me. And as Sister Celiac said, ‘Aubrey Huff? What, did they run out of boy names?” You Giants have some weird people on your team. Although I like Brandon Crawford and Buster Posey. And that’s it. Thanks for making us look like an awful team, Giants. Gosh.
2. What are you being for Halloween? I’m being Deb from Napoleon Dynamite. My oldest youngest brother (that makes sense, right?) Future Chef is being Napoleon, and my mom and I are trying to convince Sister Celiac to be either Pedro or Kip. We’ll see how this goes… If you’re not sure what you should dress up as, might I suggest being a St. Louis girl? “But Picco,” you ask. “What does being a St. Louis girl require?” I shall tell you, my dear internet friend. First, you must buy a pair or 15 of those Nike running shorts with the little swoopy cutout on the leg. Know what I’m talking about? Once you decide on which pair to wear, fold the waistband over once, and it’s time to find a shirt. Unfortunately the only type of shirt you can wear is a tee shirt, but you can choose between wearing a shirt from a race you ran, your school picnic, or wearing a tie dye one. Maybe you can even opt for a tie dye shirt from a race you ran at your school? Be sure to half tuck in your shirt to your shorts. This shows the world that you’re like totally a nerd, but still super cool. Now let’s talk shoes. You have a few more options in the shoe department. You may chose from moccasins, Toms, Uggs, or running shoes. Whichever option you pick, you must wear them with black Nike socks that go a few inches above your ankle. As for your hair, it must be stick straight and either worn down or pulled back into what I call an “I don’t care” ponytail.” This ponytail must be incredibly messy and look like you just tied it back quickly so you could take a picture of your new Nike shorts and stick it on your Instagram. In reality, this hairstyle takes quite a few minutes to perfect, but you didn’t hear it from me. If it’s pulled back, you need to wear a headband with it. Extra points if the ponytail is slightly off to one side. Be sure to tuck your iPhone into the waistband of your shorts. Also, you need to have either an unnatural attempted-raspy low voice or a voice so giggly and high that it makes me want to slap you upside the head with a dead fish. There you have it. You’re a St. Louis girl. I am not like this at all. Ugh.
3. I went out to lunch with a friend the other day at Pappy’s here in St. Louis. If you’re ever in the area, I definitely recommend going to it. We had to wait in line for about 45 minutes until we got to order, but I think it was worth it. If you don’t totally love it it’s probably not worth the wait, but then I’d deem you insane. I got a pulled pork sandwich, sweet potato fries, and coleslaw. Yum. When we were waiting in line, the employee handing out menus attempted to chat it up with us. He asked where I went to school and when I said I was homeschooled he did a weird nervous chuckle and started talking to my friend. I obviously intimidate people (?).
4. I taught Evil Scientist brother long division in 5 minutes and now he won’t stop doing it.
This is a conversation that went down between my brother and sister the other day:
Evil Scientist Brother: Does “opportunity” mean a chance to do something?
Sister Celiac: Yeah, it does.
Evil Scientist: *sinister grin* Perfect…
And he walked away. That boy will take over the world one day. Please be careful.
Also, I have a story about how I got questioned by an FBI agent the other day, but I’m going to save that for the next post because this is getting long.