The Hobbit through the eyes of a non-Lord of the Rings fan. At all.

Let me start off by saying that I’m really not a big Lord of the Rings fan. I watched the movies a while ago and I might have read one of the books. I enjoy them, but I’m no diehard fan. So, I saw The Hobbit last Friday night. I was invited by a friend of the family, JJR, and his friend, The Brit. We decided to go to the 9:30 showing (totally not my idea. I’m not party animal and that was past my bedtime anyway.) and it didn’t get out until almost 1am. I even stayed awake the whole time. I’m growing up, guys.

cooked ground beef

On the way there, we were discussing what we thought our expectations were for it. I was going into it thinking that it would be like The Avengers: dumb but entertaining. Beforehand the Brit and JJR both thought it was going to be a 6 out of 10, and I gave it a zero. I figure if you have absolutely no expectations for things you’ll never be disappointed. That’s my motto. This has been life lessons with Picco. Apparently The Brit thought that I always have interesting critiques, and I wouldn’t want to let him down, so here are my thoughts.

First off, the previews were HILARIOUS. There were two for little kid movies, one for a rated R Al Pacino movie, a twilight wanna-be, and a transformers wanna-be. All looked incredibly stupid. During the movie all I could think about was Friday Night Boredom. The entire time I kept snickering to myself at totally inappropriate times because I was reciting lines from it to myself. Oh hey, you’re dying? Guess what I’m thinking? “I’m a woman. I like boys.” Also their hair was so voluptuous and perfect, and it made me jealous. Now for the non-superficial comments.

ground beef in crescent rolls

The violence was incredibly graphic. There was a lot of implied violence in the other 3 movies, but this one had up close beheadings and nasty stomach slicing.  The special effects were amazing, but I’m pretty sure they knew that because there were a lot of fast sweeping shots that almost made me feel sick. I also feel like they made it about an 45 minutes-an hour too long. Since there are going to be 2 other parts that I’m assuming are also going to be about 3 hours long, the whole Hobbit movie is going to be 9-10 hours long. Since the book isn’t that long, it seemed like they stretched the plot as thinly as possible so it could last longer. The movie seemed to drag on, but I couldn’t place why exactly. Parts of it felt like they were talking really slowly, but maybe it was just because I was getting sidetracked thinking about Friday Night Boredom and how earlier I successfully ripped a hole in my only pair of jeans. On the ride home, The Brit (being British) was talking about how he thought it was weird there were so many different accents in the movie. Apparently there were Hobbits with Welsh accents and some with Cockney accents. I told him, “Honestly, all I noticed was that they weren’t American.” Can people from other parts of the world not differentiate between the different American accents? Or am I just dumb…?

Although there was a lot I wasn’t too fond of, I really enjoyed it.  I really can’t critique the storyline much since I haven’t read the book, but I liked it. I don’t want to get shot-down like I was when I said I didn’t like Matthew from Downton Abbey. Actually, that was pretty funny… I do enjoy Matthew now, no worries.

ground beef and cream cheese in crescent rolls

I’m not entirely sure what to call these

The recipe can be found on Delena’s blog. I added cheese to the ground beef, in case you were wondering.

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2 thoughts on “The Hobbit through the eyes of a non-Lord of the Rings fan. At all.

  1. As a huge Tolkien fan, still gonna see it. And I will probably love it just because it is The Hobbit and it was made by Peter Jackson and has Ian McKellan and Martin Freeman (of whom I have been a fan since Love Actually).

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