I read Pride and Prejudice a while back and I really didn’t love it as much as I was expecting to. The book is fantastic literature and Jane Austen is a very eloquent writer, but what Mr. Darcy has become outside the book bothers me and I cringed every time he was in a scene. Is there something wrong with me? Maybe. But I hate that all girls strive to marry Colin Firth’s character and won’t settle for anything less. If you have your heart set on finding that perfect man, you have to remember that of all the Bennet sisters, Mr. Darcy married Elizabeth. Maybe we’re not all meant to become Elizabeths because we don’t have her personality and confidence, but that doesn’t mean the other ones weren’t worthy of their own Mr. Darcy. All the sisters are very different and each of them is wonderful in their own way. Except Lydia. Whatever you do, do not become a Lydia. We live in a world of them. These girls are the ones who have become easy to get and throw themselves at guys, and I know too many of them. I really feel sorry for the girls because they’re viewed as fake and easy; usually even by the guys who are giving them attention. It’s funny to joke about haha, I don’t have a boyfriend, but when you become fixated on nothing but getting married and being distraught that no one proposed the second you graduated from high school, then that’s where we have a problem. I also secretly envy the Lydias. My flirting skills involve me awkwardly staring at guys and there might be some drool involved and I’m definitely rocking the vacant expressions.
I’m also guilty of looking for my Mr. Darcy in a way. While I’m definitely not interested in finding a husband or boyfriend right now, I sometimes get upset I don’t have more friends. I try to find my Mr. Darcy in friends and I fail miserably. I have this ideal vision of whom I want as friends and then I get sad when I don’t have them. I have a few very close girl friends, but as for guys, the only boy that I consider a friend also doubles as the only guy who has talked to me more than ten or fifteen times the entire time I’ve been in high school. It’s incredibly frustrating because the only time he’ll talk to me is when he’s not around the popular girls and guys. He’ll text me and occasionally email, but seriously won’t even acknowledge me around his friends. He’s also the guy who doesn’t want to go to college and told me just wants to party. Obviously, I don’t see us being friends once I leave for college next fall since we both have… different expectations from life… but when he actually pretends I exist, he’s extremely nice and has no idea how much I appreciate it. At the same time, it’s so hard looking at him and his friends and thinking why will they talk to the fake girls but not me? And what do the other girls have that I don’t? What I’ve realized is the people that I want to be friends with are actually people who would make me miserable. At one point I was one of the more popular kids (or at least was friends with the more popular kids), but the friends I drifted away from stayed popular and had competitions with other girls to see who could lose more weight while I left to go start a blog and an impressive collection of Converses. I used to beat myself up wishing that I was still close to those people, but I know that what they’ve become is nothing I want to surround myself with. The friends I do have are fantastic. They might not be the ones who always have Friday night plans, but they make me laugh, are always just as excited to talk about Downton Abbey as I am, and I absolutely love them all. The one guy friend I have is with his party friends (who used to be my friends) who are right for him, and I’m with the people who are right for me. Thankfully the college I’m going to has 3000 guys in it so I’ll realize that hey, there’s actually more than one boy my age who will talk to me. Whatever. People are seriously missing out right now. When I become super famous with my blog, my old friends will be crawling back to me. Then I’ll have to be like wait, why aren’t we friends? Oh yeah, it’s because you left me for the more “fun” people. Whoops, you made a dumb mistake. And then I’ll kick them in the shins and run away. Sounds like a plan to me.
You also make your own El Guapo. In perspective, my El Guapos aren’t bad at all. They leave me alone and I just occasionally have to deal with the evil eyes from distant acquaintances and their parents who don’t like me, and the guy who used to call me fat and apparently said horrible things about me to the point of his dad calling my dad to arrange a formal apology from the guy. I never found out exactly what he said, but he weighs 125 pounds and he’s 18 years old. I could squash him in a heartbeat. Ha. But other than that, some of the people I think hate me really just aren’t that interested in me. I pretty much always think that everyone’s out to get me… and this post is basically just a pep talk for myself. As someone once asked me, “Do you seriously think you’re that special that people are constantly talking about you?” And no, I’m not. I hate when people say smart stuff like that. Your enemies are what you make of them and chances are they don’t hate you, they just don’t view you as worth their time, so they avoid you. Or they’re secretly plotting your demise. I’ve heard it both ways.
In the end, there’s no Mr. Darcy to wait for because he doesn’t exist. You have to create him. Mr. Darcy wasn’t Mr. Darcy (Can I say Mr. Darcy more in this post?) at the beginning of the book. In fact, Elizabeth hated him, remember? And he wasn’t too fond of her either. So, what happened? Why did they fall in love and get married and live happily ever after? They changed their idea of perfection and stopped becoming prideful and prejudice (uh, hence the name). Don’t waste your life waiting for a drop-dead gorgeous hunk to fall at your feet singing your praises. That’s never going to happen. I’m definitely not saying lower your standards, but we have to accept the fact that maybe some of us aren’t meant to marry that Italian doctor or Christian Bale (WHY, CHRISTIAN. WHY?!) or be best friends with the popular skinny blonde girl. Your Mr. Darcy is what you make of him. So ladies, stop obsessing over finding the perfect person. If you don’t have a “best friend” or don’t get married for a while, don’t freak out. Strive to become so amazing that people are excited just to be in the same room as you. Do not settle for less than what you deserve, go out of your comfort zone to talk to people (because Prince Charming isn’t going to marry you if you won’t talk to him), and by all means educate yourself as much as possible. Remember that Elizabeth wasn’t stupid and, well, Lydia was. If college isn’t for you, at least read until your brain explodes and surround yourself with educated people. But if you don’t want to, then you need to wake up and smell the Dr. Pepper and realize that you’re actually looking for a Mr. Wickham, and I pity you. And gentlemen, please start wearing bow ties. Those things are cool.
I really need to learn to start talking more around other people so I don’t write the Great American Blog Post every time I have something to say. Sorry.