Just an introvert girl living in a loud world.

You know what’s wrong with the world? People don’t think before they speak.

The other day Sister Celiac was talking to a girl about my new brother. The girl asked, “So, how’s your baby brother?” When my sister said that he’s great, the girl said, “Oh cool. Is there anything wrong with him?”

I’m sorry, what? What if he was born with three arms and we were going to have one surgically removed but didn’t want anyone to know about it? My sister isn’t even KIND OF friends with this girl, so why should she tell her, “Well, we’re not really telling anyone, but he’s actually a monkey.” Oh great, now you guys know our secret. This is awkward.

I know quite a few people that I simply can’t have a normal conversation with. Now granted, most of them are teenagers, but I’m not sure how good of an excuse that is. A good conversation consists of asking questions and telling stories, right? If I’m ever talking to one of those people, the conversation is just them talking over me and bragging or making stupid comments. They always feel the need to one-up me in everything. I once had a guy ask me how long I’ve played violin. When I told him 14 years, he immediately told me how he’s played for 6 years and had already learned Mozart’s hardest concerto. Dear Child Prodigy, as my dad always says, “If you have to tell me how great you are, you’re not.” Also, I heard you play and I’m not going to comment on it because I have nothing nice to say.

Better yet is when people don’t just say rude things, but actually do rude things. I can ignore the girl who told me my legs were so big she had no idea how I could fit them into my skinny jeans (When I’m around that girl I have to use every nice molecule in my body to restrain myself from kicking her in the shins. I’ve been successful so far…), but when you forcefully take a drink out of my hand telling me how bad it is for me, then we have a problem.

I’ll admit that I’m very quiet. I’m not as shy as I used to be, but I’m definitely an introvert, and apparently there’s something wrong with that. There’s nothing I hate more than being told I’m quiet. Ok, maybe I hate it second to running my hip into the corner of a table. You do not know pain until you do that. When people tell me I’m quiet I just want to be like, “NO. WAY. I seriously had no idea. Thank you so much for enlightening me,” but I don’t because, hello, introvert. Don’t really talk much. I actually used to get really upset over it. Sometimes to the point of tears. I’m not sure exactly what made (and still sort of makes) me so upset. What I’ve sort of figured out is that since our world is so loud and no one can sit still, I’m the outcast because I’m not dominating a conversation or wanting to party every Friday night or constantly flirting with guys. Because, you know, as if I don’t have a hard enough time fitting in as is. One of the many pros of being introverted is that I think before I speak. Actually, I over-think and run through what I’m going to say 5 times in my head and by the time I’m comfortable to say it, the topic has already changed. Oh well. Better to be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt, right?

Not to go all psychology on you guys, but what do you think causes people to feel like they can say whatever they want? Is it a lack of manners? Class? Or just insecurity? Or maybe the world just needs more introverts. I’d be totally chill with that.

Also, I used to collect those white pieces of paper at the bottom of Reece’s peanut butter cups. I was a weird kid.

Halloween Candy Cookies

(This recipe is from the back of the box. More or less. I added the candy bit because we have so much Halloween candy left over.)

1 package King Arthur gluten free cookie mix

1/2 cup soft butter

1 large egg

2 tablespoons water

8 frozen Reece’s peanut butter cups, chopped

1/2 cup M&Ms

1.Preheat the oven to 350F.

2. Put about half the cookie mix in a bowl, and beat in the butter. It’s especially fun to beat the butter with the arm you got a flu shot in. Yeah.

3. Beat in the remaining cookie mix, scraping the sides and bottom of the bowl. Add the Reece’s peanut butter cups and M&Ms.

4. Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheet, leaving about 2″ between cookies. Gently squish cookies 1/2″ thick. Ok, it said flatten on the box, but I definitely squished the cookies.

5. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Remove from oven and let cookies cool on the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a rack to cool completely.

6. Devour. Om nom nom.

This post is in no way sponsored by King Arthur, but I wish it was. Please. I’m not asking for much. Maybe just a few boxes of your cookie mixes or some money. I’d definitely enjoy money.

