As an American, I love baseball. And if you’re American and don’t love baseball, I think we need to go all Survivor on you and vote you off the island. If so, no matter how hard I plead, do not give me a tiki torch like they use on that show. I walked straight into a wall yesterday, so I can only imagine how I’d be around fire and baseball haters.
I think my love for baseball is equal to one of those crazy European football fans who will go beat up fans from the other team after a game. If you ever pass through St. Louis, you definitely need to hit up a Cardinals game. There honestly isn’t a bad seat in the entire stadium, and the higher up you go, the better a view of the arch and downtown you have. We are pretty dedicated, and a lot of diehard Cardinals fans will follow the team all over the United States. Our stadium is almost sold out every game too, unlike the Marlins who have had to close their upper deck because no one was coming to the games (too soon?). We even have our own hashtag. #cardinalnation. Look it up and count how many twitter users should probably have restraining orders against them. Did I mention we’re slightly intense when it comes to baseball?
Anyway, one of my best friends is equally as obsessed with baseball as I am. We’ve been to two games this season together and spent our entire life savings on both games. Well, more or less. The first game we got tickets right on the 3rd baseline since her favorite player David Freese plays 3rd base. Aside from our catcher Yadier Molina, my favorite player is the pitcher Joe Kelly. So, of course, we had to go to a game where we could be near the bullpen. I ordered the tickets off some sketchy website… well, Stubhub… and it was row 11 directly behind the bullpen. I thought eh, 11 rows from it isn’t bad. We went to the game the other night and couldn’t find row 11, but it turns out we were looking in the wrong place. Know where our seats were? FIRST ROW FROM THE BULLPEN. WHAT. Not only were we right above the bullpen, but we were right beneath where they shoot off the fireworks. One of the Cardinals — Matt Carpenter — got a homerun, so it was pretty awesome/frightening/deafening to be right below them.
Since we were that close, we not only could hear the pitchers talking, but we could hear the lame ringtone for the bullpen phone. It sounded like a phone from the 90’s. I half expected it to be covered in denim and scrunchies and for a bleached blonde Justin Timberlake to answer it.
It was one of the best baseball games I’ve ever been to. And the drunk guys next to us told us that we could be included in their inside joke, but we never actually found out what the joke was… Talk about a bummer.
Also, I’m pretty sure half of the MLB doesn’t speak English. A majority of our players sound like they’re speaking Google translator English. Just some last minute thoughts here.