Stuff college students say

You know what would be cool? If we were all born with infused knowledge. Like we were super smart and wouldn’t have to learn ever. It would also be really cool if there were Dr. Pepper and McChicken trees. I’ve been studying like there’s no tomorrow and I’m a little exhausted. I was in the library with some friends for seven hours yesterday and I fell asleep on one of the couches. So, of course, one of the girls I was with took a snapchat of me and sent it to everyone on my floor. That’s what friends are for.

That being said, I need a break from memorizing the differences between divergent and convergent evolution and thought I’d share with you some things that I’ve heard around campus lately. Ready? Brace yourself. I go to school with some serious weirdos.

“Who else is excited it’s Big Cat Week on National Geographic?”
*silence*”

“Does anyone else want to go to a cattle symposium with me? They’re also including a presentation on how Obamacare affects farm land!” (Both of these were said by someone on my floor. Country folk, I tell ya.)

“I used to have a jar that had a dog’s heart with heart worms. I think I lost it, though. How you lose that is beyond me.” – my biology professor

“If I may venture to say, I’d definitely go abroad to buy a kilo of that sort of meth just to sell it back in America. Although I hear that that particular kind destroys your axons and serotonin.” -My friend and I were at breakfast and there was an intense conversation about meth in the booth next to us between what had to be two chemistry majors. It’s so hard to laugh quietly when you’re half asleep anyway.

“Why are they all wearing white shirts?”
“Because they just sang White Christmas.”
“…I don’t get it.”-I went to see the men’s a capella group perform and they put on white shirts to sing White Christmas. Apparently not everyone caught on.

“Have you had these rice krispies treats? They’re like nectar of the gods. Or maybe my food standards have just been lowered incredibly.” -dining hall

“This place is so dirty. Oh well. You kids are paying thousands of dollars and that lets me have a job. Sometimes it gets frustrating, but that’s part of the job law.” – I was at the library attempting to study last night and some poor student had to be berated for a good twenty minutes by one of the ladies cleaning the library. She complained about her job for half of those. Also, does anyone know what a job law is…?

“It’s only when we lose ourselves that we truly find ourselves.”
“Wow, that’s deep.”
“Yeah, thanks. But like I said earlier, please never wear that shirt again.” -Again, a booth next to me in the dining hall

“I think it should be a law that everyone has to play Animal Crossing. I think that would bring about world peace. Yeah.” -two guys studying next to me who were way too old to be playing video games.

Where am I going to college.

So, I stole the chemistry test answer key. But don’t judge me. Only God can judge me.

I’ve been trying to blog for a while, but, ha, that obviously hasn’t happened. Here are some snippets of posts that I’ve written but haven’t published:

One of the perks of going to a somewhat competitive college is that a majority of the people here are very smart. I definitely have encountered some people who still don’t know the difference between there, their, and they’re, but all of my pre-med friends intimidate me. Because everyone’s relatively educated it’s possible to have deep conversations with most of them. Some of the most profound ones I’ve had have been at midnight or later and all involve drunk people. I don’t drink which makes it that much funnier because I remember the whole thing the next day and they generally don’t. Some topics that have been covered are whether or not euthanasia is ethical, the in-depth rules of chess (and then the drunk guy proceeded to beat the sober guy at chess multiple times) and why Batman is able to save Gotham all by himself.

Since getting to college I’ve become much more laid-back. Not that I was ever high strung before, but now I really don’t get upset easily. Actually it’s gotten so bad (good?) that five people (two yesterday) now have asked me if I wanted to smoke pot with them. I informed them that I don’t do drugs. They all seemed shocked and said that I have the calm, easygoing personality of a stoner and that I’m easy to talk to. Apparently that’s a compliment?

