Just an introvert girl living in a loud world.

You know what’s wrong with the world? People don’t think before they speak.

The other day Sister Celiac was talking to a girl about my new brother. The girl asked, “So, how’s your baby brother?” When my sister said that he’s great, the girl said, “Oh cool. Is there anything wrong with him?”

I’m sorry, what? What if he was born with three arms and we were going to have one surgically removed but didn’t want anyone to know about it? My sister isn’t even KIND OF friends with this girl, so why should she tell her, “Well, we’re not really telling anyone, but he’s actually a monkey.” Oh great, now you guys know our secret. This is awkward.

I know quite a few people that I simply can’t have a normal conversation with. Now granted, most of them are teenagers, but I’m not sure how good of an excuse that is. A good conversation consists of asking questions and telling stories, right? If I’m ever talking to one of those people, the conversation is just them talking over me and bragging or making stupid comments. They always feel the need to one-up me in everything. I once had a guy ask me how long I’ve played violin. When I told him 14 years, he immediately told me how he’s played for 6 years and had already learned Mozart’s hardest concerto. Dear Child Prodigy, as my dad always says, “If you have to tell me how great you are, you’re not.” Also, I heard you play and I’m not going to comment on it because I have nothing nice to say.

Better yet is when people don’t just say rude things, but actually do rude things. I can ignore the girl who told me my legs were so big she had no idea how I could fit them into my skinny jeans (When I’m around that girl I have to use every nice molecule in my body to restrain myself from kicking her in the shins. I’ve been successful so far…), but when you forcefully take a drink out of my hand telling me how bad it is for me, then we have a problem.

I’ll admit that I’m very quiet. I’m not as shy as I used to be, but I’m definitely an introvert, and apparently there’s something wrong with that. There’s nothing I hate more than being told I’m quiet. Ok, maybe I hate it second to running my hip into the corner of a table. You do not know pain until you do that. When people tell me I’m quiet I just want to be like, “NO. WAY. I seriously had no idea. Thank you so much for enlightening me,” but I don’t because, hello, introvert. Don’t really talk much. I actually used to get really upset over it. Sometimes to the point of tears. I’m not sure exactly what made (and still sort of makes) me so upset. What I’ve sort of figured out is that since our world is so loud and no one can sit still, I’m the outcast because I’m not dominating a conversation or wanting to party every Friday night or constantly flirting with guys. Because, you know, as if I don’t have a hard enough time fitting in as is. One of the many pros of being introverted is that I think before I speak. Actually, I over-think and run through what I’m going to say 5 times in my head and by the time I’m comfortable to say it, the topic has already changed. Oh well. Better to be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt, right?

Not to go all psychology on you guys, but what do you think causes people to feel like they can say whatever they want? Is it a lack of manners? Class? Or just insecurity? Or maybe the world just needs more introverts. I’d be totally chill with that.

Also, I used to collect those white pieces of paper at the bottom of Reece’s peanut butter cups. I was a weird kid.

Halloween Candy Cookies

(This recipe is from the back of the box. More or less. I added the candy bit because we have so much Halloween candy left over.)

1 package King Arthur gluten free cookie mix

1/2 cup soft butter

1 large egg

2 tablespoons water

8 frozen Reece’s peanut butter cups, chopped

1/2 cup M&Ms

1.Preheat the oven to 350F.

2. Put about half the cookie mix in a bowl, and beat in the butter. It’s especially fun to beat the butter with the arm you got a flu shot in. Yeah.

3. Beat in the remaining cookie mix, scraping the sides and bottom of the bowl. Add the Reece’s peanut butter cups and M&Ms.

4. Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheet, leaving about 2″ between cookies. Gently squish cookies 1/2″ thick. Ok, it said flatten on the box, but I definitely squished the cookies.

5. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Remove from oven and let cookies cool on the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a rack to cool completely.

6. Devour. Om nom nom.

This post is in no way sponsored by King Arthur, but I wish it was. Please. I’m not asking for much. Maybe just a few boxes of your cookie mixes or some money. I’d definitely enjoy money.

Mid-week Crisis: A German rap song a day keeps the doctor away. Except I have a horrible cold, so that’s a lie.

I woke up the other day with an awful cold. Like a no-voice-head-hurts-I-want-to-go-punch-a-wall cold. Apparently I’m aggressive when I get sick? The first few days I sounded like Chewbacca, if that gives you a nice mental picture. So to help with my sore throat I’ve been downing cough drops like they’re going out of style. Apparently Halls thinks I have low self-esteem because there are motivational speeches on the wrappers.

Uhhh, that’s not weird. And, no offense, but they really don’t help. You should fire the guy who came up with that idea and hire me instead, because I reeeaaallllyyyy need some money…

My friend Marie and I make CDs for each other a lot and it’s nice to see that her taste in music is just as weird as mine. A few CDs back she gave me this song. Needless to say I love that guy and have memorized all the lyrics to that song. Yes, I know the words to a German rap song. Just when we all thought I couldn’t get any cooler… I had no idea what he was saying until about 10 seconds ago when I looked up the English lyrics. Don’t. It’s basically about him burning down his house and killing his goldfish. Just watch the video.

