Pie and my brothers. Right there you can tell it’s going to be a great blog post.

I don’t like pie. I won’t restrain myself from eating an entire pie if it was placed in front of me, but I won’t go out of my way to make/eat one. Since we had a pie crust in the fridge that was best by Tuesday, I figured I had to make a pie. And make one I did.

I’m not sure about you, but I live in the Midwest. (Silently in your head) Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure we don’t grow any fruit here. Ok, I know we do, but we don’t have oranges like Florida or…uhhh… basically, I have no idea what I’m talking about here. The point of all of this is we had 2 bananas and 3 apples in our fruit basket and you can’t make a pie with those. Side note: I refuse to eat bananas because their edible shelf life is like 30 seconds. You get them and they’re like GREENGREENGREENGREENGREENyellowBROWNBROWNBROWN. They’re mean and therefore I boycott them. So I used canned peaches. I wrote an entire paragraph about I don’t even know what just to say that I used canned peaches to make a pie. And the best part is that I’m not going to rewrite it because I’m lazy.

This pie was hit and miss among my siblings. I ate two slices with Moose Tracks ice cream and it was quite delicious. There’s still half a pie left so I guess I’m going to have to eat that too. I know it would be much better with fresh peaches and not 3 cans of Costco peaches.

That’s really all I’ve got on the subject of pie. Because I have nothing else to say, here’s a story from the Italiana household.

My brothers were playing Monopoly earlier today and Future Chef Brother got a hotel. Evil Scientist Brother got really mad and said, “Fine. Now you have to go kiss a hobo.” Future Chef said, “But I don’t want to!” and Evil Scientist responded, “Oh, I see. You want to wait until AFTER you’re married to kiss him.”

There’s never a dull moment in this house. Also, I just hit 350 Pinterest followers. I love being loved by people I’ll never actually meet.

Peach pie

From I’mastinkingliar.com

1 8-inch pie plate

1 unbaked pie crust
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (Or not. Legumes don’t belong in pies, unless we’re talking about pecan pie, in which I approve.)
1/2 cup unbleached flour
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/3 white sugar plus 1 tsp. reserved
3 cans of sliced peaches in light syrup, drained
6 tsp. white sugar
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
2 tbsp. organic butter, chilled (I left in the organic part from the original recipe because it made me laugh. We’re a family of 9. There’s no way we’re spending the extra money to buy organic butter.)

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Combine the chopped walnuts, brown and white sugars, and flour in a small bowl. Set aside for the topping.

3. Place the pie crust into your pie pan and crimp the edges as beautifully as I crimped mine. Oof. Sprinkle the bottom of the crust with 1 tsp. of reserved white sugar.

4. Pour the canned peaches into a colander, rinse with fresh water, drain and gently pat dry.

5. Combine the peaches, cinnamon, nutmeg and 6 tsp. of sugar in a medium-sized bowl. Mix gently with your hands or a wooden spoon to blend. I recommend a spoon because that just sounds nasty.

6. Put half of the sliced peaches into the pie crust. Sprinkle half of the walnut (I can’t be friends with you if you added walnuts), flour and sugar topping over the peaches and top with the remaining fruit.

7. Sprinkle the second half of the topping over the peaches and dot with pea-sized crumbles of the organic butter. Stir to combine because I had flour on top of mine that didn’t soak in while it was baking. Mmm, nothing like the taste of dry flour with your canned peaches.

8. Bake the pie on the middle rack of the oven for 15 minutes. Reduce the temperature to 325 Fahrenheit and bake for an additional 25 minutes.

9. Om nom nom.

There’s never a dull moment when you have little brothers

Being the oldest of 6 (soon to be 7), I have a lot of odd things said to me on a daily basis, especially from my brothers. I obviously feel the need to tell you about them, so prepare to be amused/weirded out.

A few days ago I was just sitting on my bed when my engineer-brained freaky genius slightly evil scientist-like brother came in. This brother is known for pondering things and saying stuff that makes you go, “…wait, what?” He explained light refraction the other day. And he’s half my age. I’m not sure why my siblings feel like they can just barge into my room, but they do. So anyway, he looked at my wall and saw all the concert tickets I have taped to it. He asked, “Have you been to all of those concerts?” When I said yes, he exclaimed, “WOW! You’re the most interesting person I know! You sure know how to brighten up a room.” I just sat there dumbfounded while he turned to leave. On his way out he looked at my money jar labeled Ireland Fund and said, “You really think you’re gonna go to Ireland, huh? Because I don’t.” And walked out. I don’t even know where to begin with this…

Speaking of weird, let me give you the down-low of the conversation that went on in my head the other day:

Dum dee dum dum dum. I’m hungry. Ha, when am I not hungry? Exactly. I need to go scout out some food. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller…NO. That song will never get out of my head. Oooo, maybe I’ll have a peach. You’re insecure, don’t know what for…HEY, I JUST MET YOU, AND THIS IS CRAZY. Ugh. Why does my brain have it’s own soundtrack…? Gross, this peach has a rotten part on it. I need to cut it off. I think sodas need to come with a straw so when you’re trying to sip the last bit of it you don’t have to do an awkward backbend to get it. Yeah, that’s a great idea that I may or may not have stolen from Marie. I guess while I’m cutting off the gross part, I should just slice up the whole thing. Whoops, text from Kait. Must. Ignore. It. Well…ok, I have to respond. Oh, she’s just quoting Napoleon Dynamite. Never mind. Back to the peach. *slice slice slice* Wait, what the…HOLY ASTRINGENT PEACH-LIKE FRUIT, BATMAN. THAT’S A WORM.*

Yes, there was a disgusting worm in my peach. Worm. In something I was about to devour. Saying I was traumatized is an understatement. I still feel like I have bugs crawling on me.

*Side note, “Holy Astringent Plum-like Fruit, Batman” was actually a phrase uttered by Robin in the old Batman tv show. The writers on that show had serious issues.

Evil scientist brother explained to me the difference between cupcakes and muffins. “Cupcakes are just cake with frosting on top, while muffins are delicious pastries filled with fruit or chocolate.” Thanks for clearing that up.

Corrupted brother was looking at my dog Gemma and said to me, “When mommy’s new baby, Spiderbaby, is born, I think we need to shoot Gemma because she bites people.” I explained to him that he was insane and she’s never bitten anyone. After thinking about it for a second he said, “Maybe at Christmas after Santa gives us presents he’ll go STICK YOUR HANDS UP, GEMMA, shoot her, and leave.”

I could continue, but this post is getting long.

I love having brothers.

Ground Beef+Vegetable Casserole

Adapted from here

1lb ground beef
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of chicken soup (I used cream of mushroom and the world didn’t explode, so don’t feel confined to only using cream of chicken.)
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can milk
1 (8 ounce) package of noodles. The original recipe called for egg noodles, but the only noodles we have in this house are spaghetti and penne. Obviously, I used penne.
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 cup shredded cheese

Brown ground beef in a large pot. I really hate cooking with meat because I’m always scared it’s not going to be cooked all the way and I’m going to poison my family. Valid fear…right?

Drain fat off and season meat with onion powder, salt, and pepper. After browning, add cream of chicken soup; mix well. Add one soup can full of milk and mix well.

Simmer on low 25 minutes.

Mix in cooked and drained noodles and transfer this to a baking dish.

Top with shredded cheese.

Bake the casserole covered in 325° oven for 25 to 30 minutes, and uncover for the last 10 minutes.

Enjoy.

Oh, and I just threw in some random frozen vegetables. You pretty much have to sneak vegetables into foods around here. Even with me…