Being the oldest of 6 (soon to be 7), I have a lot of odd things said to me on a daily basis, especially from my brothers. I obviously feel the need to tell you about them, so prepare to be amused/weirded out.
A few days ago I was just sitting on my bed when my engineer-brained freaky genius slightly evil scientist-like brother came in. This brother is known for pondering things and saying stuff that makes you go, “…wait, what?” He explained light refraction the other day. And he’s half my age. I’m not sure why my siblings feel like they can just barge into my room, but they do. So anyway, he looked at my wall and saw all the concert tickets I have taped to it. He asked, “Have you been to all of those concerts?” When I said yes, he exclaimed, “WOW! You’re the most interesting person I know! You sure know how to brighten up a room.” I just sat there dumbfounded while he turned to leave. On his way out he looked at my money jar labeled Ireland Fund and said, “You really think you’re gonna go to Ireland, huh? Because I don’t.” And walked out. I don’t even know where to begin with this…
Speaking of weird, let me give you the down-low of the conversation that went on in my head the other day:
Dum dee dum dum dum. I’m hungry. Ha, when am I not hungry? Exactly. I need to go scout out some food. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller…NO. That song will never get out of my head. Oooo, maybe I’ll have a peach. You’re insecure, don’t know what for…HEY, I JUST MET YOU, AND THIS IS CRAZY. Ugh. Why does my brain have it’s own soundtrack…? Gross, this peach has a rotten part on it. I need to cut it off. I think sodas need to come with a straw so when you’re trying to sip the last bit of it you don’t have to do an awkward backbend to get it. Yeah, that’s a great idea that I may or may not have stolen from Marie. I guess while I’m cutting off the gross part, I should just slice up the whole thing. Whoops, text from Kait. Must. Ignore. It. Well…ok, I have to respond. Oh, she’s just quoting Napoleon Dynamite. Never mind. Back to the peach. *slice slice slice* Wait, what the…HOLY ASTRINGENT PEACH-LIKE FRUIT, BATMAN. THAT’S A WORM.*
Yes, there was a disgusting worm in my peach. Worm. In something I was about to devour. Saying I was traumatized is an understatement. I still feel like I have bugs crawling on me.
*Side note, “Holy Astringent Plum-like Fruit, Batman” was actually a phrase uttered by Robin in the old Batman tv show. The writers on that show had serious issues.
Evil scientist brother explained to me the difference between cupcakes and muffins. “Cupcakes are just cake with frosting on top, while muffins are delicious pastries filled with fruit or chocolate.” Thanks for clearing that up.
Corrupted brother was looking at my dog Gemma and said to me, “When mommy’s new baby, Spiderbaby, is born, I think we need to shoot Gemma because she bites people.” I explained to him that he was insane and she’s never bitten anyone. After thinking about it for a second he said, “Maybe at Christmas after Santa gives us presents he’ll go STICK YOUR HANDS UP, GEMMA, shoot her, and leave.”
I could continue, but this post is getting long.
I love having brothers.
Ground Beef+Vegetable Casserole
Adapted from here
1lb ground beef
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of chicken soup (I used cream of mushroom and the world didn’t explode, so don’t feel confined to only using cream of chicken.)
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can milk
1 (8 ounce) package of noodles. The original recipe called for egg noodles, but the only noodles we have in this house are spaghetti and penne. Obviously, I used penne.
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 cup shredded cheese
Brown ground beef in a large pot. I really hate cooking with meat because I’m always scared it’s not going to be cooked all the way and I’m going to poison my family. Valid fear…right?
Drain fat off and season meat with onion powder, salt, and pepper. After browning, add cream of chicken soup; mix well. Add one soup can full of milk and mix well.
Simmer on low 25 minutes.
Mix in cooked and drained noodles and transfer this to a baking dish.
Top with shredded cheese.
Bake the casserole covered in 325° oven for 25 to 30 minutes, and uncover for the last 10 minutes.