I went to a bookstore the other day just to find that someone had stolen the name of my autobiography. Jerk.

I’m getting Fringe season 2 disk 4 from Netflix on Thursday, and I just bought a Fringe hoodie. I have a problem and someone needs to intervene. Now.

Three words: Justin. Bieber. Perfume. Between that and his nail polish line I’m having a hard time trying to believe he really is a guy.

I love Halloween. And apparently you get weird looks from the employees at Walgreens when you take a picture of the candy at their store, which explains why it’s so blurry. My mom was like, “Uhhh, take the picture now and let’s move. People are staring…”

I walked into my room the other day to find Corrupted Brother sitting on my beanbag, staring off into space, and singing a song about how the freckle on his stomach won’t go away. The refrain went “Freckle me, freckle me, freckle me, why am I not in the superhero squad? Go away, freckle. Oh wait, you can’t.” And then it more or less repeated. I don’t understand that boy.

Coffee and Marie’s creepy phone and hand.  Bread company is the best. I think I could live off of their pumpkin muffies, you know, in case you were wondering.

Look how cool these are. I was going to buy one but then…ummm…I really didn’t care. But it’s a cool idea. Kudos, creative British person.

The reason I’m not dating anyone is because (among other reasons) no man will ever compete with my Robin Hood. Yes, the animated 1973 Disney movie Robin Hood where he’s a fox. Have you seen that movie? How can every little girl (and 17 year old girl…) not completely love him? Unfortunately, he has set the bar too high and I’m not about to lower my standards, so I’m going to die alone with my cats, whistling that annoying song at the beginning of the movie.

Word of the day: meshugana. Noun. Yiddish. Used in a sentence: Having a cold that is making me sound like a cross between Darth Vader and Chewbacca and having to live in a world where 18 year old guys have successful perfume lines is gonna drive me meshugana.

This is Halloween

As awesome as the video below is, I’d strongly recommend not watching it if you are prone to seizures. Or know anyone who is. Or if you’ve even heard the word “seizure” before.

So, what are your Halloween plans? My plans tonight have consisted of watching clips of Disney movies in other languages on youtube (thought Robin Hood couldn’t get any better? Watch it in Hebrew.), hiding in the living room with my family so we don’t have to give out candy to non-dressed up teenage trick-or-treaters, and eating lots of candy. Who needs a Halloween party when you have my life?

My neighborhood usually does trick-or-treating a few days before the 31st. Mainly so we can all dodge the creepy old people from other neighborhoods trying to get free candy, but mainly because with the exception of 2 other kids, my siblings and I are the only kids in the entire neighborhood. So Halloween is basically Picco and her siblings walking around and getting candy. Luckily pretty much everyone in the neighborhood adores us, so it’s all good. Speaking of candy, guess how much candy my family accumulated last night? Guess a ridiculous number…and then multiply it by 6.

We got 17 pounds of candy. 17 POUNDS. Disgusting? Maybe. I was thinking more along the lines of delicious, but disgusting works too… And now let’s play a game called “Guess Which of My Siblings is Slightly OCD?”

Who wants to see my dog?

I don’t even want to talk about how long it was before I put together that it’s a hotdog costume for a dog. HotDOG costume for a DOG.  It honestly took me days. *ehem*

Friday the 28th. Kind of like Friday the 13th, but…not.

First off, congratulations to the St. Louis Cardinals for winning the World Series. I totally want to be friends with Yadier Molina, Albert Pujols and David Freese because they seem like the nicest guys alive. And now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about stuff that’s actually interesting. I had a Halloween party last night! You’re totally impressed, I can tell. Since I’m not a big party person, it was kind of my trial party and I kept it small. But since it went so swimmingly the next one I have will be huge. And by huge I mean maybe I’ll invite 8 people as opposed to last night’s 5 :)

In my humble-ish opinion, the best part of the party was the food. Probably because I made all of it and I felt so proud of myself. There’s nothing better than being happy with yourself and then eating food. Fact.

Owl cupcakes=adorable. I totally thought of Mara when I made these. That girl makes me want to love owls, instead of be totally weirded out by them like I am now. Owls, creepy dolls, and water are the top three things on Picco’s I-don’t-like list.

Oh, and I also don’t like Leonardo DiCaprio, but every time I say that people are like *GASP* what?! And then they ask why and I can never pinpoint a specific reason why I don’t like him. I think it’s his creepy eyes. And the moral of that story is don’t hate on Leo unless you want to be shunned by society. I’ve found that out the hard way.

And yes, that owl is winking.

I also made eyeball cake balls. Red velvet cake, an entire can of cream cheese frosting, vanilla almond bark, life savers, and chocolate chips? Um hello, yum.

Oh and Tia, I thought of you when I was putting the green life savers on. I was just thinking of all sorts of random people when I was making food, huh?

