It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all… right?

No cooking today. I just wanted to quickly post to ask for some prayers.

Back in the day, I met this girl, L, through my homeschool group. L is definitely one of the most vivacious people I’ve ever met and, at the time, probably the best friend I’d ever had. She made me a DVD for my birthday one year talking about how happy she was that we were friends, and it was so nice it made both me and my mom cry almost uncontrollably. It was always fun to go over to her house when I was younger and sneak drink coffee and jump on her trampoline at 2am. That’s about as rebellious as I was as a child… We were inseparable for years, but time has a funny way of slowly making people drift apart until you wake up one morning and realize that you aren’t even part of each other’s lives anymore. It was unspoken, but I know we both realized that we were just too different for each other. Our friendship ended with a fight and her basically saying I had to choose between her or another friend of mine – and I obviously chose the other friend. I’m not sure if continuing to be friends with L would have kept her from having the friends she does now, but our separate groups of friends have definitely molded us into completely different people. I still see her, but we’re not the twelve year old girls with the secret club and a mutual love of making things out of duct tape we used to be, and we’re both strangers to each other.

Last night her dad passed away. It came out of nowhere and it feels like there’s absolutely no way that he’s gone, especially since he was alive and well when I saw him a few weeks ago. I’m sort of in shock and really sad right now, but I can’t tell if I’m more sad that he’s gone or that L and I aren’t friends anymore and I can’t be there to help her like I wish I could.  She’s only sixteen and I know her dad was younger than fifty, and both are way too young for any of this to happen to them.

I asked around for L’s number and when I got it, I texted her letting her know I can’t even imagine what she’s going through and that I’m here to talk if she ever needs it. She thanked me and I felt like we were both able to be sincere with each other for the first time in years.

I would be thrilled if you all could send some prayers and good thoughts towards her, her mom, dad, and five siblings – the youngest of whom is just six years old. It’s sad that things like this make you realize just how short life is and that our time to go could be at any moment.

I’m not always the best with words, but I think this Lemony Snicket quote pretty much sums up everything else that I want to say:

It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.

Stay strong, L. I don’t know if we could be friends again at this point in our lives, but I really do miss the friendship we once had, and I am and always will be here for you.

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9 thoughts on “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all… right?

  1. Best of luck to her and her family. I wish there was some other way I could help rather than just prayers and nice thoughts…but I live in the Middle East.

    (Actually, I think I am single-handedly responsible for the 99 pageviews you have from Qatar. Go me!)

        • Eh, Australia, Canada. Same thing. How’d you end up in Qatar???

          The college I’m going to has a study abroad program for nurses in Australia. They have one in the Philippines too, but somehow I feel like I’d have more fun and meet more cool Australians in Australia. Just a guess. Also, I want to visit Perth and be super creepy and go to the cemetery where Heath Ledger is buried… Unless I discover a new-found love of rural Philippines, I might be going to your lovely country/continent soon, so tell everyone to get excited.

  2. I think, whether or not the two of you get back together as friends, you are still a good friend – you sent her your support and I guess that means more to her than you can imagine. And you have goodness knows how many people praying for her. Sometimes it is the things that we do for people that they never know about are the things that make us the best friends after all. Good for you.

    • I doubt that she’ll actually read this since I don’t think she reads my blog, but I wanted to get this off my chest and just put it out there. Thank you for your kind words. They definitely helped me :)

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