Cow burps will be humanity’s downfall

Cows aren’t destroying the earth quite like humans, but those jerks are a close second. NASA said that cows emit 80-120kg of methane a year via burping, which is the equivalent of how much a family car gives off a year. So by not having a car and not eating meat I guess I’m saving the world? Sheep and goats produce methane too, so basically all animals suck and we should all try to eat less meat so we’re not jerks too.

quinoa rice blendI’m in month 8 of being vegetarian, and it’s much easier now than it was at the beginning. I now know which brands make good meat substitutes (hint: there are basically zero. Morning Star makes decent maple-flavored breakfast sausage, but that’s the only thing I’ve found that I like. If you have any recommendations hit me up, please), and how to make lentils not taste disgusting. Red meat doesn’t even sound appetizing anymore, and really the only thing I ever crave is Chick-fil-A. I passed my school counseling license exam last week, and afterwards I wanted to treat myself to a 12 piece nugget meal since I also finished my second 4.0 semester in a row. My sister had to remind me that, yes, chicken is in fact meat and just because I’m now a school counselor (pending graduation) and am a decent grad student doesn’t mean I should break my meat-free streak. So I got a veggie wrap and complained the entire time to my poor boyfriend who kept asking me if I was hangry. 

trying to spice things upI start my internship next week and I’ve been trying to figure out how to cheaply meal prep. Whenever I want lunch now it’s usually just a PB&J so I can make sure there’s protein in my diet. It’s a peanut-free school district, so PB&J is off the table, and since I have to be at the school from 7:45-3:15 and then work from 5-10 (thanks, unpaid internship), I need something easy and filling. I found a recipe for vegetarian burrito bowls, which is kind of deceiving because there’s really nothing burrito-y about it. It’s just quinoa, beans, and corn. Lunch and snacks for the week cost $24, which included $7 worth of hummus, so it could be much cheaper if I didn’t insist on trying to eat the entire family size tub by myself. These bowls took around 20 minutes to make and all I need to do before I leave in the mornings is slice up half an avocado and add some salsa.

quinoa rice burrito meal prepThe recipe called for romaine lettuce, but eating a salad every day just sounds horrid. That’s just not my jam. Sorry to yuck your yum if you like salad, but I somehow never figured out how to pick out lettuce and it’s always slimy and gross. The recipe also called for quinoa, but I’m officially sick of just quinoa by itself, so I bought a wild rice blend that also included it. I divided the mixture into 5 portions, and a bowl plus a little hummus and naan is absolutely enough food for me, but if you’re not a small female you might not be able to stretch this for the full week. If that’s the case, I feel like sautéed bell peppers or more beans would help bulk it up. But definitely don’t skimp on the fresh lime juice. Limes are like 30 cents, homie.

quinoa rice burrito bowlI got the recipe from Simply Quinoa and it’s delicious enough to eat for lunch every day for a while. I’ll probably try adding different veggies to make it a little healthier and add some variety, or I’ll just eat a lot of hummus and pretend that’s healthy.

Vegetarian Quinoa Bowls


  • 3 cups cooked quinoa (or a quinoa rice blend)
  • 1 15 oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1 cup corn, fresh or frozen
  • 1 teaspoon cumin
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 lime, juiced (plus an extra lime if you want to use it as garnish)
  • 3 avocados
  • 1/2 cup salsa


  1. Combine quinoa, black beans, corn (cooked and drained, if frozen), cumin, salt, and lime juice in a large bowl. Stir.
  2. Divide quinoa mixture into 5 containers (around 1 cup of mixture per bowl)
  3. Right before eating, add 2 tablespoons of salsa, half of an avocado, and a quarter of a lime if you’re fancy.

2 thoughts on “Cow burps will be humanity’s downfall

  1. Good to hear you are back!!!!! SO WHAT’S UP WITH YOU NOW THAT YOU’VE CHANGED
    MAJORS? I want to hear it all!!!!

  2. Hey there Picco,

    Thanks for your very well written narrative. Glad to see that you are continuing your Spoonlighting writing.

    Even though I live close to NASA, I had no idea that its research ranged from a Mars trip in space to cow burps on the range.

    Your range of acceptable edibles has been constricted somewhat. I thought peanuts were good for a person. I could send you a 40oz jar of PB (it was part of a BOGO deal), if that would be legal.

    Congrats on making such wonderful progress to becoming qualified (grad program and licensing) to practice your chosen profession.

    Look forward to your next Spoonful—no matter what the topic.

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