Do you know what’s scarier than these pizza mummies? Watching the Psych episode Tuesday the 17th at midnight. Creepiest Psych episode ever. Oh and right at the scariest part of the episode, my mom was outside hitting the windows with a mop. Yeah, that totally didn’t traumatize me at all…

What’s more awesome than a pumpkin puking guacamole? Nothing. And that pumpkin was the first one I’ve ever carved by myself :) I impress myself sometimes.

I can’t think of anything to say about this other than uhhh, here’s an ice hand.

The best part is that I totally didn’t steal all of the food ideas from Pinterest. Nope, they were all totally my own. Because I’m just so creative like that.

And now it’s time for Nightmares with Picco.

Rawr.

British boys+gluten free chocolate chip cookies=happiness

There are three things that I absolutely love in life: British/Irish people (which I talked about here), food (which I talk about…in every post…), and boys’ choirs (which I’m going to talk about right now). I really, really love boys’ choirs. Like, reeeaaallllyyy love. Although, now that I’m older, it’s kind of creepy for me to go around professing my love for 11 year old boys. Awkward.

That being said, guess what I did last night from 8-10? I listened to the beautiful voices of the Westminster Cathedral Choir. And in case you didn’t know, the Westminster choir is all boys. Cute little British boys. And a bunch of them had red hair, which makes them even more awesome. Last night was kind of the best night. Ever. I could seriously talk about the adorable British boys for hours. But that might bore you to tears, so I won’t. See how nice I am? I’m always thinking of you guys and your…uhhh…boredom..? Yeah, my brain is mush today.

I’ve been trying to find a good gluten-free chocolate chip recipe. And by trying I mean this is the first and only attempt I’ve made. I know Betty Crocker sells a mix, but how much fun is it to just dump a mixture of flour, artificial flavors and crud into a bowl, add some eggs and oil, and stir? Ok, it’s actually really fun and so wonderfully easy for lazy people like myself, but that’s not the point. The point is that almost every flour mixture I’ve seen (other than the brown rice/potato starch/tapioca flour one I use) involves bean flour. And you haven’t tasted grossness until you’ve tasted Green Bean cookies.

Luckily, I think we’ve found a winner in the gluten-free flour department. And the winner is…King Arthur Multi-Purpose Flour!

And no, I don’t love this flour just because King Arthur was British. Ok that might be part of it, but seriously, it’s such a good combination of flours that you can’t tell that it’s gluten-free. Which is always a plus because nothing kills a delicious recipe quite like gritty gluten-free flour that leaves a gross aftertaste in your mouth. Blech.

But back to those British boys last night…see?! I can’t stop talking about them. One of the little guys who was probably 8 or 9 hit a high note I couldn’t hit in my wildest dreams. Which really isn’t saying much because my friend told me yesterday that she thinks I should sing bass in our church choir. Are girls even allowed to sing bass? They shouldn’t be. I got depressed just thinking about it.

Oh, and I sewed for seven hours today. It. Was. Painful. Seriously, if the state of my brain right now was a word, that word would be a;osdjfasdjf*BALEfs77fsdjfnkjguh^@*$3.14159.  But I almost finished my Holly Golightly costume so I’m happy :) But I’m only going to wear it twice, once for my friend’s Halloween party tomorrow and once for my party next week, so I’m sad :(  So much sewing for only wearing it twice? Gahhh.

But I feel accomplished today. I mean, I made cookies (that were a bit flat. Yummy. But flat), I sewed, I wrote over 500 words in this post? I’m pretty awesome sometimes.

Oh and by the way, if you are British or Irish guy, can sing, are willing to put up with my love of food, and are between the ages of 16 and 24, I am willing to consider your marriage proposal. Lines form to the left.

Gluten Free Chocolate Chip cookies

Adapted from the King Arthur flour chocolate chip cookie recipe

To make sure your oven temperature is exactly right, bake a sample cookie first. If the cookie spreads too much, raise the oven temperature slightly. If it doesn’t spread enough, lower the oven temperature slightly, or pat the dough down slightly before baking.

Ingredients

1 cup butter
1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs
2 1/3 cups gluten free flour
1 teaspoon xanthan gum
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips

Directions

Beat the butter, sugars, vanilla and salt until fluffy.

Beat in the eggs one at a time, making sure that everything is well combined.

In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour or flour blend, xanthan gum, baking powder, and baking soda.

Beat the dry ingredients into the butter mixture, then blend in the chocolate chips.

Cover the bowl and refrigerate for 1 hour, or for up to 2 days. While you wait for the cookie dough to firm up in the fridge, I recommend going to see a boyschoir. Or at least watching youtube videos of one. Or having a little boy do a fake British accent. All are adorable.

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly grease a couple of baking sheets, or line with parchment paper.

Scoop tablespoon-sized balls of dough onto the prepared baking sheets. Leave space between the cookies so they can spread.

Bake the cookies for 9 to 11 minutes, until golden brown. Remove from the oven and let rest on the baking sheets for 5 minutes, to set, before transferring to racks to cool completely. Or allow them to cool right on the baking sheets.