I took a chemistry test a few weeks ago. The professor is probably the most insane man I’ve ever encountered and we watched a baseball game on the projector during one class. He also has a bit of a temper. He went over some people’s test with them in lab and mine was the last he went over before class ended. He handed me my test (or what I thought was my test) and I left. We had a chem lecture later that day and he flipped out at the beginning telling us that someone stole the answer key and they needed to return it right away so he could finish grading the tests. Why someone would want to steal the answer key to a chem 100 class is beyond me, but he was in a bad mood for the rest of lecture. A few days later he sent out a long, threatening email about how whoever stole it needs to give it back immediately. We got the same speech again in the chemistry lab later that week. Halfway through his rant I had this strong inclination to look in my lab folder. Guess who had accidentally taken the answer key instead of their test? Yeah, that would be me. Interrupting his speech and handing over the answer key in front of 30-40 people who all applauded me was probably the most awkward moment I’ve had since getting here.

This week has been pretty stressful, but fun. I had a biology test yesterday and gave a 15 minute presentation in nursing that multiple people said they really enjoyed. And some girl the other day said, “I don’t know how to say this without sounding awkward, but you’re really awesome.” Hey, I’ll take that. In life milestone news, I got in my first real fist fight last night! I was debating with my friend RJ about who knows what and he randomly went “DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT?” I’ve never actually fought with a 19 year old guy who works out multiple times a week and only drinks protein shakes. I don’t know why I thought that I would win… In biology lab today we got to spit into cuvettes to sample our cheek cells and somehow got ten extra credit points for it. So yeah, that’s pretty much what’s been going on. And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m currently lying on my friend’s floor about to watch She’s the Man and possibly fall asleep. I party hard. But for real, the amount of sleep that every gets here is laughable. We have competitions to see who can sleep the most at night and there is definitely a moment of silence in respect for you if you say that you got more than 9 hours.

My name is Picco, and I am a survivor of my first week of college

There are people literally running into the walls outside my door. It’s like they’re playing hall ball out there, but instead of throwing around a football they’re using their bodies. Is this what college is like? Because this is downright weird. That being said, I’ve made it through my first seven days of college. Commence wild applause. I kept typing applesauce when I was just trying to type applause. I think I need to post this and go to sleep for all of our sake.

5th floor of college dorm

I moved in last Saturday, and I got stuck on the 5th floor of my dorm. Don’t even get me started. I – and the rest of my floor – have found that it’s best to just run straight up all 71 stairs without stopping so that you only feel the burn at the top. This past week has honestly been a blur. We’ve had freshman week which is basically three hours of classes pertaining to our major each day and the rest of the day is filled with ice breakers and group activities that no one really wants to go to. Yesterday was the first official day of class and we were all beyond ready for it. My freshman week class for nursing involved us reading a chapter of Peter Pan and begin making a movie relating freshman week to the chapter. Because that totally makes sense?

how to study for college students

I’ve found the best way to study is to camp out in a friend’s room and eat all her Frosted Flakes. Or today I spent three hours studying in the library with a girl who is in all of my classes and we basically got all of our homework done for the weekend. I kinda was more productive sans sugary cereal, but I’ve heard it both ways.

dodgeball

Yesterday I had a nursing class and biology, and today I had psych. So far all of my professors are incredibly nice and have said that we don’t have to bring our books to class (THANK GOODNESS. MY BIOLOGY BOOK HAS LEAD-COVERED BRICKS FOR PAPER. Lead’s heavy, right?). A majority of the people on my floor are all the fraternity/sorority type. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but anyone who knows me can tell you that’s not really how I work. No, but seriously. I would never be allowed in a sorority nor would I want to join one. I can’t imagine paying the $35 fee just to rush since I died a little on the inside dropping $15 on a flash drive today. I think I’ve talked to all 38 people in my nursing class and I’ve already gotten to know two of them really well. I have plenty of random friends all over the place here, so I’m not too deprived in the social department here, which is good. Quite the transition from homeschool…

skipping stones by the lake

I just wanted to check in with all of you and let you know that college is going well.

bacon?

And apparently there are machines in the bathrooms here that give you the option to place bacon in your hands or directly onto your face.