9 thoughts on “Just an introvert girl living in a loud world.

  1. I yearn for quiet folk, introverts have yet to be invented in India, (why anyone has a cell phone I’ll never know you could hear their conversations in Tibet.) On the plus side you do have a really cool baby monkey/superhero/brother, maybe he can avenge fat leg girl? I believe courts are very lenient with monkey/superhero babies

  2. This looks positively delicious, and if I don’t try the recipe soon, I will hate myself for depriving me. With that preliminary statement out of the way…

    I admit that when I turned 20, my first thought was, “YES!! Now I can’t be classed with teenagers!” It was due to the general rudeness of our generation of teenagers that made me feel that way. It’s sad, but you’re not alone in despairing over it. And I’m an extrovert! But I hope I’m a nice one. :) I’m quiet when I first meet a person, but if comfortable and left without interruption, I definitely can dominate a conversation. I don’t mean to take over, but if I’m not sharing a personal experience or have something enthusiastic to say, I feel like the other person will think I’m not interested in continuing the conversation. So if I like someone, I’ll get totally carried away with chattering in the hopes that’ll keep the flow going. My sister is an introvert, though, and I love her to death. Also, my best friend is one, too… hmm. There was a point to this… I guess it’s that the world needs both extroverts and introverts. But it needs courteous ones. And I think you’re pretty special, and I wish I didn’t get myself into trouble by speaking without thinking. Because I’m awkward like that.

    • Hey, I love extroverts! One of my good friends is one :) I feel like I feed off of other people’s emotions (if that makes sense?), so being around her when she’s happy and bubbly makes me happy too. I completely agree; we need a nice balance of intro/extroverts. But introverts that are a little more confident and extroverts that are a little less, if you get my drift ;) Um, you’re totally special and have the coolest hair ever. My friend Marie (she sometimes comments on your blog) and I talk about you ALLLLL the time. We pretty much wish we were you.

  3. Your writing about being an introvert is really interesting. I love thinking about things and reading what other people think about. I have a similar problem to yours. While not quite painfully shy, I’m definitely not the life of the party or the loudest person in a conversation, usually. My whole life I’ve preferred to sit back and listen to the conversation going on around me and think about what everyone is saying and why. It’s fascinating. Then someone would say, “hey, Carey! You haven’t said anything! Join the conversation! What’s going on in your mind?” And first I’d feel confused because I felt like I’d been as intensely a part of the conversation as anyone else and had commented on everything that had been said, but then I’d realize that all that had been going on in my head and to everyone else I was, well, quiet. Then I’d be mad because a lot of the time I don’t want to share what I’ve been thinking about. Those are my thoughts. You can’t have them. Mine. Now in the fascination of rambling about myself, I’ve forgotten the reason I wanted to comment. Oh yeah. It was what you said about the world needing more introverts. I’d be chill with that, too. Introverts are pretty much my favorite people. What I find interesting is how the world has come to sort of idolize the introvert. And by the world I guess I mean mostly Pinterest, where I follow you btw but not like a stalker. Your pins are awesome. Anyway. But all the dramatic pictures of a girl sitting by herself, captioned “I just want to be by myself sometimes….but I guess you think that’s a bad thing” or whatever, and everyone commenting “OMG TOTALLY MEEE”, or all the stuff about wanting the library not marrying the prince or being addicted to books or being a book person not a people person, etc. etc. etc. make me think that an extrovert coming across that kind of thing would immediately feel loud and obnoxious and obviously less wonderful a person than these delightful, cutesy introverts. And I don’t like that. I want extroverts to feel good about not being introverted because it’s not a bad thing, unless they say or do rude things like the terrible things you mentioned. Not being an extrovert, I probably couldn’t say exactly why they say things but maybe it has to do with your definition of introvert: thinking before you speak. Extroverts probably just plain don’t think before they speak and so anything that comes to mind is said right away. If they remembered to think first, then they’d be an introvert and not say it. I really don’t know. This is a lot longer than I originally intended so if you read all of it, thanks. :)

    Of course, the problem really could just be that I spend too much time on Pinterest.

