“I slipped into a sugar coma, woke up, and forgot how to blog” and other lame excuses for my blogging absence

It’s hard to blog when you’re spending all of your time going to concerts and working in a lab. And almost running over guys on motorcycles. Whoops.

After my mom, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m lazy. It’s a curse and a blessing. How it’s a blessing I’m not quite sure… but whatever. I’ve been trying to think up a good reason why I haven’t blogged in forever, but I’ve got nothing. I spoke with my neighbor today and she was the seventh person to ask me why my presence in Blog Land has been lacking. It’s actually really nice to see that my blog has a place in people’s lives, but still, I feel like I have nothing to talk about. I’m sitting here listening to German rap and staring at this near-blank Microsoft Word document wondering what stuff is going on in my life that would be interesting to other people. Also, I really want to know what’s being said in these songs. So basically I’m just going to start writing. I have no food pictures to put up today, but I will soon. I’ve been gone so long that WordPress logged me out of my account. Nothing says “Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out” quite like your own blog forgetting who you are. If you need me, I’ll be in a puddle of tears over in the corner.

A few weeks ago my lovely friend (who shall remain unnamed in case she doesn’t want people figuring out where she goes to college. Let’s just call her Spencer. That’s a girl’s name, right?) and I went to a concert at her college.  Neon Trees and Grouplove were the bands playing, and I’m pretty sure I introduced Grouplove to Spencer, so I get supermega brownie points for that. It was definitely one of the best concerts I’ve been to. Nothing can top seeing OK Go back in the day before they were popular, though. Spencer got us mosh pit tickets and we were front and center. Tyler Glenn, the lead singer of Neon Trees, and I had multiple bonding hand-holding moments and I’m pretty sure we’re best friends now. The opening band was called Capital Kings (I think? They weren’t too memorable.) and they were pretty awful. They were lip-syncing the whole time. WHO DOES THAT. You’re an opening band, no one was even at the concert yet, and you played for 20 minutes. Anyway, after they were finished and packing up their equipment, I was staring off into space and was oblivious to the fact that I was staring into the soul of one of the lipsyncers. He gave me a weird look and said, “Um, hey. How’s it going?” So I used my suave speaking ways and said “Uhhhhhh, good. What’s your tattoo of?” Nice save as always, Picco. He then showed me the tattoo on his arm and it said something about Jesus’ blood and salvation. I don’t know and honestly didn’t care. I just wanted to get myself out of what was probably the 50th awkward situation of the day.

And now for something completely different.

When I was little, I would go with my grandpa to his lab. He would tell me I could play on PBSkids.org (which was a treat since I hardly ever went on it and my parents deprived me of all that is fun.), but I would usually ask to do experiments. The experiments basically just consisted of looking in microscopes at blood and dust, but I thought it was fun. I wanted to be a doctor for a while before deciding on nursing. Well, actually I wanted to be a smoke jumper and parachute into forest fires. My mom put the kibosh on that rewarding career fairly quickly. My grandfather passed away a few years ago, but a few of the doctors he worked with are still at the lab. Since I wanted to do something science-y over the summer that would be fun and make hospitals think I look like a super smart science-y gal that they would want to hire, my mom got in contact with one of the doctors there and he offered to let me work in the lab over the summer. So last week I got there, he introduced himself to me, said I look exactly like my mother (You have no idea how often I get that. No, seriously. Look at the picture on my about page here and the similarities are shocking.), and then he proceeded to inform me he couldn’t draw my blood because I’m a minor. I too made that same confused face you’re making right now. Except I didn’t have Johnny Depp behind me like you do. PSYCH. MADE YOU LOOK. Turns out that they all draw each other’s blood on Mondays and then use their blood in experiments during the week. This has turned into a food/blood/life stories blog now. Sooo…The experiment that I’m going to be working on this summer is trying to find a way for drugs to enter red blood cells. I’ll keep you guys updated with the festivities that will ensue.

The other day I had my first driving lesson. The whole thing can be summarized like this. Okay, so I may be a few years late… especially since I’m almost 18… but what matters is that no one died and my driving instructor only had to grab the wheel once because I was going 20 mph and about to run into a parked car. And, like I said at the beginning, I almost ran into a motorcyclist. It was totally his fault, though. I was going old lady speed and he was zipping around cars. Unfortunately, I know the “points game.” Don’t know of this? It’s a secret game where things on the road are assigned point values. For example, if you think about hypothetically hitting a pedestrian, you get 5 points. Hitting someone over the age of 60 crossing the street gets 10 points taken away. And if you hit a smart car you get 50 points. And probably a place in heaven. All I could do was think of the game as I was driving, which sort of concerned me. But, no worries, my driving instructor told me multiple times that he was proud of my driving and St. Louis stops. For those of you who don’t know, a St. Louis stop is basically a rolling stop, and that’s being lenient.

Okay, I’ve talked enough. Thank you to my grandma, mom, godhusband (he and I are the godparents of Spiderbaby. *ehem* Awkward.), friend’s aunt, friend, neighbor, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt for guilt tripping me into blogging. I’ll get back on the blogging bandwagon and start cooking again too. Mmmkay bye.