My 18th birthday was August 4th, my graduation and birthday parties are long gone, and now I’m sitting here wondering how Corrupted Brother got my phone to play Candy Crush. Also, why is a 4 year old better at that game than I am? And why is he talking smack to himself? Why are we so weird.
But the craziest part of my life right now is the fact that I’m leaving tomorrow. For college. I’m rise and shining in the wee hours of the morning so I can make the long drive with my parents, Sister Celiac, and Spider Baby. I really haven’t cooked in a while, so I’ll just fill you in on what’s been going on the past few weeks.
I’ve always had an imaginary bucket list that I’ve never written down and don’t actually add stuff to. I just say I have one to be a cool cat. Although I’m pretty sure calling myself a cool cat cancels out all coolness that I might possess. One thing that I wish was on my imaginary bucket list was to go to a Plain White T’s concert. I’ve always liked them, even though their songs are kinda stupid and they don’t have the best voices. They came to St. Louis back in July and I asked around to see if anyone wanted to go with me. I could only find two friends to go with because, uh, their songs are kinda stupid and they don’t have the best voices. The concert was fantastic. There were probably 50 people there at the most, it was very laid-back, and we got to meet the somewhat beautiful lead guitarist, Tim Lopez. I told him if he ever came back to St. Louis there was another concert venue here that I preferred to the one we were at right then. He seemed genuinely interested and introduced himself and said he’d try to remember me for the next time they came in town. Why is it that I am better at making friends with celebrities than with normal people? Remember when I met Tyler Glenn from Neon Trees and the guys from Honor Society and we totally became best friends? Messed up, yo.
I got two Cardinals baseball tickets for my birthday, and it was probably one of my favorite presents. Of course I really appreciated all the money I got, but money can’t buy me love/baseball tickets, except for when it can (?). The friend I usually to baseball games with had to work that night, so I decided to ask a guy who I’m going to college with instead. Aren’t guys supposed to know all about sports? Because he was clueless. He was referring to the runs as “points,” and had no idea who any of the players were. I spent a majority of the game attempting to explain the rules to him and ignoring the drunk lady in front of us who kept offering to buy us booze for double the price. As if the night couldn’t get anymore wonderful, the tickets were right by the bullpen and my favorite pitcher was starting that night. Dear Joe Kelly, I know you’re getting married, but I’m single and ready to mingle if for some reason things with your fiancée don’t work out. Age is just a number, darling.
I had two graduation parties, actually. One was a combination birthday/graduation party, and the other was a luncheon with some of my neighbors. Both were retro themed but very different, and I’m not sure which one I preferred. Although I might have liked the luncheon better because LOOK WHAT SHOWED UP.
The woman who was hosting the party arranged to have this pick me up and drive me around. It was a 1940’s Oldsmobile that hadn’t been refurbished. One of my favorite parts was the built-in ashtrays on the armrests. Why don’t those exist anymore? We had been driving for about five minutes when the car ran out of gas. It was pretty funny, and if anyone wants to get me a belated birthday present, I would gladly accept that car. I finally have my license now. I only had to sit in the DMV for almost three hours the other day to get it. Missouri DMVs. Don’t even get me started. My Italian mother and I both were about to karate chop people in the face the entire time. We need to work on that…
I’m going to wrap this up right now because I’m leaving the house in 18 hours and I’m nowhere near packed. So far the only things that are really packed up are my shoes.
And yes, it is absolutely necessary to bring all of these. Mainly because I only have 4 pairs of non-Converse/Vans. Whoops? I’ll do my best to blog in a few days once I get settled in. Wish me luck.