    • EXACTLY. I think the definitions of introverts and extroverts has been skewed. Not all introverts stand in a corner and cry at a party, and not all extroverts do irresponsible things 24/7 or dye their hair Gwen Stefani blonde and chop it off so they look like Tom Felton (*ehem* Miley…although I’m not sure if she fits under intro/extrovert. I think she’s just…odd.). Kind of like it’s cool to be a “nerd,” it’s now cool to be introverted. But being a nerd doesn’t mean watching Doctor Who and wearing hipster glasses, just as being an introvert goes beyond staying at home reading (Twilight doesn’t count) and not speaking up. As much as I love who I am, there are definitely days where I wish I could speak up or go talk to someone I didn’t know without totally blushing. I almost envy extroverts to a certain degree. It takes a lot out of me to be outgoing and I get drained very easily, but I’m working on it coming more easily. It’s hard, but I’m working on it.

      Ah, Pinterest. I waste so much time on that wonderful, wonderful place…

  4. I think people say whatever they want because they were never taught manners. With all the stuff about how spankings/other forms of discipline are bad for self esteem and stuff, parents these days don’t really discipline their kids, and then their kids are brought up all rude and/or entitled because they got to do whatever they wanted to as a kid. Plus, they are insecure because they had no safe boundaries and no sense that their parents wanted to keep them out of trouble and protect them (by disciplining them when something is harmful/bad for them in other ways), so… perhaps people say whatever they want to say because they feel insecure and need to make themselves feel better?
    That’s my theory, anyway.
    But then there are also those people who just don’t really have a filter no matter how much they were taught. Ha! The trick is figuring out the difference between the two.
    And it’s really weird that the girl would ask if there was anything wrong with your new baby brother. I mean, of all the things to ask about a new kid, “is there something wrong with him” isn’t really the first thing that comes to mind.

    Also, I need these cookies, darn it. Sigh.

  5. I LOVED this blog post. The juxtaposition (how is that for a $2 word?!?) of the yummy pictures with your story of people’s rudeness was really interesting. I really got what you were saying about people commenting on your quietness. I am “big boned”. Hell, let’s be honest, I am fat. Not “I should have a reality show made about me” fat, just normal “buying the smallest size at the plus-sized store” fat. You would not believe the number of people who think that they have the right to tell me how bad for my health this is, how I should lose weight, what kind of exercise I should be doing, what supplements I should take. I have people walk up to me on the street, message me on facebook, visit me at home, send me emails. I just had a “gentleman” visiting my husband and I a few days ago – a guy we had only just met, tell me how great the Atkin’s diet is (yah, I can eat all the fatty bacon I want as long as I don’t touch a piece of fruit – that sounds healthy) and that I should be doing Tai Chi. Can I borrow your “super-baby” little brother to attack some of these rude people?

    Um. Sorry for the rant. Love your blog though!

    • Comments about weight are the worst. My whole life I’ve definitely been a stocky kid and it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve gotten down to what I should weigh for my age and height (although I’m still a little above it). Even though the comment about me not fitting into my jeans was from a girl I absolutely can’t stand, it still got to me. We’re shown all these pictures of celebrities who work out every day and eat a gust of wind for lunch and that’s what we’re expected to model ourselves after. And then on top of it, we have people feeling compelled to tell us how fat we are. Although I’ve really had every flaw I have pointed out to me at one time or another. Before I got braces, I was told I needed them. When I dyed my hair red, someone told me it was ugly. Eyebrows? Weird. Glasses? I need contacts. Acne? Here’s some medicine for that, and not in a nice way. And when I was probably 9 or 10, my ballet teacher told me I was too fat to be a ballerina. Some people are down-right awful. Also, society needs to change it’s idea of beauty so I can eat more. But in the meantime, we have a box of Little Debbie cupcakes that are calling my name. Whoops?

      And yes, I will definitely let you use my siblings to fight off rude people. I have a younger sister who probably should start wrestling or something because she’s that big and strong. She can beat them up and Corrupted Brother can use his spidey skills to attack them. Sound like a plan?

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